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Samantha
Played by: | Rose McIver |
Family members: | Hetty Woodstone (her great-great-great-great aunt), Elias Woodstone (her her great-great-great-great-uncle) Sheryl (her mother), Jay (her husband), Sophia Woodstone (her great-aunt), Frank (her father) |
Abilities: | See and hear ghosts |
Occupation: | Freelance writer, Entrepreneur, Bed and Breakfast Owner |
Personality
Considered rather impulsive, Sam has a can-do attitude and dreams big. Upon learning that she has inherited a large estate from her great Aunt Sophie, whom she’d only met once, she immediately gets excited with the prospects of moving away from the city and opening a bed and breakfast with her husband, Jay. When she first arrives at the house, she is excited for all the potential the property has. Sam has a colorful personality which is highlighted by her desire to decorate all the rooms in different themes and paint them each bright and bold colors. This action is symbolic of Sam’s overall positive outlook, especially when facing difficult tasks or situations. When Jay worries about how much work the house will need just to be safe for dwelling, Sam tells him that they can fix it up. As they are preparing the house to open as a Bed and Breakfast, she takes advantage of every opportunity that will help their future business get on the map. She jumps at the opportunity to allow an Alberta Haynes fan to stay the night as a dry run for dealing with guests (“Alberta’s Fan”). She becomes super excited when famous influencers choose the Woodstone Mansion as the venue for their wedding and readily invites a notoriously hard-to-please wedding planner to the home to check out the accommodations and try a sample menu (“Possession”). She reasons that any new experience is worth a try because it will help her grow and become better.
As most of us would be, Sam is initially very leery of the ghosts, responding at first with shock and fear, not understanding who they are or why they are there. The day after her return to the Woodstone Mansion following her release from the hospital, she approaches each room with caution, concerned that a ghost might be in there with her. In “Hello” as she enters the bathroom, she notices something stirring the shower curtain. She approaches with caution but upon pulling it back, she discovers that it is only a bird. She appears relieved but as she turns around she sees Pete, a ghost of a scout leader from the 1980s with an arrow through his neck. She immediately screams which causes Pete to scream and quickly grabs the nearest thing she can (a plunger) to chase him away. She follows him as he runs through the door. Of course, she is mortal so she ends up crashing into the door instead and falls onto her back, hitting her head once again. After talking to Jay who tells her that whatever she is seeing are the results of her head injury, she decides to simply ignore the ghosts who have in turn decided to keep pestering her until she acknowledges their existence. Once she finally realizes that the ghosts must be real, as she is able to see different ones in different locations, she comes to accept them as a part of the house and over time and creates a friendship with them, often agreeing to help them deal with what she perceives as unfinished business.
Sam earns a living as a freelance writer. When Issac, a ghost from the Revolutionary War, discovers her profession, he asks her to pen his biography so that his story can be told like that of his rival, Alexander Hamilton. She agrees and we see them discussing his life story in “Hello” After moving into the Woodstone Mansion, she goes out for a writing position at the Ulster County Review (“Flower’s Article”). We see how her choice to become a writer conflicts with what her mother wanted for her in “Sam’s Mom”. In this episode, Sam decides to return to her home state of Ohio to visit the restaurant, Mojitown, where her mother, Sheryl, died of due to a severe allergic reaction to shellfish. While her mother was still alive, Sam faced a lot of pressure from her to pursue a career that would yield more success.
Sam is a kind woman, often seeking to help the ghosts when she can. In “Viking Funeral”, she agrees to give Thorfinn a traditional viking funeral after the contractor tells her and Jay that workers had discovered bones in the front yard. She believes that this could perhaps help him move on, In “Flower’s Article”, she tries to help Sass communicate with his long-lost love, Shiki, through a series of text messages, and ends up just telling her how much Sass is still in love with her. In “Trevor’s Pants“, Sam encourages Thorfinn to talk to Flower about his feelings for her stating that he had such a good therapy session and he is ready to have difficult conversations.
In “Pete’s Wife”, she agrees to invite Pete’s widow, Carol, to the house so that Pete can see her again. She also reminds Pete of the importance of forgiveness after Pete finds out that Carol had had an affair with his best friend, Jerry while he was still alive. During a makeshift memorial in his honor, Sam reads an insert about this virtue from his Pinecone Trooper handbook which encourages Pete to let go of his anger and forgive his wife.
In “D&D”, Sam agrees to be the liaison between Pete and Jay so that Jay can continue to play Dungeons and Dragons after getting the boot from the group with whom he used to play in New York City. Within the same episode, she meets three British soldiers from the Revolutionary War. Lead by Lt.Col Nigel Chessum of his Majesty’s Armed Forces, the soldiers approach the house and demand that the door to the shed, where they stay, be replaced at once. Sam simply agrees and asks if there is anything else that she can do for them.
Furthermore, she engages in therapy for Thorfinn in “Thorapy” in an effort to help him confront his nightly terrors and trauma stemming from him having to kill a squirrel that he befriended during this lifetime, and had named “Oskar”. Sam told Thor that he didn’t do anything wrong by killing the squirrel because he did what he had to do to survive after being abandoned by his shipmates.
Sam also suffers from a bit of anxiety surrounding the opening of the bed and breakfast. In “Ghostwriter” we see Sam continue to put off finishing the website for the B&B, which is the final step before they can officially open for business and start taking reservations. At the beginning of the episode, Sam finds every reason to avoid working on the website, including sitting with Pete and Jay and translating the basketball game between them and watching YouTube videos of dogs being reunited with their owners. Sass catches her doing this and Sam admits that she is stuck on ideas and that writing is stressful for her. He offers to help her, since he is a storyteller and at first, Sam is appreciative of the offer and accepts. However, when Sass tells Sam his idea about telling the story of the Woodstone Mansion from the perspective of a tree named “Woody”, she doesn’t like it at all. They both are stubborn and each wants their ideas to be the one used for the website, thus creating a creative standstill. The two fight, and in trying to get Sam to see things his way, Sass recruits Trevor to type his ideas down on Sam’s laptop. Instead, they accidently delete the website all together. When Sam and Jay discover what happened, Sass and Trevor confess and much to their and Jay’s surprise, she is not upset at all, stating that it was an accident. When Jay tells her to yell at the ghosts, she admits that the website needs to be perfect and if it’s not perfect then no one will come and she would’ve dragged Jay away from their home and jobs in New York City for nothing. Upon hearing this confession, Sass confronts her about her nervousness. She tells him that after the website is finished and launched, then the prospect of having a business becomes real and she is afraid that her and Jay will have no recourse should the project fail.
Sam’s anxiety also manifests itself when she receives criticism. (“Spies‘). She would rather bend over backward to please others than have them say anything negative to, or about, her.
In “Sam’s Mom”, Sam is nervous about seeing her mom for the first time following her death, hoping that she’s done enough to prove her wrong regarding her career choice and that she will finally feel that her mom is finally proud of her.
And there is a hint that Sam might be feeling overwhelmed with the fact that she can now talk to ghosts and feels a burden with having to care for them. Jay suggests that she also talk to a therapist during “Thorapy” to help with managing such a complex ability.
Sam is someone who can think quickly on her feet, especially when trying to convince someone of something. In the “Pilot” episode, upon learning from the family attorney that she’s inherited this enormous property and hearing that among the potential buyers for a property this size are bed and breakfast operators, she impulsively decides that she and her husband should open a bed and breakfast instead of selling the house. She then goes on to tell Jay how living in the city is not a good idea any longer since they work long hours with nothing to show for it. She tells Jay that since he’s a chef that would take care of half the requirements for a B&B and that since she can write freelance articles from anywhere, the income garnered from that could help support them while they get the business off the ground. This argument convinces Jay to at least agree to go to the property for the weekend, check it out, and then talk a little more about their options, including the possibility of opening a bed and breakfast. In “Hello,” when finding that Jay is having difficulty believing that Sam can see and hear ghosts, she leads Jay downstairs to the basement where a cluster of ghosts who died of cholera stay. Up until this point, Jay had been having difficulty with figuring out how to turn on the water heater. As these ghosts have been downstairs for quite some time, they have become experts at how the water heater functions. Sam is able to guide Jay in fixing the water heater with input from the ghosts. She then tells him “see, how else would I have known that?”.
In “The Vault“ Sam and Jay were in desperate need for income as the wedding they had previously booked fell through thanks to the shenanigans of her fourth great grandfather. However, they were able to recover an expensive watch that he had on his ghostly person and that was only on his corpse and realized that they could sell it as it was more than likely worth a fortune. In “Trevor’s Pants”, Sam announces that the jeweler they had given the watch to had found a potential buyer for the watch and that he was coming to the mansion to check it out before finalizing the sale. The buyer is Ari Cantor, who is a former colleague and friend to Trevor. Trevor then tells Sam (in addition to Alberta, Sasappis, Issac, and Hetty) about the night he and his work friends came to the Woodstone Mansion to celebrate another colleague’s promotion (Pinkus). For reference, one of Trevor’s friends is David Woodstone whose mother, Sophie Woodstone and unnamed husband, owned the estate. During Ari’s visit, Trevor longs to reminisce about his life with Ari so he asks Sam to act as a “translator.” As Ari is examining the watch he intends to buy, she asks him if he knew Trevor, speaking as if she had heard his name from her uncle, in the few times he might have talked to her. She claims that her uncle told her about the time that he, Trevor, and their crew from work was at the Woodstone Mansion to celebrate Pinkus’ promotion. Ari immediately sidesteps the question and rushes off to make a phone call.
When Hetty and Alberta overhear Ari’s phone call, they conclude that he was involved in something sketchy involving Trevor’s death, and they tell the others. This leads Sam to question what really happened on the night Trevor died. She learns from Sasappis how Trevor really lost his pants, which was in an act of kindness and selflessness toward Pinkus. He also reveals that Trevor was in fact betrayed by his so-called “bros” and that they had covered up his death. Upon hearing this, Sam wants to do something to help make Trevor feel better and agrees to help get revenge on Ari. She writes down on a piece of paper “I know what you did.”-T. Money, and hides a bottle of Chekhov Chill in the old “drug drawer.” Officially freaked out, Ari offers double the asking price of the old watch and asks that no one speaks of this day again. She then notices the bottle in his hand and suggests that he is supposed to do something with it, stating that she doesn’t make the rules.
In “Dinner Party”, Sam and Jay invite their next door neighbors, the Farnsbys over for dinner. Later, as Jay is preparing the meal for the evening, she tells him that they should “butter them up” during dinner and then re-open the discussion about the bed and breakfast.
During the course of the Dinner Party”, she realizes that a surefire way to impress the Farnsbys and win their approval for the Bed and Breakfast permit, she pretends to know alot about their favorite show “Newhart.” Of course she must ask the ghosts for help as she doesn’t know any of this information on her own. She also maintains that she loves jazz and that she believes that young people do not have any appreciation for the things that came before them. She almost convinces them to approve the permit but they are adamant about her and Jay making a rather large donation which could be perceived as a bride. Upon leaving the table, the ghosts overhear the Farnsbys talk about their pickleball court that they knocked down a carriage house to build. Knowing that this goes against several historical building codes, the ghosts divulge this information to Sam who then calls the Farnsbys out on their hypocrisy. She is able to attain the permit without making any donations to do so.
In “Alberta’s Fan“, Sam convinces her husband to allow an Alberta Haynes enthusiast to stay as the unofficial first guest of their B&B, saying that it will be sort of a practice run for how to deal with guests when they officially open for business. She agrees to allow him to borrow some of Jay’s pjs and offers him a home-cooked meal for a more “personal touch.”
In “Possession”, in an effort to help Hetty’s spirit get out of Jay’s body, she arranges a DIY exorcism while simultaneously distracting/entertaining the wedding planner so as to protect their chances of being booked for their first wedding. With the priest not able to come until after the wedding planner’s visit, Sam does her best to excuse or rationalize Jay’s behavior as he is possessed by Hetty’s spirit and his words are not his own.
She also is readily able to speak up for herself and stand firm in her decisions. In “Hello”, after acknowledging that the ghosts exist and after they ask her to leave, she tells them firmly that she and Jay are staying because the Woodstone Mansion is their home now. She then sets clear boundaries so that the ghosts will respect her and Jay’s space and privacy. In “Dinner Party,” she asks the ghost to leave her and Jay alone so that they can successfully persuade their next door neighbors, the Farnsbys, to approve their request to open a bed and breakfast. The ghosts object to this idea, stating that a B&B would bring about too many people and subsequently chaos. Sam responds by stating that if they are not able to open this hotel, then they will have to move and whoever buys the house next won’t have the ability she has to see, hear, and do things for the ghosts to help make their afterlives more enjoyable. In “Halloween” after learning that the ghosts burned down the gazebo by accident but then blamed it on the kids who egged the house earlier that evening, she lets them know that their actions were unacceptable and passes down consequences for their behavior in the form of no TV for one week.
In “Attic Girl“, although Sam’s initial meeting with Stephanie, the teenage ghost, doesn’t go very well, Sam is enthusiastic about Stephanie’s idea to throw a ghost prom. However, Stephanie suggests that there be no livings allowed at the prom, which saddens Sam. When she suggests that she just stop by for a little bit, Stephanie is adamant that she is not needed and that she’d be doing Sam a big favor by keeping the ghosts out of her way since she and Jay are busy preparing for their first guests. Sam is very hurt and a bit angered by this and is reminded of her own unfortunate experience surrounding her prom. After Pete hears of Sam’s bad prom experience, he relays the story to Stephanie, hoping that she will change her mind and invite Sam to ghost prom. However, she learns that her story only gave fuel to Stephanie’s initial dislike of Sam when a grocery bag filled with baguettes is delivered to the house for a “Mrs. Pierre LaCroix”, by way of the Amazon Echo. After the ghosts decide not to attend the prom after learning that Stephanie’s prank was to make Sam feel worse about her own prom experience, they apologize to Sam for her actions and swear that they would’ve never gone along with it had they known it was in an effort to upset her. They then tell Sam that they got her back and left Stephanie by herself. Sam worries about leaving Stephanie alone on the one night a year she is awake and on the very night that she wanted to have a ghost prom in an effort to recreate the event she missed as a teenager. Sam decides to do something nice for Stephanie and surprises her with a decorated dining room, re-creating what prom in 1987 might have looked like, complete with popular songs from the 1980s. Afterwards, Sam cleans out the attic and decorates it for Stephanie to help her feel more comfortable in her space. She even gives her a poster of her favorite band, U2, to hang next to her bed, much to Hetty’s chigrin.
In “Farnsby & B“, Sam shows great frustration when she and Jay lose two bookings for their B&B to their neighbors, the Farnsby, who in spite of the couple have opened their own B&B to thwart their business. When their bad luck worsens (the termite damage in the basement and the falling of their crystal chandelier), Thorfinn admits to Sam and Jay that he put a curse ont he couple when they first moved in and spoke of their plans of opening a B&B. He is convinced that that is why their bad luck continues. At first, Sam doesn’t believe in the curse, but when Jay and Alberta both say that one should never poke fun at a curse. So, then Sam agrees to find out how to break the curse which only involves mixing a pound of sugar and a pinch of cinnamon. When the ghosts say that there is a small chance that reversing the curse could also cause Sam not to be able to see or hear them anymore, she decides not to go through with creating the antidote. She insteads decides to fix the things in the house that needs fixing and beat the Farnsby at their own game.
She and Jay invite the Farnsby over and challenge them to a game of Pickleball. She offers that if they win, the Farnsby will close their B&B and if they lose, they will sell the house. In the middle of the game, Mr. Farnsby hurts his back and Sam and Jay win by default. As such, the Farnsby close their B&B, forcing their guests who were originally Sam and Jay’s guests to go to the Woodstone B&B to finish out their stay. Sam exclaims that they beat the curse or that their was no curse to begin with and reasons with Jay that they were able to get to open their B&B. But upon opening the door to welcome their first guests, the termite damage they were told about in the beginning of the episode, finally gives way and the couple fall through the floor. Sam states frantically that there’s no curse and that they will fix the floor.
While Sam has the ability to stand up for herself, as was evident in “Hello”, she also seems to be easily persuaded by the ghosts as her relationships with them grow stronger. For example, there have been plenty of opportunities for her to make money that would help her fledgling business and could help with the perpetual repairs of the Woodstone Mansion. Examples include the selling of Thor’s bones to a museum or the use of the mansion to tape an episode for a television show. However, if the ghosts show to be against the idea, she more often than not goes along with the ghosts, even if it means missing out on an opportunity to help herself and her husband.
In “A Date to Remember” Jay finally tells Sam that she has got to learn to say no to the Ghosts.
Sam is a lover of all things predictable, cheesy holiday movie. She’s a big believer in miracles and that if you try hard enough, you can make anything happen, including bringing two people together. In “The Christmas Spirit, Part One & Part Two”, inspired by Christmas movies, she attempts to kindle the fire of love between her sister in law, Bela, and Bela‘s long-time friend, Eric.
While Sam means well, she can be a little manipulative into getting what she wants, what she thinks is best, or getting out of an uncomfortable situation. For example, when arguing with Jay about which part of the house to fix first, she tells Jay that the Ghosts (who were only there to observe the argument) agreed with her belief that the fountain should take precedence over the roof. She convinced Jay to turn down a huge amount of money so that they could give a Ghost dead 1000 years a funeral for which they also got cited for, and instead of letting two old people be, she allowed a ghost to convince her to try to get them back together, much to Jay’s initial refusal. In “A Date to Remember” the Ghosts ask Sam to try the ram’s testicles as Thorfinn is unable to remember what they taste like. Because she doesn’t want to, she tells Jay that the Ghosts are asking if he can eat some of the dish, instead.
Sam’s anxiety is on full display as she engages in the “comparison game” when a former classmate comes to stay at the B&B. She becomes discouraged, despite her success with her new business and coming into a new home-for free, that her writing career isn’t panning out the way that she wanted. She finds that when she “must” perpetrate a lie that a book she wrote about Isaac got published, when originally it didn’t, she enjoys the external validation it brings about.
One of Sam’s favorite holidays is Halloween and she dresses up every year for it.
Sam suffers from debilitating stage fright until Alberta helps her overcome it in “A Star is Dead.”
History
Sam was born and raised in Ohio as an only child. She graduated from Northwestern University with a focus on journalism, a decision of which her mother was not supportive. After college, she moved to New York City to pursue a career in writing where she met her husband Jay, an aspiring chef.
During this time and six years prior to the start of our story, Sam’s mother, Sheryl, passed away during a lunch outing at Mojitown from a severe allergic reaction to a dish containing shellfish. Sam and her mom have a rather contentious relationship that developed after Sam chose to pursue journalism instead of her mom’s preferred law profession. The last time she saw her mom was at Thanksgiving where they argued due to Sam’s choosing journalism over law and she has carried that guilt with her for the past six years.
Sam and Jay are typical millennials trying to make ends meet while living in one of the most expensive cities in America. Before moving to Woodstone Mansion, they lived in a very small, overpriced apartment. Upon hearing that she’s inherited the massive property following the death of her great aunt, she initially considers the idea of selling the property, but then contemplates keeping it and turning it into a bed and breakfast.
During their initial visits to the home, Sam and Jay are very excited about the potential opportunities it could bring, despite it being very old and needing a lot of work. They have no idea that the place is haunted. As with most motals, Sam and Jay cannot hear or see anything out of the ordinary, most certainly not ghosts. After walking into one of the rooms on the first floor, Sam’s first order of business while in the house is to light some sage to ward off any negative energy or evil spirits, stating it’s “old house 101”. When they hear that Sam and Jay plan to turn it into a hotel, the ghosts decide to turn on the couple, hoping to haunt them out of the house so they can have it back to themselves and avoid a plethora of unwanted visitors.
Upon storming out of one of the bedrooms after argument with Jay, she trips over a vase that Trevor had earlier knocked onto the floor and falls down the stairs, hitting her head on the hardwood floors.
Sam is put into a medically induced coma for two weeks before awakening and returning to the house. As the car pulls up, the ghosts gather at one of the large windows and Hetty expresses relief that she is okay. Jay tells her that her accident helped him see how important keeping the house was to her and financially arranged everything so that they could stay, including taking out loans and maxing out credit cards to afford the repairs. The construction workers and the contractor arrive at the house at the same time they do and upon walking into the house for the first time in two weeks, Sam looks around and is able to see Trevor, a ghost who died in the early 2000s and who does not wear pants but wears his suit jacket shirt and tie. She comments to him that he is dressed nicely for a construction worker which freaks Trevor out and warrants him to tell the others that Sam saw and spoke to him. As Sam continues upstairs and enters into one of the rooms, she is touched to see that Jay had the room painted canary yellow, the Same color she was contemplating painting the wall before her accident. She then sees the ghosts, one by one, enter the Same room through the walls. Sam is initially shocked to see all these entities at once, not believing it to be real. She then becomes straight up terrified when a head-less ghost named Crash enters last and screams in horror.
In the first few days following her return home, Sam is convinced that she is simply experiencing the after effects of her head injury and that the ghosts are simply hallucinations. The ghosts are disappointed and frustrated by this and are determined to pester her until she comes to accept that they are real and acknowledges their presence. After grabbing a screwdriver for Jay as he is attempting to fix the water heater in the basement, she discovers that there are more ghosts in the house. She erroneously calls them zombies as they have a more “dead-like” appearance than the ghosts upstairs.
As she was previously looking up psychotic breaks prior to coming to the basement and then upon seeing these ghosts in addition to the other ones, she tells Jay that she needs to go back to the hospital straight away to talk to someone about these “hallucinations”. Before leaving, however, the ghosts beg for her to tell Jay to turn off the red valve which she does, albeit not fully understanding why. When she gets there, she meets a “doctor” who confirms that her head injury brought on the ability to see ghosts as she can see him. As it turns out this man was a doctor during his lifetime but presently resides in the hospital as a ghost. She also sees three more ghosts on the way home and is convinced that if she were experiencing hallucinations, she’d see the Same ghosts from the house everywhere she went. She concludes that she simply has these powers now, that she is not crazy, and accepts this gift as a part of her new reality. When she returns home, she confronts the ghosts and establishes boundaries. She asks each ghost what they want in return for respecting her space and privacy. And thus begins her relationship with 8 very unique spirits from very different parts of history.
In “Attic Girl,” we learn that Sam had a deep interest in all things French culture. During high school, she had a French pen pal named Pierre LaCroix. He told her that he would be coming to America and wanted to take her to her Prom. However, on Prom night, no one showed and she finds out that her “penpal” was actually a mean girl in her class who played a terrible prank on her. They then drove by her house, and threw baguettes at her. Sam’s encounter with Stephanie, the teenage ghost who dwells in the attic, reminds her of this horrible memory from her own teenage years as Stephanie used this story to make a prank on her, using Alberta to deliver french baguettes to Sam via Amazon Echo (Alexa).
In the season two premiere, “Spies”, Sam and Jay are expecting their first guests since the accident from the season one finale. She admits that she is nervous, telling the Ghosts that she really wants to ensure that these new guests have a much better experience than the previous ones. As such, she and Jay ask the Ghosts to stay out of the guests’ way and to avoid using their powers. This does not bode well for the Ghosts as they find spying on livings one of the only sources of entertainment in their afterlives.
Upon the arrival of guests, Debbie and Tom, Sam greets them cheerfully and she and Jay offer them a signature cocktail. This gesture impresses the guests and she remarks that these personal touches are what sets them apart from other bed and breakfasts. Initially, she feels positive with how the initial interaction between her and Jay and Debbie and Tom went, but Pete is wary, suggesting that even though they might come across as polite, they may be very hard to please. This warning prompts her and Jay to do research on the couple where they come across a plethora of negative reviews they’ve left on Yelp. While Jay suggests that they just do their best to appease Debbie and Tom (since they did leave a few positive reviews), Alberta suggests that the ghosts could spy on the couple to see what they are really saying behind closed doors. Sam thinks that it might not be such a bad idea for the ghosts to spy on the guests since it could help her and Jay earn a high review. However, Jay believes it’s unethical and creepy, and states that with good customer service, they can meet the high expectations set before them. Sam then agrees, to Jay’s face, that no one will spy on the couple, but once he leaves the room, she agrees to the ghosts’ plan to spy.
When Sam makes her initial check on Tom and Debbie, she learns from the Ghosts that they are not pleased with the sheets, towels, and toilet paper in the room. When she asks them if they’d like for her to change what she says to be the summer sheets, they tell her that everything is fine. However, Sam insists that she change them and proceeds to try to amend the guests’ complaints. She later finds out that Tom and Debbie did not like Jay’s chocolate chip cookies she brought to them earlier and that they think that she is too chatty. During dinner, she also finds out that they think she tends to hover, that her voice is too high, that she slouches too much, and that the pattern on her grandmother’s butter dish resembles something Satanic. This newfound criticism of her makes Sam uneasy and anxious, causing her to overextend herself in a failing effort to please these people.
Business is picking up for Sam and Jay’s B&B! By “Jay’s Friends”, Sam has become very knowledaable about the area surrounding her home and is effortlessly able to assisst customers in finding their way around common attractions and advising on how to safely explore the Hudson Valley. Thus far, her and Jay’s business has only attracted a small, specific customer base, such as nature enthusiasts and antiquers and she is motivated to find a way to expand their clientele. When Jay comes back from his pick up basketball game and mentions that he met some people who he then invited over to watch the basketball game, Sam is excited that Jay put himself out there and made some friends. She then acknwoledges to the ghosts that the move from the city has been difficult on Jay since he left an entire life behind. And unlike her, who have the ghosts to communicate with, Jay has been on his own.
The next day, when Jay is entertaining his new friends, and after Trevor has warned Sam about Jay possibly being seduced into a pyramid scheme, Sam, at the behest of Hetty, approaches the group to inquire about the company or business to which they belong. She notices the patches on their arms, and asks about them. When told that they consist of an essntial blend of vitamins, she pushes further to inquire if any of that is based on science, to which they respond that the recipe came to their leader, Micah, in a dream. Flower then exclaims that these people belong to a cult, rather than a pyramid scheme, which greatly alarms Sam. She is frustrated at the fact that as soon as Jay makes some friends, they turn out to to be in a cult. She is worried about her husband getting hurt since there are not alot of people their age in their town, and it seemed that he was really excited about finally meeting some new people with similar interests. As Jay is telling Sam about how incredible Micah is, she tells him without hesitation that his new friends are in a cult and that Micah is the cult leader. She explains that Flower made this observation, having recognized all the signs. When Jay says that Micah is helping them out in giving them ten boxes of patches for free, she further warns him that he does not want to be in business with him. Of course, she is skeptical of whether the patches really work and is shocked when Jay reveals that he is wearing one.
A supportive wife, Sam responds calmly to Jay after he finally figures out that she was right and that Micah is in charge of a cult. She reasons that they will find a way to get him and his followers to leave the house. As they enter the foyer, she and Jay find Micah and his followers moving into the house. When she asks him to leave, Micah refuses, pointing out that Jay signed a contract upon accepting the patches which gave them full access to the house. Sam’s threat to cops unless they leave is rebuffed, stating that they have a signed contract. This prompts Sam to call their lawyer who tells them that they are in the right, and the contract will never hold up. However, it will take months and thousands of dollars in legal fees to evict them. Flower, wanting to help, suggests that Sam should sleep with Micah because an outsider sleeping with the leader will undoubtely and quickly break up a cult. Of course, Sam refuses. She does, however, agree with Issac when he suggests talking to them; that surely they should listen to reason because they don’t want to engage in a legal fight either. Pete’s sarcastic response disappoints her, to which she responds that she does not like the new Pete.
Sam and Jay approach the cult optimistically hoping that by explaining how tiring, gruesome and expensive a legal fight will be, they’ll be able to convince them to leave before it gets to that point. Their attempts fall flat as Micah doesn’t budge stating months of arbitration is nothing compared to living forever. Sam then attempts to trap him by asking if he knows what it will be like to live forever, hoping that the very notion will prove unattractive. Using the ghosts as back-ups, she explains that everyone will eventually get sick of each other, and that things that used to be beautiful and appreciate, such as sunsets, will also become boring and underwhelming. Sam’s attempts fail and in a desperate move, she shouts that she slept with Micah. This unsettling “revelation” causes a rift among the cult members who then reject Jay’s membership and leave the house for good.
As Sasappis and Pete are talking, Sam walks in with Alberta and Trevor to find Flower siting on the sofa. She tells Flower that they told her about her brother, Robbie, and that she looked him up. She found that he is alive and emailed him under the guise of being a former member of the same cult Flower was in. Sam explains that she told him that Flower’s biggest regret was not making up with him before her death. She then excalims that she’s received a response from him and allows Flower to read her brother’s words out loud.
In “The Tree” Sam discovers that the new neighbors want to cut down centuries old tree that borders her and Jay’s property. Upon hearing this, Sasappis begs Sam to intervene in an effort to save the tree, stating that it is very significant to the Lenape culture. Without doing any addtional research, and going off the words of Sasappis only, Sam chooses to write an op-ed for the Ulster County Review which halts the cutting down of the tree. This attention draws crowds who convene at the tree, protesting its destruction. The crowd also praise Sam, who relishes in the attention. During the protest, a Lenape native man named Bob approaches Sam who tells her that her information is not correct and that the tree does not have the significance to the culture as Sam wrote. Sam then engages in a back and forth with him, suggesting that she knows more than him. Once Sasappis tells her the truth of why the tree is so important to him, she immediately apologizes. Nevertheless, she draws boos and suddenly the crowd moves over to the mansion where they protest her and the Woodstone Mansion, which subsequently loses a number of reservations.
Once Sam learns the seriousness of her mistake and why Sasappis wasn’t completely honest with her, she invites Bob to the site of where the tree once stood. He then explains that the land acknowledgement is a way for her and Jay to acknowledge and pay respect to the Lenape people who once lived and worked on the land on which they are building their home and business. Afterwards, Sam speaks to the ghosts of how important it is that we take care of our land, the same way the Lenape did, for the sake of future generations.
In “Halloween 2: The Ghost of Hetty’s Past” Sam reluctantly agrees to host a last-minute Halloween party after Jay, hoping to impress their “cool” new neighbors, June and Ally, mentioned that they would be hosting an exclusive party. The party, if you could call it that, only yields four other people, including the new neighbors, and the entertainment is pretty dismal. In an effort to create some excitement, Sam and Jay decide to do a seance, at the suggestion of Hetty, which inadvertently brings back the spirit of Molly, Hetty’s former maid in life. In trying to send her back, they discover that to do so successfully, they need to retrieve the feather duster that Molly has on her in death, from Ally who received the actual feather duster from Jay to compliment her costume.
Upon seeing how upset Hetty is that Molly was not only back, but that she was able to get to Heaven, Sam, suggests to Hetty that this might be an opportunity for her to forgive her and find closure so that maybe she too can move on. Of course, Hetty scoffs at the idea. However, Sam doesn’t give the idea up. After Flower suggests that Sam could put them both in a time-out situation so that they can hash out their differences, she decides to put Molly and Hetty into the only room in the house that neither one of them can break through- the vault. After Sam asks Hetty to help her find a lost earring, she leads her to the vault. Both Hetty and Molly are shocked to find the other in the space and Sam confesses that there was no lost earring; that she just wants them to work things out. But as she is speaking, Flower mistakenly closes the door on Sam and the ghosts, putting her in grave danger. Sam begins to freak out, fearing that she could die in the vault if help does not come soon. She is not able to get cell service in the vault, leaving it up to the other ghosts in the house to do all they can to bring Jay home and get him to the vault to save his wife. Despite trying to save her breaths, for fear that death could soon come for her like it did her fourth great grandfather, Elias, Sam explains to Hetty that because Elias was in a position of power over Molly, he was able to exert his will over her. Sam also explains that because Hetty was forced into a unwanted marriage with Elias, both women were victims of his, and that they lived at a time when the patriarchy ruled and women were always to blame when it cames to the sins of man.
Once Sam is released from the vault, she sits down with Jay, fethaer duster in hand, and calls upon the spirit world, sending Molly back to Heaven.
While in high school, Sam was a member of drama club, but was only given the opportunity to build sets as opposed to acting on stage.
Like her husband a year prior, Sam falls victim to ghost possession when attempting to fix a light in the living room. She falls off the ladder, and into the spiritual body of Thor, who has expressed his deep dislike for the Christmas season. Initially, she wishes to be rid of him and plans to drive through the “ghost barrier” outside of the home to do so. However, she decides to keep him for a while to help him learn to appreciate the holiday season and how wonderful it can be.
By “The Perfect Assistant” Sam and Jay’s B&B is doing well and as a result, they are in need of an assistant to help run daily operations. They decide to hire a pleasant, outgoing food delivery man named Freddie who is looking to one day open his own bed and breakfast and states that he wants to learn from the best before he does so. She is so impressed by his interview that she hires him on the spot. He further impresses both her and Jay in his ability to streamline their systems so that administrative tasks are much easier to manage. However, he comes with his own baggage in the form of a modern-day ghost named Jessica. Initially, she claims that Freddie killed her, prompting the ghosts to convince her to fire him. However, once she learns that the ghost was lying, she and Jay go to extreme lengths, by ordering multiple burritos in hopes that they will see him again for the chance to rehire him.
When Freddie tells Sam and Jay that they may have ghosts in their home, they vehemently deny it. Sam continues to laugh off Freddie’s suspicions, even when faced with proof like the computer keys moving on their own, and his claim of singing being heard at random times throughout the corridor. After Thor and Flower get caught in Freddie’s ghost trap, Sam frantically tries to do what she can to help release him. She asks Freddie what she should do to help a ghost get trapped without eluding to the fact that she actually does have ghosts. Freddie then tells her, on the advice of customer service, that she should hold the side button for three seconds to help release the ghosts. However, once she does this, a red button lights up in addition to something in Latvian that translates to “Countdown to Evisceration.” Both Sam and Jay are alarmed that they may lose Flower and Thor forever.
In the same episode “Ghost Hunter” Sam also agrees to buy back Freddie’s car after learning that he had sold it for something newer and wanting to help Sasappis get his girlfriend, Jessica, back.
In “Trevor’s Body” Sam and Jay discover some of Trevor’s remains while Jay is fishing with two guests. It is assumed that Sam then calls Trevor’s parents and while talking to them, Sam learns that they got divorced after their son died. Trevor is despondent at this news, and despite Sam trying to empathize with him, revealing that it was hard for her when her parents divorced. Still feeling a bit of loss from that experience, she excitedly co-signs Trevor’s idea to host a memorial for him so that his parents can stay at the B&B for the weekend, and that they “Parent Trap” them back into love so that they can get back together.
Following his guidance, Sam creates romantic experiences for them including serving them the same dish they had each year on their anniversary, playing the song they used to sing together as a family, and even suggesting the movie that Trevor knows his mother finds as “sensual.” After Trevor informs Sam that he thinks his father blew it with his mom, taking a phone call at the most inopportune time, Sam then devises a plan based on The Parent Trap. In it, she proposes that Trevor get his parents to meet together at the same place by him sneaking into his mom’s room to text his father to come over. The scheme works until Tara Reid, sent by Trevor’s brother, reveals that his father slipped one of his business cards to her which greatly upsets Esther. She tries her best to play devil’s advocate, telling his parents that Trevor could very well still be around and that because she blamed herself for her parents’ divorce, that perhaps he might blame himself too. It is quite clear at this point, that Sam’s helping Trevor get his parents back together was also her attempt to make up for not being able to fix her parents’ relationship.
While listening to Trevor’s parents explain why they got divorced, she realizes that the divorce wasn’t her fault and that she should stop blaming herself after all these years.
She worries that like her parents, she and Jay might grow apart. She seeks his reassurance that they have a strong bond and will work through whatever life throws at them. His confidence and strength keeps her anxiety in check.
In “A Date to Remember” Sam agrees to help Thorfinn put on the most romantic date. However, when he needs to re-do the date to help Flower “remember” what happened, she decides to postpone her and Jay’s much-needed Valentine’s dinner date night to do so. When she asks Jay to cook a four-course dinner meal for the ghosts to smell instead of celebrating Valentine’s Day with his wife, he tells her that she has got to learn to say no to the ghosts, at least once in a while. After helping Thor out twice in creating, and then re-creating the perfect date, Sam learns that Flower didn’t forget the first date after all, and upon hearing that she wanted the date to not go well, she confronts Flower, telling her that Thor is devastated and that she is annoyed that she had to cancel two Valentine’s dates with Jay. After Flower confesses that she is afraid that falling in love won’t be a good thing for her, Sam listens compassionately as Flower tells her about her time with her former beau, Michael. She thanks her for opening up to her, but suggests that she should tell Thor as well.
Finally, six days after Valentine’s Day, Sam and Jay get to have their date night. She apologizes to Jay for getting them blacklisted from his favorite resaturaunt for canceling twice in a week. She amidst that Jay was right and that she needs to say no to the Ghosts more consistently.
In “Issac’s Book” Sam has finally finished her biography on Issac Higgentoot and is trying to sell her idea for it to get published. Every publisher immediately passes and she all but gives up on getting his story out there. Later, when coming to help her husband deal with a reservation on a system he does not yet understand, she sees that her guest is a former journalism school classmate, Isabel. She didn’t realize that she was coming since she didn’t recognize her name fron the reservation. Upon hearing that Isabel is married and is in town to work on a big writing assignment, Sam immediately hugs her own husband and attempts to empathize with how challenging writing can be. She says that while she does own and operate the B&B with her husband, she is still an active journalist and writer. When Isabel continues to press about her experiences and accomplishments, she mentions that she has had some writings published in the local magazine, although the one piece that got her in trouble came from “an unreliable source.” She immediately changes the subject and tells Isabel how happy they are that she is saying with them.
When folding Isabel’s laundry, Sam gets a text that the final publisher who would even take a meeting to discuss Issac’s book is also passing. She feels awful for Issac and is encouraged by Jay to just tell him quickly and get it over with. However, when she goes to tell Issac, and seeing how nervous he is as he believes this is his only chance to save his legacy, Sam panics and lies, telling him that the publisher wants to publish it. The Ghosts believe that this news should be celebrate and decide to surprise Sam by putting this news on Facebook. When she finds out, she believes it’s important to stick with the lie, telling herself and Jay that it’s important that Issac does not get hurt. However, a large part of her feels proud once she receives external validation from friends and family.
Happy with her new-found literary “success” she relishes in Isabel’s jealousy, encouraging her to keep trying so that she too can get published. But it is not long-lived, when pressed about who the publisher is, Sam names the first one she can think of which Isabel just so happens to have a contact at. When she says she is going to text him regarding Sam’s book, Sam freaks out and admits that no one is publishing the book. Of course, Isaac is present and is deeply upset by Sam’s lie and betrayal. When Sam goes to speak with Isaac, the two realize that they don’t need external validation to make themselves feel important; that they are enough because the most important people know who they are. And if timing couldn’t be any more perfect, it is at this moment that Sam gets the news that Isaac’s book is being published after all.
In “Weekend from Hell” Sam wants Jay to feel as though he is a part of the extended Ghost family and invites him to read Laura’s family newsletter aloud. While he is reading the newsletter, Sam is shocked to find that a portal from Hell opens in the floor and her great great great grand uncle Elias has returned. While Elias is soliciting forgiveness in the other room, Sam finds out that Jay made an entire meal for guests while under the influence of Flower. The guest comes in to praise Jay for his cooking and states that she is friends with a famous chef who wants to come and try the very same meal. Of course, Jay has no recollection of this, and Sam, knowing what a big opporruntiy this will be for their business assists him in trying to pieve everything together. She tries to get Sass, Trevor, and Flower to tell her what he did, but they are no help.
Sam then announces to the other Ghosts, specifically to Pete, that she received another family newsletter from his daughter and announces that his grandson was in an accident. Then after Elias tells him that he can save his grandson if he were to sell his soul to the Devil, and Pete agrees, Sam recognizes that Elias isn’t being sincere, and despite her trying to interfere, Pete shakes Elias’ hand. After the deal is done, she learn that Pete can earn his soul back if Hetty signs Elias’ forgiveness contract. She joins the other Ghosts in trying to convince Hetty to go along with it so that Pete’s soul can be saved.
Sam is initially against the idea that Jay should walk through Flower again so that he can recreate a recipe that impressed a guest and that the famous chef coming to try it will enjoy. After Sass tells her that it could be good for business, and Flower agrees to be a muse for Jay, she reluctantly agrees, asking him to be safe and asking the Ghosts to keep an eye on him for her.
Back with the Ghosts, she watches as Hetty finally is able to forgive Elias. And after Elias is saved and declares war on the household, Sam threatens him that should he get in the way of her business, she will have Thorfinn throw him back into the vault.
When she goes back into the kitchen, Sam finds her husband attempting to chase Flower to “get another hit.” She sees how nervous he is about wanting to impress the Menu Hunter and doubting his abilities, she reassures him that he doesn’t need Flower because he is a great chef all on his own.
In “Alberta’s Descendant” Sam meets the great grand niece of Alberta Haynes, Alicia Walker who she learns comes to the Woodstone B&B because of her podcast. She is then charaged with the duty of asking Alicia questions regarding her life, both personal and professional at the behest of Alberta who is “dying” to know more about her living kin. As she and Jay are listening to the stories that Alicia tells her about Alberta, Jay suggests that Sam should have her on the podcast, to which Sam agrees.
When Sam introduces Alicia to Todd, she is surprised to learn how quickly the two bond, and that Alicia is into him. After Alberta frantically tells her about a date the two have planned for that evening, and Pete explains to her that she’s normalize a wacky guy, Sam realizes that perhaps this possible pairing could be on her hands. Alberta implores her to fix this situation so that she can protect Alicia. The Ghosts suggest that she simply just tells Alicia all the weird habits that she knows about Todd. She is not sold, as she believes it feels wrong. But when Alberta asks her once again to help, and to do it for her, since she never got a chance to have children of her own, Sam agrees to help.
When Alicia and Todd meet for dinner and are talking, Sam interjects just about every statement Todd makes by revealing a weird quirk about him that slowly turns Alicia off to him. Later, when preparing to record a podcast episode, Sam, at Alberta’s request, asks Alicia how sure she is about pursuing a music career. She learns that Alicia does sing with a wedding band on the weekend, and upon hearing her sing “Someone to Watch Over Me,” with Alberta singing along, she’s amazed by her talent and agrees to allow her to sing on their podcast. As the podcast begins, Sam learns that Alberta’s sister dated Earl after her death- the same Earl to whom the letter found in the way, signed from a “T” was written.
In “Ghost Father of the Bride”, Sam and Jay, after hearing that Pete’s daughter is getting married, and after Pete asks them to host the wedding, they reach out to Pete’s family to offer their home as a free location. They explain to them they are trying to establish themselves as a wedding venue, and that they just want pictures for their website. When Sam reaches out to Pete’s widow, Carol, their offer is initially rejected. Ready to abandon the idea, without any other course of action to take, Pete admits that the deck he built is not permitted and convinces Sam to anonymously report it. The plan works, and Sam and Jay welcome Carol to their home to plan Laura’s wedding. As per usual, Sam acts as a liaison between the Livings and the Ghosts, as she speaks for Pete is making the arrangements. However, she finds herself in an uncompromising space when everything she suggests, on behalf of Pete, is turned down cold by Carol.
Facing Pete’s frustration, especially about Carol turning down the lilies, Sam asks him why those specific flowers are so important to him. She then listens to a story in which Pete’s daughter exclaims how lilies are the most beautiful flowers ever. After she states that that story would mean so much more coming from him, Jay suggests that they “make” it come from them by adding that small detail to Pete’s book that his grandson is obsessed with. When she and Jay sit down with Carol and give her Pete’s old scout manual with the new addition, Sam front that she must’ve have internalized lilies since she must’ve have read that in his manual. Her and Jay are then pleased that Carol agrees to using lilies in the wedding, stating that it would be a nice way to honor Pete.
This win does not last long, however. When Laura and little Pete join Carol, and when Carol asks her if she knew that her father loved lilies, Laura is confused, stating she doesn’t recall him ever mentioning lilies. Little Pete then notices that the writing in the book is newer because he has never seen it before and he knows the book by heart. Carol then realizes that the writing is different and accuses Sam and Jay of forging this note so that they could use lilies for their website pictures. Angry that they defaced a family heirloom, Carol decides to move Laura’s wedding to another venue, and Laura agrees, adding that it all feels a little weird for her.
Sam feels horrible about everything that happened during the wedding planning.
After hearing that she is being taken off the newsletter emails, and seeing how hurt Pete is, she admits (although it never being the case) that she did get carried away with wanting lilies for her website and should’ve cared more about what the family wanted. She then inadvertently says that she went a little kook-a-luka, a term she heard Pete say a few days prior. This stops Laura in her tracks. She asks Sam how she knows that word. She then states that she’s only ever heard her dad use that word. And as Carol attempts to leave with little Pete, Laura states that she wants to have her wedding at the mansion afterall, as she feels her father’s presence.
In “Woodstone’s Hottest Couple” Sam discovers that Jay went to New York City to interview for a head chef position at his old restaurant, while also learning that Jay hides sneakers at their house for their friend and contractor, Mark. Sam is concerned that Jay feels he needs to hide things from her and is disappointed that he lied to her about why he was in the city to begin with. She then learns that Jay is having a harder time adjusting to living in the country than she believed and because he is feeling very out of the loop with things happening in his own house, in addition to missing the city and his old life, Sam proposes that they turn an old barn on the property to a restaurant that Jay can run on his own.
In “Whodunnit” Sam learns that she merely has one more day to solve Alberta’s murder and wrap up the podcast when the new editor of the Ulster County Review informs her that they are canceling it. Later, Sam is with Jay and some of the Ghosts, including Alberta, as they talk through all the clues they’ve been able to gather thus far in hopes of solving Alberta’s murder. When all clues seem to point toward Alberta’s sister, she gets prematurely excited at the prospect of possibly writing a movie about this mystery, at the chagrin of Alberta. When they realize that the poison used to kill Alberta was rat poison which was kept in the basement, Sam suggests that they ask the Ghosts there for any possible information that would help them solve the case. She learns from the ghosts that it was Al Capone who was in the basement looking for, and retrieved, the rat poison which leads her to conclude that the murderer must have been him. However, her conclusion is proved immature when Nigel informs the group that while Al Capone did have a bottle of rat poison in his possession, he was meant for himself, not Alberta. When Nigel points to the woman who took the bottle away from her- which just so happens to be Theresa, Alberta’s sister- Sam feels awful for the pain that Alberta feels realizing that her family was responsible for her death.
Sam then learns of her family’s ties to Alberta’s murder when Hetty finally admits that after almost 100 years of keeping it secret, it was her son and Sam’s third great uncle Thomas, who actually killed Alberta. He had been given the bottle of poisoned moonshine by Theresa and instead of getting rid of it, he decided to place it in front of Alberta’s door hoping that she would drink it and die. Sam also learns that Thomas was in a secret relationship with Earl, Alberta’s boyfriend, and that he believed that in getting rid of Alberta, he and Earl could finally be together.
After she solves Alberta’s murder, she discovers that Pete, Flower, and Trevor sent a scammer $1000 of her and Jay’s money. She comes off as furious initially, but then after Pete, Trevor, and Flower show remorse for their choices, she lets them know that she was able to cancel the transfer after receiving a fraud alert an hour prior. She then shows empathy toward them as she states that alot of people fall for computer scams, and that usually they are older people- to which these three Ghosts fit the bill being that they are technically 55 (Trevor), 78 (Pete), and roughly in her 70s/80s (Flower).
In Season 2’s finale, “The Heir“, Sam has received her advance for Isaac’s book in the amount of $20,000. She also learns that she potentially has a long lost relative who believes to be the proper heiress to the Woodstone Mansion. Claiming to be the illegitimate daughter of David Woodstone, son of Sam’s great aunt, Kelsey Foster, shows up one day to the B&B. Initially, Sam is excited to meet a family member, since she has very little. She offers to allow Kelsey to stay in an effort to get to know her better. But soon she realizes that she might have inherited the property by mistake since Kelsey would be next in line to own the home.
Scared of losing their home, Sam and Jay contact the Woodstone family lawyer who agrees that if Kelsey is telling the truth, then she has a claim to the house. Their lawyer says he will order a DNA test to show who the proper heiress is. When the results show that Kesley is the legitimate heir to the Woodstone estate, Sam’s heart is broken, realizing her dreams have been dashed, the cousin she finally gets is taking the house from her, and that suddenly she and Jay are facing homelessness. When Jay infroms her that Kelsey is willing to pay a settlement to avoid going to court, he also reveals that David met Kelsey’s mother at a strip club named “Scores.” Upon hearing this, Trevor states that David wouldn’t have been there because he was banned in the early 90s, before Kelsey was born. And knowing that the only way to corroborate Trevor’s story, Jay and Sam decide to talk to the ghost of David Woodstone himself.
Upon meeting David’s ghost at the strip club where in died in Upstate NY, Sam learns that David’s been sterile since 1993 due to a bet he made with Ari, friend of him and Trevor. Since Kelsey was born in 1997, he states that she can’t be his daughter. When Sam and Jay confront Kelsey and their lawyer with evidence that David was sterile, they discover that the claim was a lie. Turns out that the lawyer was contacted by a major hotel chain with an offer to buy the mansion for over market value and due to a gambling addiction, was trying to pay off some debts. Sam and Jay kick them out of their home and, after treating Jay for a very upset stomach, Sam witnesses one of the ghosts “get sucked off.” She just doesn’t know who it is… yet.
Season 3 picks up right where Season 2 left off. In “The Owl“, after rushing into the house with Jay, she soon learns that Flower was the Ghost who had moved on. Sam struggles with this throughout much of the episode, so much so that when Thor believes that Flower’s spirit has moved into the body of a barn owl, part of her believes it too, explaining to Jay, who wants to relocate the owl to allow the construction team to continue working on the barn. That perhaps they allow Thor to take his time and grieve the loss of Flower in whatever way he sees fit. When Jay puts his foot down, explaining that people stuff has to sometimes come before Ghost stuff, and after Thor threatens to burn the barn to the ground if he does not get his way, Sam agrees to allow Thor to keep the bird inside the home. However, after guests complain of the noise emanating from Thor’s room and demand refunds, and after Jay talks to her, Sam convinces Thor to set the owl free.
During Flower’s impromptu memorial service, Sam explains that it is hard for her to say goodbye to those she loves and that although she has had some experience with loss, telling the ghosts around her, and the audience, to cherish the special people in our lives because they will not be here forever.
When Sam finds out in “Man of Your Dreams” that Sasappis is able to enter both Living’s and Ghost’s dreams and directly influence their decision-making, Sam at first is disappointed that he would manipulate her husband in such a way. However, when she learns that she may be able to indirectly win a fight over where to put the new television via Sasappis, she does not object when Sass offers to intervene on her behalf.
In “He Sees Dead People“, when Sam’s flight for her friend’s Bachelorette party gets canceled, she returns home to the news that Bela’s new beau, Eric, can now see Ghosts, thanks to the near death experience he had at Christmas time. This however is not true, and learns that Eric created this lie when he felt Bela getting bored with him. This puts Sam and Jay in a bind since they don’t like what he did but feel he is good for Bela. She agrees to help stage an accident in which Eric will suddenly lose his “powers” so that Bela will still agree to keep seeing him. This plan backfires when Bela finds out that Eric has been lying the entire time and wants to end the relationship, stating that relationships shouldn’t start off with a lie. Sam politely disagrees, saying that her and Jay’s relationship may have started off with one. As it turns out, contrary to her telling Jay that his favorite coffee spot was hers too, she was actually returning to the same one day after day after meeting him once there. She was also living in New Jersey and not NYC as she had told him.
In “The Guest Who Wouldn’t Leave” Sam and Jay, desperate to appear cool and to make up for last year’s horrendous Halloween party, host a larger gathering this year to celebrate the holiday, inviting the “who of who’s” of Hudson Valley locals. In an email mix-up, thanks to Trevor, Sam accidently invites Carol, Pete’s widow. They also invite popular couple Nico and Sasha, music manager and stylist to the stars, who not only agree to attend the party but also decide to stay for the weekend. Sam and Jay are excited at the prospect of the power couple buying a property in the area so they set up to ensure their stay is as perfect as they can make it. Simultaneously, Sam also hosts a seance as promised to Thor so that he, and the rest of the Ghosts can bring back Flower. When they fail initially, it is suggested that maybe Sam needs to find an object that Flower had on her when she passed, which then Sam asks Jay to do for her.
During the party, Sam makes Nico and Sasha a priority. unbeknownst to her, Carol, who died after choking on a donut hole, is now a Ghost confined to the property and because she doesn’t know it, she is seen talking to her by several guests, especially Nico and Sasha. When the Ghosts try to warn her about Carol, Sam shuns them, stating that talking to them during the party will make her look crazy. However, she has been talking to a ghost the entire time and after finally finding out the truth about Carol, she blames the ghosts for not telling her and making her look bad in front of Nico and Sasha. She is hurt by the Ghosts, believing that they think that all she is good for is doing things for them. After the Ghosts, namely Hetty and Alberta explain their reasoning for their behavior, Sam apologizes for her response to them and admits that she can learn some things from them and their experiences.
In “The Silent Partner”, Sam and Jay find themselves in a financial bind after their primary investor for Jay’s restaurant pulls out after two dead bodies are found on the property (Carol and Trevor). After sitting down to talk to Mark about their lack of funds for the project to which Mark replies that this is going to put them behind and if they don’t come up with at least 10 grand, there will be no restaurant. Sam is caught between Isaac, to whom she’s promised $10,000 of her book advance and her husband who wants to use what he believes is their money to help in the creation of his dream restaurant. She proposes to Isaac that they make him a partner in their restaurant, suggesting that it would help him fulfill his dream of owning a restaurant as well as allowing Jay to continue to pursue his dream. She does what she can to act as a mediator between Jay and Isaac, ensuring they both get what they want. However, when Jay has had enough and refuses to give into Isaac’s outdated suggestions, Sam finds herself on the outs with Isaac who then refuses to give them “his money.” seeing how hurt Issac is by Jay’s attitude, Sam sides with Isaac explaining to Jay that all he seems to care about as of late is his restaurant and that there are other people in the house that they must also consider. Furthermore, Sam has been asking Jay to read a draft of her book, something that he has been putting off. She hopes,and is correct in assuming, that once he reads about Isaac’s life, he’ll be more inclined to allow Isaac to have some say in the restaurant that he is “helping to finance.”
In “Hello, Brother,” after being “scammed” by Trevor’s brother, Jeremy, who is planning on staying at the Woodstone Mansion for a year using Woodstone Points that he acquired dishonestly, Sam and Jay conspire to make things as miserable for him in hopes that the horrible treatment will force him to leave. When Jay comes up with an idea to play Jeremy in a game of “Super Mega Bowl” for all the marbles, Sam agrees to help him cheat using the ghosts.
In “Holes are Bad” Sam and Jay decide to take a weekend getaway. While they are gone, the Ghosts learn that Flower is still a Ghost but is stuck in a well… a well they had planned to fill feeling as though it is a hazard. When the Ghosts try to facetime Sam via Mark’s phone (who’s there to start filling in the well with his crew) they discover that they do not show up on Facetime, nor can they be heard via telephone. And because she is not able to see or hear their pleas for her to stop Mark from filling the well, she and Jay stick with their original plan.
Upon returning from their weekend away, Sam finds Flower very much “alive” and is glad to have her back at the mansion.
Sam’s parents, Frank and Sheryl divorced when she was ten and at the behest of her mother, Sam did not see her father much after that. When she did visit with him, she was known to act unkindly toward whatever woman he was seeing at the time. One time, in particular, when she was 11 or 12, she cut the hair of her father’s girlfriend. But instead of admitting to the deed, she claimed a ghost did it. At the time of his most recent visit, she still holds a bit of resentment toward him. However after she learned the truth about his absence during her childhood, she was resolved to work on their relationship.
Since Sam’s father is still alive, it can be assumed that her connection to the Woodstones is through her mother, Sheryl.
In “Halloween 4: The Witch,” Jay requests that they do not celebrate Halloween this year, citing the unfortunate events that have occurred on the Halloween since they moved into the mansion. This disappoints Sam, citing that she loves Halloween and thinks Jay is overrated. While she does respect his wishes, she still dresses up for the holiday as a “Bridgerton” themed character. Unbeknownst to her, her costume closely resembles a statue that Hetty had bought during her lifetime and because Patience believes that Sam is a witch, she holds a witch trial in which she declares Sam guilty of witchcraft. She announces that her punishment shall be a stoning. When the other ghost see the statue, they fear that Sam has really been turned into a statue. However, they come to find out that Sam had just been helping the Farnsbys move some objects to their house that they had bought from Sam and Jay.
In high school, Sam attempted to audition for a lead role in “Anything Goes” but before she could do anything, she vomited and her embarrassment from that caused her to join the tech crew. In “A Star is Dead,” Alberta encourages her to audition for the lead role of “Anything Goes” which is being put on by the Hudson Valley Players at the mansion. She eventually trusts Alberta to train her, and her confidence increases. But when she finds out that Alberta asked Flower to walk through her competition, Marisa, in hopes of securing the part for Sam, Sam gets upset and dismayed that Alberta didn’t believe that she could do it on her own.
Appearance
Sam rocks the look of a typical woman in their late 20s or early 30s. As one of the only two living people in the house, she has the freedom to wear different clothes on each day of the week. Most days she is dressed casually, usually wearing jeans, overalls, or a skirt and a tee-shirt, blouse, or sweater. She wears her slightly wavy blonde hair short and out, which stops at her shoulders. She has bright blue eyes and stands about 5’4.
Trivia
- Sam is the American version of Allison Cooper from the BBC ‘Ghosts‘, a descendent of one of the ghosts who inherits the house as the only living relative with rights to the property. Unlike Alison who didn’t know she had these ancestors, Sam had actually visited the property as a young girl and had met her great aunt Sophie from whom she inherited the home.
- Sam is portrayed by Rose McIver, the only non-American actor in the main cast. She is from New Zealand and speaks with a general American accent to become Samantha.
- Sam and Allison (the BBC counterpart) both come into owning their respective large homes as the sole heir to the estate. Whereas we don’t know what Allison did for a living prior to coming into owning Button House, Sam already had a career as a writer prior to learning about her inheritance.
Quotes
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- “Great Aunt Sophie… I think I met her when I was a kid but I, I thought she died years ago.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
- “Well it’s just we don’t know the facts yet. Obviously, yes we’re probably going to sell. He thinks I’m a little impulsive.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
- “(Gasp!) What if WE opened a bed and breakfast!... Aren’t you sick of the city? We work insane hours to live in a shoebox that we can barely afford and somebody’s offering us a mansion!... You’re a chef that’s like half of the B’s right there. Plus, I can write freelance articles from anywhere so we can have income while we’re getting up and running. That’s an annoying strong argument, you have to admit it.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
- “Beats the hell out of our fifth floor walk up, huh!?...This air is so clean and that guy at the gas station in town… what was his name, Carl? He was folksy right?” (Season 1, Episode 1)
- “Babe, this is old house 101. You light this stuff and it wards off evil spirits.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
- “Jay, we have a library!” (Season 1, Episode 1)
- “Apparently my ancestors who lived here were actual robber barons, like cartoon evil, slept on a bed of gold types.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
- “It could use a little TLC but we can fix it up!” (Season 1, Episode 1)
- “Okay, gun to your head… canary yellow or lavender mist?” (Season 1, Episode 1)
- “Not sure, but it makes me feel like Joanna Gaines and I’m not mad at that. You wanna be my Chip, big boy?” (Season 1, Episode 1)
- “Jay, I love you. But you know you get a bit scared of change but it’s okay to try something different.. I don’t know what it is but I… I feel a connection to this place. I could see a future here, us raising a family.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
- “So that’s it! We just do what you want?... Fine! But you know what, Jay? Sometimes you gotta just do something a little bold, you know, put some canary yellow up and get out of your neutral palette mindset.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
- “I hope you were this upset when I was technically dead for 3 minutes.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
- “Oh! You’re dressed kind of nice for a construction worker.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
- “Jay, they’re back. I woke up and one was in the bathroom… I ran into the door when I tried to attack him with a toilet brush… it was the only thing handy. Please don’t make fun of me. I really saw one!” (Season 1, Episode 2)
- “There’s a hippie and a viking and a guy dressed like Hamilton… one of them is not wearing any pants.” (Season 1, Episode 2)
- “Shut up! (To Thor) (sings) “about that sports package, Steve! (says) What a deal!” (Season 1, Episode 2)
- “You are a strong, sane woman. You are a strong, sane woman!” (Season 1, Episode 2)
- “We’ve already sunk all our money into this place. Plus I see dead people wherever I go, so leaving doesn’t even help me… It seems like we’re stuck with each other but it is not going to go on like this with all of you up in my face all of the time. So what is it gonna take for you to leave me alone, huh? What do you want?” (Season 1, Episode 2)
- “Guys! I get that it’s cool that you have access to a living now but you cannot just bombard me with questions all day so why don’t you choose a representative, and that person, and that person only, can come to me with requests.” (Season 1, Episode 3)
- (Copying Thorfinn) “Well actually, Vikings sailed down the coast from lands north, from Canada… to search for furs, beavers, otters, moose. And when you find moose, much plenty you shall have!” (Season 1, Episode 3)
- “No, we’re not even that cool! I mean Jay, he plays with action figures.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
- “So I’m thinking we go full charm offense. We butter them up, and then we re-open the discussion about the B&B.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
- “Well you should want the hotel because no hotel, no me. Who helps you watch TV? Who is writing your memoir? If we can’t build the B&B, we’re gonna have to sell this place. And God knows who would buy it. Certainly not someone who can see you and do things for you and help make your afterlives better. So unless you want to throw all that away, I’m gonna need your help.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
- “There’s no point. They’re not gonna find anything because I now know there’s nothing wrong with me!... That was the living doctor, of course she thinks I’m delusional, she’s not trained for this. But the ghost doctor… if the ghosts were all in my head, I’d be seeing the same ones at the hospital as I do back at the house. But they’re not. I see different ones in different places, like that guy (points to a dead construction worker with a beam through his chest) Hey Bud!... I know it’s not great news, but at least I’m not crazy.” (Season 1, Episode 2)
- It'll be like Newhart… yea I guess you could say I know my favorite show.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
- “(copying Pete) Now something people don’t know is that the show’s opening credits were filmed in New Hampshire even though as we all know, the show took place in rural Vermont.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
- “Oh Jazz, we love jazz. If we had to name my favorite artists (copying Alberta) Sidney Bechet, Fletcher Henderson.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
- “Hey, maybe next time we’ll come to your place for Pickleball…on your home court… where the carriage house used to be.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
- “Oh my God, Wait! Halloween! Ghosts! This is your holiday! You guys must love Halloween!” (Season 1, Episode 5)
- “Well next time, pop on your helmets. Cool kids wear lids!” (Season 1, Episode 5)
- “Fine, I get it! I took you away from all those fun parties and… and then I called that kid’s mommy and now we have no gazebo and it’s all my fault. I’m sorry, Jay.” (Season 1, Episode 5)
- “Shut it, Issac! Tonight was unacceptable. You guys destroyed our property, then lied about it, then tried to get children arrested. You’re no wise council of elders…No TV, one week.” (Season 1, Episode 5)
- “I mean what would I even say? Like, ‘hi, your dead husband lives on my property and wants to look at you?’” (Season 1, Episode 6)
- “I should’ve listened to you from the start and now everybody’s dead, everyone’s slept with their mom, and I’m an idiot.” (Season 1, Episode 6)
- “I would like to say a few words, if that’s okay? I obviously didn’t know Pete like you guys did, but I actually have gotten to know him a little recently through his Pinecone Trooper manual. Pete highlighted passages that I guess must have been important to him. Like this list of seven attributes of a model Pinecone Trooper. A list that included things like loyalty and friendship. But Pete circled and wrote a note next to number 7, forgiveness. He wrote that this is more important than the rest because though we strive for perfection, we all fall short sometimes. And when it happens, we don’t give up on our fellow trooper, we forgive.” (Season 1, Episode 6)
- “Well, I’m trying to come up with article ideas for my meeting at the Ulster County Review tomorrow. This is the kind of serious journalism I’ve always wanted to do and if it goes well, it could turn into a regular gig.” (Season 1, Episode 7)
- “A Robin Hood, hippie bank robbery. That’s amazing! This should be the article I write!... Oh it’s for a local magazine. This is exactly the kind of thing they’d love. Quirky, human interest.” (Season 1, Episode 7)
- “Oh my God. She ghosted him! Ghosting is what people say when you’re dating someone and they just kinda vanish. Who knows what was going on with Shiki 500 years ago. The point is she could be in a completely different headspace now. I think you should reach out. I could pass on the message.” (Season 1, Episode 7)
- “Hey! I gave Shiki the message. It wasn’t easy. The editor was very curious as to why I just showed up with no appointment…. Yes I did, I read the message that you guys workshopped and let me say again, I was not a fan of it. (To Shiki) ‘Sup. Cool you’re still around, Shiki. Would love to hear the haps sometime, maybe.’ That’s it, that’s all he said. And she had a response (reading the text) ‘Hey.’ … Sassapis is freaking out which makes sense because clearly that was terrible advice.” (Season 1, Episode 7)
- “Wait a minute, this is crazy! He’s playing games and as a woman I know you want the truth. The truth is that Sassapis loves you and he’s always loved you and he always will love you and I can’t think of a better person for you to one day hopefully spend eternity with.” (Season 1, Episode 7)
- “It’s your fair trade coffee shop, Flower. Except it’s got like 100 locations. Read this!” (Season 1, Episode 7)
- “Well I have some news. Lewis loved the bank robbery article! And he said Daisy’s Coffee Shop is even cool with it. Apparently the statutes of limitations ran out, and they think it makes them look badass. Best news for last, he wants me to come in next week to pitch more ideas.” (Season 1, Episode 7)
- “Did you guys know there are 3 British soldiers from the Revolutionary War living in our garden shed?” (Season 1, Episode 8)
- “Okay, I hear you, but there’s also a chance that something that seemed so unthinkable all those years ago, might not be a big deal now.” (Season 1, Episode 8)
-
“No, Jay! D&D is not just one of those games that’s done in an hour. It’s a rich, mutli-chapter campaign that could last for months!” (Season 1, Episode 8)
- “Oh sure, I’ll pick some up the next time I’m at the alchemist.” (Season 1, Episode 9)
- “Welcome to the Woodstone Bed and Breakfast!” (Season 1, Episode 9)
- “Well I think it’s gonna be fun. It’s a dry run. This is our chance to prove to ourselves we can do this!” (Season 1, Episode 9)
- “Ugh, those dates are just there to make you throw stuff away and buy more. I wrote a whole article on this. It’s a scam by big chicken… yea so stop acting like one and cook it!” (Season 1, Episode 9)
- “They’re saying the moments you really remember are the ones you spend with the people you love. Look, running the B&B will be hard but at least we get to do it together. Remember when we were back in city, we worked so many hours we barely saw each other.” (Season 1, Episode 9)
- “Babe, this could be huge for us! With all Kenny and Liz’ fancy made-the-cut friends in attendance, it could really land us on the map.” (Season 1, Episode 10)
- “No this isn’t happening! Possession isn’t real. Possession can’t be real.” (Season 1, Episode 10)
- “Question, if you’re unable to get the ghost out of my husband’s body, is there some sort of refund policy or… Hello?” (Season 1, Episode 10)
- “We’re not waiting for any priest. We’re doing this exorcism ourselves.” (Season 1, Episode 10)
- “Hetty, I know you’ve had fun in that body, but Jay and I have a lot riding on today going well. We need this to end, now… Hetty it’s time! I need my husband back. Stop thinking about yourself. Think about Jay.” (Season 1, Episode 10)
- “Oh, we’re going away for the weekend. Everything’s been so crazy since moving here but we finally got a second to breathe so I’m going to Ohio to see if my dead mom is a ghost… It was six years ago. Honestly I’m excited. I never got a chance to say goodbye and now I might get to see her, so that’s amazing.” (Season 1, Episode 11)
- “Pete, you’re a sweet guy, but I’ve only heard her talk about dating bootleggers or mob bosses… I just would hate to see you get hurt and if, for any reason, things went horribly, it could be awkward… like for everyone…for all of eternity. (Season 1, Episode 11)
- “But the last time I saw my mom was when I went home for Thanksgiving and we got into this huge fight because she told me I should give up journalism and apply to law school.” (Season 1, Episode 11)
- “No it worked out. I’m just, I’m also doing the B&B in addition to the journalism thing…I’m freelance… but then this guy who works at the New York Times read it, and he asked me to work there!... Yea, so that is your daughter… full time… at the paper of record.” (Season 1, Episode 11)
- “Not even my lies are good enough for you! Yes, I don’t work for the New York Times. I just said that because I wanted you to admit you were wrong about the whole journalism thing. But apparently nothing I ever do will be good enough for you, Mom!” (Season 1, Episode 11)
- “I mean, here I have this ridiculous second change that nobody in the world ever gets and instead of taking advantage of it, I’m in another fight with her just like the last time we saw each other.” (Season 1, Episode 11)
- “Well, I’m feeling happy for her, obviously, and that I got to say goodbye but I’m sad because it feels like I don’t have a mom… again. You know, she was critical and annoying but there’s something nice about feeling like someone cares that much.” (Season 1, Episode 11)
- “It’s just, you know, I excel in helping girlfriends get over breakups. I really hope she likes the Legally Blonde franchise cause that is gonna be a big part of her next 48 hours.” (Season 1, Episode 12)
- “I thought this could be a chance for she and I to finally bond. Look, I don’t have siblings, so when you and I got married, I thought Bela and I could become sisters, but that hasn’t happened.” (Season 1, Episode 12)
- “I don’t need a nickname but Manhattan Sam Chowder could be something, if you’re looking for one… Manhattan is a soup as well, it’s also where I lived, so… it’s tomato-based.” (Season 1, Episode 12)
- “It was a ghost! Look, I know that this is gonna sound crazy but if it has any chance of salvaging this relationship, I have to come clean. A few months ago, I fell down the stairs, and I went into a coma- thank you for the flowers, by the way. And when I woke up, I could see ghosts. Trevor died in this house 20 years ago… Anyhow, somehow he managed to create a dating profile and the important part of this story is I see ghosts. And besides Jay, you’re the only person I’ve ever told. I know this must be difficult to believe, but I sincerely hope you do.” (Season 1, Episode 12)
- “Jay, I’m doing sister banter!” (Season 1, Episode 12)
- “I know I’ve made fun of her social media, but now that it could help us launch our Bed and Breakfast, we are the ones who are hashtag blessed.” (Season 1, Episode 13)
- “Definitely enough to keep the bank off our backs for a few months. Take that, bank!” (Season 1, Episode 13)
- “It all happened so fast. It was like this red light suddenly and when whoosh!” (Season 1, Episode 13)
- “Pete says ‘good hustle on the backboards’ and he wants to talk about that.” (Season 1, Episode 14)
- “We can’t open the hotel until this website is up and running so we better figure something out.” (Season 1, Episode 14)
- “Thinking is a very important part of writing.” (Season 1, Episode 14)
- “No, it needs to be right. It needs to be perfect. Once this website goes live, that’s it. We are open. There’s no turning back… If this B&B isn’t a success, then I dragged us all the way here and I made us turn our lives upside down for nothing, don’t you get that?” (Season 1, Episode 14)
- “Right, okay so just to recap, the plan is to have me call a therapist, lie about not being able to go outside so that I can secretly translate the problems of a thousand year old viking who by the way doesn’t even want to talk about their problems. So we’ll have to spring all this on him, and hope he agrees? Okay! I guess that’s what we’ll do!” (Season 1, Episode 15)
- (Translating for Thorfinn)“What I’m really concerned about is these night terrors I’ve been having. I would be happy to talk to you about my last dream. Because even though it might be very painful, you won’t be able to help me unless I tell you what I’m going through. (translating for Thorfinn) So I’m in a vast plain with my friend Oskar. He’s Norwegian. It’s pretty cold. I pick up a rock and I smash Oskar’s head. There’s like blood everywhere. I even get some brains up my nose. Oh my God. Now that I think about it, it is pretty similar to the time that I betrayed my best friend, Oskar. Thor come back!” (Season 1, Episode 15)
- “I’m sorry I pressured you into therapy but I do think if you push through and get a little deeper, you might be able to process what happened and move on. Thor, talk to us. Tell us your story. Why did you kill Oskar?” (Season 1, Episode 15)
- “No Thor. You just did what you had to do in a difficult situation. You were just trying to survive. Any one of us would’ve done the same thing.” (Season 1, Episode 15)
- “Jay, I’m fine. I mean when it first happened, I was pretty freaked out but now I’m starting to think, I dunno. Maybe this all happened for a reason. Like maybe I’m supposed to help the ghosts with their problems so they can move on.” (Season 1, Episode 15)
- “Oh remember the vintage watch we took off the corpse of Hetty’s dead robber barren husband?... Well, we finally have a buyer.” (Season 1, Episode 16)
- “And I agree with her. This is the new you, buddy! You talk about things.” (Season 1, Episode 16)
- “David was my uncle. I didn’t really know him but his mom was my great aunt Sophie, who I inherited this place from. I heard he was a good guy though.” (Season 1, Episode 16)
- “Okay, how did you die and why aren’t you wearing any pants?... I was always curious but I didn’t know the etiquette around ghost deaths.” (Season 1, Episode 16)
- “So, uh, you had mentioned that you used to hang out here with my Uncle David. Was there a guy named Trevor Lefkowitz in your crew?” (Season 1, Episode 16)
- “You know, I think it might have been this one time you guys were all up here for Pinkus’ promotion is what I remember my Uncle David telling me as a child… during one of our few chats.” (Season 1, Episode 16)
- “Say Ari, is that a Chekhov Chill? When you find one of those, aren’t you supposed to do something with it? I don’t make the rules, bro.” (Season 1, Episode 16)
- “Hey back off! You’re hoping to possess Jay again, aren’t you?” (Season 1, Episode 17)
- “God that’s awful! You know, I actually had kind of a bad prom too! Although now that I say it out loud, yours was definitely worse.” (Season 1, Episode 17)
- “Oh boy! The ghosts can now interact with the Alexa.” (Season 1, Episode 17)
- “You know, no livings allowed isn’t even a theme. It’s just like stupid.” (Season 1, Episode 17)
- “As if! Like I care about some stupid ghost prom! Whatever!” (Season 1, Episode 17)
- “When I was in high school, I loved everything French…the language, the food, the films I pretended to understand. I even had a French penpal, Pierre LaCroix. We IM’d for like two months. And then he told me that he was going to come to America, right when prom was happening and he wanted to take me. Turned out Pierre wasn’t real. Kelly Blakenship catfished me as a cruel prank. I waited outside my house for three hours. Of course he didn’t show up and then Kelly and her friends drove past and threw baguettes at me. And the next day at school was the worst… I wanted it to be true, Jay. But it wasn’t. And yes that was the only experience I had with prom so forgive me not getting invited to the ghost prom gives me a little PTSD.” (Season 1, Episode17)
- “Wait so this girl is only awake for like one night a year, and she’s gonna spend it alone, on prom night. The very event that she tried to recreate because she died that night?” (Season 1, Episode 17)
- “Yeah, with their fancy cars and their pickleball courts!” (Season 1, Episode 18)
- “Okay. Small update. Thor apparently put a Norse curse on to us to stop us from opening the B&B.” (Season 1, Episode 18)
- “The ghosts are saying this could result in me not being able to see them.” (Season 1, Episode 18)
- “Thank you. Thank all of you. I can’t do this. If there’s even a small chance that this could make them all go away, then I don’t wanna take that chance. The curse might not even be real, we don’t know! I mean Pete got shot with an arrow. Was he cursed? The truth is life is gonna throw obstacles in our way but you know what? We will take them as they come. I mean, we can treat the termites. We can replace an old chandelier!” (Season 1, Episode 18)
- “So why don’t we settle this B&B feud once and for all! One game of Pickleball for all the marbles. You win and we’ll sell you our place and leave town. We win, and you close down Farnsby&B.” (Season 1, Episode 18)
- “Yes! Suck on that, curse!” (Season 1, Epsiode 18)
- “Again, it’s probably not even real and even if it is, it’s okay! The curse was to prevent us from opening the B&B. Now we’re open. We won!” (Season 1, Episode 18)
- We really need this visit to go well. After the floor thing, the last people gave us a scathing one-star review on Yelp” (Season 2, Episode 1)
- “I know we were against it before, but it’s not the worst idea… The ghosts are saying they could spy on the guests… But if Tom and Debbie have complaints, then we could find out and course correct while they’re still here… Jay, think about it. People could think that our one bad review was a fluke. But two bad reviews, our only reviews? Would you stay at that B&B?” (Season 2, Episode 1)
- “Okay, yes I should’ve told you, but honestly it’s working. I am able to respond in real time to their every need. I get it. It’s hard to hear criticism. But honestly, if Tom and Debbie thought that I was doing something wrong, I would love to know about it.” (Season 2, Episode 1)
- “Too chatty? That is… very useful criticism. Thank you for letting me know. I will strive to improve that area of my personality during the remainder of their visit.” (Season 2, Episode 1)
- “Oh! I believe that is Jay’s famous duck! But before the main event, your farm-to-table dinner starts with a wide assortment of tasty delights from across the Hudson. I’ll get your salads.” (Season 2, Episode 1)
- “And now, they hate my playlist, they think that I tend to hover, that my voice is too high, and apparently that the pattern on my grandmother’s butter dish is satanic.” (Season 2, Episode 1)
- “And you know what else? Jay’s cookies aren’t too salty, they’re amazing. And he’s got a great ass. And you might not be able to see it in these pants, but if you put him, like, a soft jean, or maybe a chino, your jaw would drop.” (Season 2, Episode 1)
- “Well, I’m sort of an Alberta expert myself!” (Season 2, Episode 2)
- “He did have one thought, though. He suggested that I have a co-host, and more specifically, that that cohost be Todd Pearlman.” (Season 2, Episode 2)
- “Maybe we shouldn’t mess with that. You know, just cause it’s an antique.” (Season 2, Episode 2)
- “Okay, no, I-I played a role in it. But honestly, wasn’t the podcast, like, Pete’s idea? It’s kind of all his fault. And just so you know, Pete agrees with me… I forgot you could see him.” (Season 2, Episode 2)
- “Alberta, you’re looking at this through the lens of your era. I don’t think people will be as bothered by this as you worry they are. Your fans love you! One little incident’s not gonna change anything.” (Season 2, Episode 2)
- “You know that that story makes what you did completely understandable, right?” (Season 2, Episode 2)
- “You know, it’s interesting, Todd. If Alberta were here, I feel like she’d probably be pretty grateful this whole rat story came to light. She might even call me a hero for inviting you over and discovering the diary.” (Season 2, Episode 2)
- “So you’ll just park here, and you’ll find the trailhead there. Now it is bear season so if you see any…just, uh, keep your distance.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
- “So far it’s just been antiquers and bird watchers… would love to find a way to expand our customer base.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
- “Well it sounds to me like somebody made some friends! Good for you for putting yourself out there… No, it’s just been harder on Jay. We both left our friends in the city, but I have all you guys to talk to and I know that sometimes he must feel left out.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
- “I just… I’m worried about Jay’s feelings getting hurt. There don’t seem to be many fun people our age in this town and he seemed like he was so excited.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
- “Jay, come on. They all live together in some weird collective and Micah came up with the formula for the patch in a dream.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
- “Pete, please just tell us everything is going to be okay. We really need some of your Pinecone Trooper, can-do spirit right now!” (Season 2, Episode 3)
- “Oh sunsets, what about those? I mean right now, they’re beautiful but in like a thousand years, you’ll have seen so many, it’ll just be boring.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
- “Well, it’s true and I’m sorry if that causes a wedge (smirks)... …He talked about how forbidden it was the whole time, which only made it hotter, he said.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
- “The thing is… this tree actually has special significance to the native Lenape!... …For one thing, those markings are definitely Lenape…yes, they represent the 13 dialects of the Lenape language.” (Season 2, Episode 4)
- “It means we’re turning the pressure up on June and Ally. Now everybody will know they’re trying to destroy a piece of Lenape history!” (Season 2, Episode 4)
- “Hell yeah it is! The power of the pen; it’s mightier than the sword!” (Season 2, Episode 4)
- “I hate to quibble with you, Bob, But I do have it on pretty good authority that there were thirteen dialects… …Look, I appreciate that you come from a place of experience, but… …Well (chuckles) I’m… …I know the optics on this aren’t great and I don’t have an explanation for how I know this, but you have to trust me… …when I say I want to humbly apologize.” (Season 2, Episode 4)
- “So the protestors are finally gone, but not before I had to profusely apologize for being brazenly ignorant about Lenape culture. What the hell, Sasappis? Why did you lie to me?” (Season 2, Episode 4)
- “As we build our lives and our business here, we want to acknowledge that this is the ancestral land of the Lenape. They have taken care of this land for generations, and it is an honor to continue that tradition.” (Season 2, Episode 4)
- “Just because a party’s small, doesn’t mean we can’t make it fun!” (Season 2, Episode 5)
- “Spirits, we ask you to open your doors to the realm of the dead.” (Season 2, Episode 5)
- “Actually, it worked… …In the way that a portal from the ceiling opened up and now we have a maid from the Gilded Age in our kitchen.” (Season 2, Episode 5)
- “Hetty, maybe her being here is an opportunity… …No, I mean an opportunity to get closure, by forgiving her. Who know? Maybe it could even help you to move on.” (Season 2, Episode 5)
- “And impenetrable to cell service apparently. Oh, God! I could die in here. I could actually die!” (Season 2, Episode 5)
- “We’re trying to space out our corpse removals. Do you think it was painful, his death in here?” (Season 2, Episode 5)
- “But the way things were was wrong. You shouldn’t be mad at each other when the real culprit is right there. Both of you were stuck in a patriarchal system that pitted women against each other, because holding a man accountable wasn’t an option.” (Season 2, Episode 5)
- “Okay, Thor. So, I went over to the Farnsbys’ and I met a ghost. He was a Viking ghost. He was your son, Bjorn.” (Season 2, Episode 6)
- “Could you be more specific? There were a number of dumb deaths that took place here. And also just some regular ones, too.” (Season 2, Episode 7)
- “Right, it’s just, I actually know his widow. I met his grandkid. And I don’t think they would appreciate an inaccurate depiction.” (Season 2, Episode 7)
- “So, you see, Pete did nothing wrong. It was an unfortunate incident and nothing “dumb” on Pete’s part.” (Season 2, Episode)
- “I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to shut this whole thing down. I get that it’s accurate now, but as friends of Pete’s family, we just don’t feel comfortable…” (Season 2, Episode 7)
- “Issac. Britain and the US are basically best friends. They are like our closest ally. You know, there’s even a name for the friendship between Britain and America. It’s called ‘The Special Relationship.’ … …Thank you, I learned it from a movie called ‘Love Actually.’” (Season 2, Episode 7)
- “No, uh, after Jay got shot with an arrow, we agreed not to sue in return for them not doing Pete’s story.” (Season 2, Episode 7)
- (As Flower) “Yo, man, is that a bear? I bet it totally wants to hug me? Hey Fluffy!” (Season 2, Episode 7)
- “It’s 1928 and Johnny Law is hot on our tails… Yes, exactly. And as long as you know the password… um, uh arrow… nerd, then you can come on in.” (Season 2, Episode 8)
- “Hey, Elliot. Uh, how would you like to try Prohibition-era whiskey stashed on this property 100 years ago by bootleggers?” (Season 2, Episode 8)
- Reading the letter “ ‘My dearest Earl… I can’t wait for us to be together once we get ride of you-know-who.’ Signed T.” (Season 2, Episode 8)
- “Christmas is not just a holiday to me. It’s a season, a lifestyle.” (Season 2, Episode 9)
- “Can you believe it, Jay?! We’re hosting friggin Christmas at our house. This is the dream.” (Season 2, Episode 9)
- “Well, the holidays have a funny way of helping you see what’s been in fron fo your face all along.” (Season 2, Episode 9)
- “Oh no, I’m not deterred. Just wait til I sprinkle a little bit of reindeer dust, and then it’s gonna be just like a Christmas movie.” (Season 2, Episode 9)
- “Oh my God. Sass, you won’t believe what just happened. I was fixing a light and I got shocked and then I think Thor possessed me.” (Season 2, Episode 9)
- “Oh, so am I! So… am I…officially offering you the job? I think I am!” (Season 2, Episode 11)
- “Oh my God! Is that a… Toyota? You don’t see those everyday.” (Season 2, Episode 11)
- “I’m kind of drowning here. Freddie installed all these new systems, and he didn’t get a chance to walk me through them.” (Season 2, Episode 11)
- Yeah. You don’t really believe in ghosts?!” (Season 2, Episode 13)
- “Thank you for sharing that. That’s what I love about running the B&B- connecting with the guests, being there for you.” (Season 2, Episode 13)
- “Jay, we don’t even have to use it. We can just park it on the lawn, and Sas gets to hang out with Jessica.” (Season, 2, Episode 13)
- “But what if I was wrong? Wouldn’t it be sad if a ghost was trapped in that little box? I mean what if it was a friendly ghost, like Casper?” (Season 2, Episode 13)
- “Not a huge shock since we all know his finance bros dumped his body in the lake, but the skull that was found turns out to be Trevor’s.” (Season 2, Episode 14)
- “I get it. It was tough for me when my parents got divorced.” (Season 2, Episode 14)
- “That’s the thing about divorce. There’s those moments where the two people see each other again at some family event, like a… a graduation or a dance recital, and you think there’s a chance they could get back together.” (Season 2, Episode 14)
- “I don’t know that this will work, but we gotta try!” (Season 2, Episode 14)
- “Trevor thinks that this was his fault, and he wants a chance to fix it. You’re not gonna deny him that, are you?” (Season 2, Episode 14)
- “Okay, so in The Parent Trap, they sent a message to the one parents to get them to show up at the same place where they knew the other parent was going to be… …You could sneak into your mom’s room and use your phone to text your dad and invite him over… … I wouldn’t put it like that, but yes I want him to sext his dad.” (Season 2, Episode 14)
- “Maybe there’s an innocent explanation for the whole business care thing. Maybe Tara Reid is interested in wholesale lighting… … I saw you guys last night. There was still a spark there… …Look, I know you said you felt Trevor’s presence in that room. And what if you were right? What if Trevor is here with us today? My parents also got divorced and I know I blame myself. Maybe Trevor blames his death for your divorce.” (Season 2, Episode 14)
- “We’re never gonna grow apart, will we, Jay?... …I always thought that my parents were rock-solid too, and it seems like Trevor thought the same thing about his folks. I know things are great right now, but what about when we have kids or after they’re grown up and we’re empty nesters?” (Season 2, Episode 14)
- “I know it’s a big ask, but it’s really important to Thor… …There’s some concern in the ghost community that Flower could change her mind. And to be fair, we weren’t going out on the actual Valentine’s Day anyway.” (Season 2, Episode 15)
- “Okay. They are loving the smell of your testicles.” (Season 2, Episode 15)
- “Uh, Jay, the ghosts are asking if you could eat some of the dish and describe it to them.” (Season 2, Episode 15)
- “Well, Thor is devastated, and I just cancelled two Valentine’s dates in a row to watch my husband choke down some rams’ balls, so I think you kind of have to.” (Season 2, Episode 15)
- “I’m really grateful you trusted me with all this, but I think there’s someone else you might want to share it with.” (Season 2, Episode 15)
- “You were right- I do need to say no to the ghosts more often. Especially when it’s about something that’s important to us.” (Season 2, Episode 15)
- “In summary, while this book may be about a forgotten Founding Father, it is a story that is truly unforgettable… … but that’s all you hear about. But what about the guys were weren’t in the room where it happened, but were in the building? Or like down the street.” (Season 2, Episode 16)
- “Oh Alberta, I got your magazine. No pictures of Jason Momoa, but there is a picture of The Rock putting out his garbage cans.” (Season 2, Episode 16)
- “Yeah, Jay and I own and operate this bed-and-breakfast, sure. But I am very much still in the journalism game. I actually had some pieces published recently in the Ulster County Review.” (Season 2, Episode 16)
- “Issac, can we talk? I just heard back about the book… … They want to publish it!” (Season 2, Episode 16)
- “He just started going on and on about his legacy and how much was riding on the book getting published, and I couldn’t do it… …At most, we’ll have to print up some book copies in a couple years. Maybe write up some bogus reviews. Photoshop me into a book signing at a Barnes and Noble.” (Season 2, Episode 16)
- “Oh yeah, no, that Starbucks is actually build ont he site of a former hospital for the criminally insane. I can’t go anywhere near it. It’s a hellscape.” (Season 2, Episode 16)
- “Again, I didn’t post it. The ghosts did. Which, yes, is a complication. But it’s also kind of nice. They thought I was being too modest about my accomplishment… …As little as I want to do it, we have to just stick to this lie.” (Season 2, Episode 16)
- “Issac, wait!... For another day til your story is told, because I am not giving up!” (Season 2, Episode 16)
- “At first, I lied because I felt bad for you. You just seemed like you really needed the win to feel important or something. And then, later, as I kept up the lie with Isabel, I realized I needed the same thing.” (Season 2, Episode 16)
- “Isaac, you don’t need to have a book written about you to be a significant person. You fought int he Revolutionary War. You invented the sniper rifle. And more imporantatly you’re a good person, and a good friend, and everyone in this house knows that. So, who cares if history knows your name? Because the people who matter know who you are.” (Season 2, Episode 16)
- “I’m gonna post it on Instagram, and then ‘accidentally’ tag Isabel.” (Season 2, Episode 16)
- “Jay, why don’t you read the latest Martino family newsletter out loud so that you can feel like a part of things?” (Season 2, Episode 17)
- “Not sure how else to say this, but a portal from Hell just opened up in the floor and Hetty’s robber baron husband Elias just popped out of it.” (Season 2, Episode 17)
- “He says he’s changed, and he’s not gonna run us out of business.” (Season 2, Episode 17)
- “Hey Pete. We got another Martino newsletter.” (Season 2, Episode 17)
- “Look, I don’t want Elias here, either. I mean, we’re trying to run a family business. We don’t need horny families.” (Season 2, Episode 17)
- “I don’t think that’s a good idea… …that you take more Flower, so that you can be in the same headspace as you were when you originally came up with the recipe.” (Season 2, Episode 17)
- “I can’t just have one normal day.” (Season 2, Episode 17)
- “I know it’s hard, but you got to find some way to forgive him. Pete’s entire afterlife is riding on this.” (Season 2, Episode 17)
- “Jay, get a grip. You got this. You don’t need Flower. You’re a great chef.” (Season 2, Episode 17)
- “Okay, how should I put this? You know in Star Wars, when Luke is in that trench on the Death Star, and he turns off his targeting computer when Obi-Wan tells him to use the Force? You got this… …Jay everything you need is inside of you. Now kiss me like you’re Luke and I’m your sister.” (Season 2, Episode 17)
- “You know who did have an interesting dating life is Alberta.” (Season 2, Episode 18)
- “And of course Todd would be extremely hurt if I recorded an episode without him.” (Season 2, Episode 18)
- “She found him charming and funny. She asked if she was single. “Yea, cause I want to make him seem credible, professional and… Oh my God. I’ve normalized Todd.” (Season 2, Episode 18)
- “Let’s codblock Todd.” (Season 2, Episode 18)
- “Hey Todd, I almost forgot, uh how’s your mom doing?... …He lives with his mom.” (Season 2, Episode 18)
- “Oh it’s pretty convenient for work though right? Because the museum is in her garage.” (Season 2, Episode 18)
- “Speaking of, why don’t you show Alicia the tattoo of Alberta’s face that you have? I-It covers, like, the majority of his back… … By the way, uh, do you still have Alberta’s toenail on display at the museum?” (Season 2, Episode 18)
- “He wants to clone Alberta! It’s very exciting. I should let Todd speak about it.” (Season 2, Episode 18)
- “Oh my God, I just had a thought- could “Reese” be short for Theresa?” (Season 2, Episode 18)
- “Oh my God! Are we really offering double points on weekdays? Yes we are!” (Season 2, Episode 19)
- “Big morning. Not only did we find Crash’s head, but guess what, Pete? There’s a new Martino Family newsletter.” (Season 2, Episode 19)
- “Pete wants us to convince Laura to have the wedding here at the mansion so that he can attend.” (Season 2, Episode 19)
- “What was I supposed to do? I offered her a free venue, at-cost catering, triple Woodstone rewards points for their stay.” (Season 2, Episode 19)
- “So you’re saying we should threaten Carol to get the wedding here?” (Season 2, Episode 19)
- “Okay, then let’s report a triple homicide.” (Season 2, Episode 19)
- “Look we’re going to anonymously report Carol and Jerry for the deck, leaving them suddenly in need of a last-second wedding venue.” (Season 2, Episode 19)
- “Pete feels like Carol’s steamrolling us on everything… …I’m sorry, Pete, you must be so frustrated.” (Season 2, Episode 19)
- “That’s a beautiful story, Pete. And I’m sure it would mean alot to Carol, coming from you, but unfortunately she an’t hear it from you.” (Season 2, Episode 19)
- “It all makes sense now. That is why I had lilies stuck in my head. I must have read it in Pete’s old scout manual and somehow internalized it.” (Season 2, Episode 19)
- “I just, I feel so bad about this whole situation. You’re right. I got obsessed with having lilies in the photos, and I should’ve cared more about what you guys wanted… …I guess I just…I…I went a little kook-a-luka. I don’t know how else to say it… …I went nuts, and I’m sure guys never want to see us again.” (Season 2, Episode 19)
- “I’m just glad we were able to step in after the whol incident with Pete’s unpermitted deck.” (Season 2, Episode 19)
- “That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call them something different.” (Season 2, Episode 20)
- “No, it’s just that you’re a high-schooler, and all the other ghost are, you know, adults.” (Season 2, Episode 20)
- “No, we don’t hide things from each other. I’m sure he just didn’t get around to telling me yet.” (Season 2, Episode 20)
- “Hey honey, I just realized that I never got the chance to hear about the rest of your trip… …No, I didn’t mean more D&D stuff. You were there for two days. You must have done something else… …Look, Jay the truth is I know what you did in New York.” (Season 2, Episode 20)
- “I want you to be able to be honest with me because that is the kind of couple we are.” “Whatever, the shoes don’t matter. You were looking for a job in the city. Are you unhappy here?... …You know I can’t live in the city, right? It’s like wall to wall ghosts. Central Park looks like the ‘Thriller’ video.” (Season 2, Episode 20)
- “Um, there’s a rare owl that nesting there. We don’t like to disturb it.” (Season 2, Episode 20)
- “Guys, I have an idea… …Right I mean my guy, my man, my-my dude. My man Mark. Marky-Mark.” (Season 2, Episode 20)
- “So, after our little talk earlier, everything you said was true. I can’t ever go back to the city. So why don’t we bring the New York City food scene to us? It’ll be like that baseball movie you love… … ‘If you build it, they will come’ So this is why I brought you out here. Because this could be your cornfield. It could be a restaurant, a destination restaurant.” (Season 2, Episode 20)
- “Okay, so I guess I have one day to solve Alberta’s murder.” (Season 2, Episode 21)
- “I don’t want to believe it’s true, either but it would make a really good end to the podcast… …purely from a storytelling view.” (Season 2, Episode 21)
- “Do you think Clara would really be mad enough to kill you. I mean, you said she only spent one night in jail.” (Season 2, Episode 21)
- “But maybe do like an e-introduction just to get the ball rolling.” (Season 2, Episode 21)
- “Unfortunately there is a lot of yarn pointing to your sister.” (Season 2, Episode 21)
- “Wait, has anyone ever talked to the basement ghosts about what they saw that night?” (Season 2, Episode 21)
- “They said that there was a guy who took rat poison, he had a scar on his face.” (Season 2, Episode 21)
- “It looks like it was the famous gangster, Al Capone.” (Season 2, Episode 21)
- “So you’re saying your son was having an affair with Earl and that’s why he killed Alberta? (Season 2, Episode 21)
- No, but, and I can’t believe I have to keep saying this. Stop using the computer and never go into our bank accounts.” (Season 2, Episode 21)
- “Look, don’t beat yourselves up too much. A Lot of people do fall for these computer scams. Usually, they’re older people, but I guess you guys are old, in a way.” (Season 2, Episode 21)
- “So you were trying to trick us into selling you our house for basically nothing so you could turn it around and sell it at a huge profit, all to pay off some gambling debts?” (Season 2, Episode 22)
- “Think about how much our lives have changed in these past two years. Each one of the ghosts has come to mean to much to me. I never had a lot of family. But the truth is, these days we’re surrounded by family. And yes, they can be frustrating and demanding and childish. But I’ve also seen them grow. Seen them be loving and giving and sweet. And the thing is, for as much as we help them, they’ve made our lives so much richer.” (Season 2, Episode 22)
- “We saw a light. Someone just got sucked off.” (Season 3, Episode 1)
- “Jay, we might have another problem… Okay, so it’s kind of a good news-bad news situation. The good news is that Thor really took your thoughts on reincarnation to heart…The bad news is that Thor thinks that that owl is Flower… And he’s demanding that we don’t move or in any way disturb it… It’s just that Thor is in an extremely delicate place right now…And I just don’t think we should rush the grieving process…May-Maybe if we delayed construction by like a week.” (Season 3, Episode 1)
- “Oh gosh. Was there some sort of problem? Was it the heating? Because I-I know that there can be a bit of a draft… Well, our website does promise an immersive experience with the local fauna.” (Season 3, Episode 1)
- "I’m sorry. You can’t just snap your fingers and expect somebody to move on when they’ve just lost their best friend!” (Season 3, Episode 1)
- “Jay’s right. I mean, Flower was the happiest person I know. And look at her. Does she look happy to you?” (Season 3, Episode 1)
- “Oh, it was the only photo of Flower I could find on the internet. She was high, apparently, and naked and tried to join the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.”(Season 3, Episode 1)
- “Well, I’ve only been here a short time, compared to all of you and maybe loss still hits me harder because I’ve had less of it. But I have had some. And I’ve lived long enough to know to cherish the special people who come into your life. Because before you know it, they’re gone.” (Season 3, Episode 1)
- “Guys, Jay has been putting in long hours planning the restaurant. He deserves to relax, kick back, watch the Knicks lose in 4K.” (Season 3, Episode 2)
- “Jay, this is so sad. Apparently, Isaac says Thor’s had three girlfriends, and they all got sucked off after dating him.” (Season 3, Episode 2)
- “Oh, the ghosts are laughing at you.” (Season 3, Episode 2)
- “Pete just told me what you’ve been up to, Sass. Are you kidding? You’ve been entering my husband’s dreams to manipulate his thoughts?...The point is, this is a huge breach of trust and privacy. Not to mention, it’s creepy. Just stay out of Jay’s head.”(Season 3, Episode 2)
- “Are you saying we should bring Flower back from heaven this Halloween?” (Season 3, Episode 2)
- “Bela seems so happy. I’m just glad she’s finally giving a good guy a shot. Did you know he secretly took classes to learn how to make crepes because Bela told him she loves crepes.” (Season 3, Episode 3)
- “Eric’s lying. He can’t see ghosts.” (Season 3, Episode 3)
- “Damn it, Eric. We were rooting for you. You took a crepe-making class.” (Season 3, Episode 3)
- “So you remember how we met because we running into each other at that cute coffee shop in the West Village? Well it was your neighborhood spot. The first time I went there was to meet a friend. And then I got chatting to this really handsome guy in line. And I thought maybe there was a spark, so the next morning, I went back to see if he would be there again, after waking up at 6:00 am to catch the PATH train from Jersey City, where I lived.” (Season 3, Episode 3)
- “I’m saying that sometimes people do crazy things for love.” (Season 3, Episode 3)
- “Imminent?... I work out twice a week, I eat well.” (Season 3, Episode 3)
- “Babe, what about Caroline? That cool girl with the eyebrow ring who runs the bookshop? Did we invite her?... Boom shakalaka, this party’s gonna rock!” (Season 3, Episode 4)
- “Which is why we’re taking no chances this year. We sent out the invites months ago. And we have received a solid number of RSVPs from a highly curated selection of Hudson Valley locals.” (Season 3, Episode 4)
- “Oh we love it. And there’s, like, tons to do up here. Do you guys like apple-picking?” (Season 3, Episode 4)
- “Actually, I would prefer it if you guys weren’t in my ear. No offense, it’s just kinda hard to charm Sasha and Nico with you guys distracting me.” (Season 3, Episode 4)
- “Spirits we ask you to open your doors to the realm of the dead… We were just praying for a good party.” (Season 3, Episode 4)
- “Spirits, spirits draw in near. From beyond, join us here.” (Season 3, Episode 4)
- “Jay, the ghosts think that maybe it didn’t work because Flower didn’t have the weed on her when she died.” (Season 3, Episode 4)
- “Uh, Jay, the ghosts are saying that you should dig up the spot where Flower died and see if you can find anything that was on her person.” (Season 3, Episode 4)
- “I don’t want to hear it. I very politely asked you guys not to talk to me at the party, because when you do, it makes me look like a crazy person… I don’t want your help. You died hundreds of years ago, and I’m sorry, but your advice isn’t all that relevant.” (Season 3, Episode 4)
- “Not great. Carol keeps hovering when I’m trying to talk to Sasha and Nico. I don’t know why she’s still here.” (Season 3, Episode 4)
- “Let’s just bring Flower back since that’s all I’m good for is doing stuff for you guys, even though you can’t do one simple things for me, like telling me Carol’s a freaking ghost when I’m making an idiot out of myself.” (Season 3, Episode 4)
- “I may have been a little harsh, saying that your advice wasn’t relevant. The truth is, I could probably learn a lot from you guys when it comes to that kind of stuff.” (Season 3, Episode 4)
- “Right! Sass is pointing out that we gave Isaac that money from the book advance. Speaking of which, have you looked at the draft I gave you to read yet?” (Season 3, Episode 5)
- “Are we really taking Isaac’s money? This feels wrong.” (Season 3, Episode 5)
- “Isaac, I’m sorry. The restaurant means so much to Jay. We just didn’t know what else to do.” (Season 3, Episode 5)
- “I thought you said you had reconsidered and you were going to give us the money.” (Season 3, Episode 5)
- “Isaac, we have a proposition for you. What if, instead of you just giving us the money, we made you an actual partner in our restaurant?... Isaac, I know you’re upset with us, but you’ve always wanted to own a tavern, and this way you get to have your dream and Jay gets his.” (Season 3, Episode 5)
- “Trevor, we can’t afford someone just living here mooching and spending us into oblivion.”(Season 3, Episode 6)
- “Jeremy, we’re a small business. We can’t afford to be providing goods and services to a non-paying customer with no end in sight.” (Season 3, Episode 6)
- “How are the ghosts gonna help? The only one that knows anything about Super Mega Bowl, or football for that matter is Trevor. And I don’t see him helping out in this scheme.” (Season 3, Episode 6)
- “Look, I’m excited for you, but this isn’t sustainable.” (Season 3, Episode 7)
- “The thing is, Alberta’s been in a desert. I just think we need to consider her feelings here… What if we just gave her like, another month?...It’s not fair to you. I think we should just insist that Saul jerks off onto someone else. That’s what they call it when they move to another host.” (Season 3, Episode 7)
- What if I told you Jay could take you to that little Italian town, and you could jerk off onto that nonna?”(Season 3, Episode 7)
- “You know this whole thing with Saul and Alberta has made me realize how lucky we are to have found each other. And it’s pretty nice to have our bedroom back to ourselves.” (Season 3, Episode 7)
- “No, really! Flower’s back, Jay.” (Season 3, Episode 8)
- “I’m sorry I wasn’t here this weekend. I did get you a refrigerator magnet. It was originally for everyone, but anyway, it’s on the fridge.” (Season 3, Episode 8)
- “Guess what! Pete discovered his ghost power. He can leave the property.” (Season 3, Episode 9)
- “Flower’s right. It’s hard to hurt someone you care about. But the truth is, you just weren’t ready today and that’s okay.” (Season 3, Episode 10)
- “Well we should confirm it with our investor… Yes I think he would be very upset if we didn’t loop him in.” (Season 4, Episode 1)
- “Interesting. Nancy seems like she’s hiding something.” (Season 4, Episode 1)
- “Jay, uh, quick update. Isaac was kidnapped by a Puritan ghost, who’s been roaming the dirt for centuries waiting for a chance at revenge.” (Season 4, Episode 1)
- “Our friends are still being held hostage, but yes, Jay, he did the Raiders thing.” (Season 4, Episode 1)
- “My parents divorced when I was ten, and my dad wasn’t around a lot. It’s no biggie.” (Season 4, Episode 2)
- “Patience, we respect your beliefs, but these days it okay for people to share a room, even if they’re not married… Well, with all due respect, Patience, it’s not up to you and ther’s nothing you can do about it.” (Season 4, Episode 2)
- “So, listen, uh we have good news. We are upgrading both of you to our exclusive, premium Woodstone two-room experience… You see when the mansion was built, the couple who owned it slept in separate bedrooms, as all well-to-do people did in their day. So in Hetty and Elias’ honor, Woodstone is offering a two-room experience.” (Season 4, Episode 2)
- “The truth is you and Diane can’t sleep in the same room because Jay has become deeply conservative and doesn’t think it’s appropriate.” (Season 4, Episode 2)
- “Yea, just check out and leave. Typical… It means that’s what you always do. Just like you did when you and Mom split up. I’m used to it. I’ll see you in another four years, I guess.” (Season 4, Episode 2)
- “Jay, the ghosts are telling me that my dad pulled away when I was a kid because my mom basically made him… He didn’t have to listen to her, though. And what about once I was out of the house? I mean it doesn’t explain away all that.” (Season 4, Episode 2)
- “I think I’m realizing that when I cut that one girlfriend’s hair, and now the whole blood thing, I was trying to tell you I was mad at you without telling you. But I’m also realizing that I wasn’t looking at things from your perspective, and things were probably alot more complicated than I knew. I guess what I’m saying is I want us to be closer.” (Season 4, Episode 2)
- “But Jay, I love Halloween. Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little bit?” (Season 4, Episode 3)
- “Oh is it? I found it while we were clearing out the ballroom. It’s kinda Halloween-y. Unless Jay says something and then it’s just a dress.” (Season 4, Episode 3)
- “Oh Patience. Things have changed in the last 400 years. Instead of turning on each other, women should be lifting each other up.” (Season 4, Episode 3)
- “We are no longer second-class citizens. We can do anything that men can do.” (Season 4, Episode 3)
- “Okay fine. I like Halloween. We’re not having a party, we’re not bringing anyone back from the dead…" (Season 4, Episode 3)
- “Yeah! Jay could wear one of those Bluetooth ear pieces. I feel like douchy Wall Street guys do that.” (Season 4, Episode 4)
- “He’s talking fountain money, Jay.” (Season 4, Episode 4)
- “Uh, Jay, MJ, Michael Jackson. I can’t remember how you said you wanted your steak cooked. Well, actually can you come show me because (in Southern accent) I’m all alone up here, and I don’t get to talk to many people since the mill closed. Times have been hard.” (Season 4, Episode 4)
- “Trevor feels like he never got the chance to make his mark because he died so young. And he’s starting to realize he never will.” (Season 4, Episode 4)
- “Oh, that was my twin sister, Daisy May. We were separated at birth, but now we run an inn together. She’s a laid-back country gal, and I’m a go-go city slicker, but somehow it works.” (Season 4, Episode 4)
- “Well, Pete, I did a little research for you, and I managed to find some articles about Donna. She’s real, alright… Because she sort of murdered her husband and fled to the Caribbean. Yeah, there’s actually an episode of a show called Vicious Vixens that delves into the whole situation. You guys wanna watch?” (Season 4, Episode 4)
- “Jay, guess what? Someone actually wants to rent out the ballroom. And this time, it’s not people who want to shoot a porno.” (Season 4, Episode 5)
- “The Hudson Valley players. They’re the premier community theater organization in all of Ulster County. Recently nominated for a “Toby”… Oh similar, but it’s just for Hudson County and the winners are chosen by a guy named Toby.
- “I was tech crew. Should’ve been the lead, but, you know, politics.” (Season 4, Episode 5)
- “Yea, he’s one of the Hudson Valley Players. People are still buzzing about his performance in “Rent” last year. There’s Toby talk.” (Season 4, Episode 5)
- “No, this isn’t some rinky-dink production. This is the Hudson Valley Players. They performed at the mall!” (Season 4, Episode 5)
- “It was humiliating. After that, I moved to tech crew and I’ve been terrified to get on stage ever since.” (Season 4, Episode 5)
- “There’s gonna be laps?” (Season 4, Episode 5)
- “Okay, Jay before you go to bed tonight, I want you to think about Marisa, so Sass can hang out with her tonight.” (Season 4, Episode 5)
- “Alberta’s been so amazing, Jay. I actually think I could get this part. Wouldn’t that be incredible.” (Season 4, Episode 5)
- “Red leather, yellow leather, lavender leather.” (Season 4, Episode 5)
- “Oh I’d love to, Flower, but I’m on vocal rest. We’re only halfway through our season. Sweetie, would you fetch me another hot water with lemon? I need to soothe my instrument.” (Season 4, Episode 5)