Flower is a sweet but trippy 60s love child who experiences regular flashbacks and hallucinations. Because of this, she bounces between lucidity and trances that often leave her distracted and confused.  

Played by: Sheila Carrasco
Family members: Three older brothers (Robbie, 2 Unnamed), Ira Klein (boyfriend), Michael (former boyfriend, possible fiance)
Ghostly Ability: Flower can make someone feel high when she walks through them.
Occupation in life: Flower child. One-time bank robber.
Cause of Death: While high on hallucinogenic mushrooms at a local music festival, Flower stumbled onto the Woodstone Manor grounds and mistook an angry bear with its paws raised high for an invitation to hug. Instead, the bear malled her to death.


Flower is an excitable, talkative, sweet, albeit trippy, woman in either her 20s or 30s. She tends to bounce back and forth between lucidity and a state of being high or in a trance, making her easily distracted and confused. She comes across as quite simple but is actually quite intuitive as evidenced in “Flower’s Article”. Here we see her ask leading questions to figure out if Issac and Alberta are being honest with her regarding the secret behind her bank robbery story. She can make sense of more complex idea if she is able to focus long enough. She also sees things in a more positive light and seldom gets angry. If she does get upset, she’s able to handle her feelings in a more peaceful way. She is described as being the biggest “do-gooder” out of all the ghosts.

Flower is a self-proclaimed feminist and beleives that women should have equal rights to men. When Pete dismisses her offers to watch and talk basketball with her instead of Jay (“Ghostwriter”), she is frustrated that after 50 years, women aren’t being treated like an equal akin to how Pete has treated her. After talking to Hetty who convinces her not to tolerate being disrespected by a man, Flower confronts Pete and lets him know she was hurt by his actions and that just because she is a woman doesn’t mean she cannot appreciate a game of basketball. Turns out that she has an extensive amount of knowledge pertaining to basketball history. She tells him that she knows about various basketball plays and that she even played in high school. And when Pete responds that he didn’t know, she explains that is it because he erroneously “judged a book by its cover.” She goes on to further educate Pete about basketball, the players who played during the 40s and 50s who Pete didn’t even know anything about. She also proceeds to educate him on the entire history of the game starting with the fact that Dr. Naismith in 1891, started basketball as a way to find a game for his YMCA students to play indoors during the winter.

Flower states that she is closest to Sasappis in the house, likening him to a brother.

Flower admits to having intimacy issues and is hesitant to enter into a relationship with Thorfinn unless they can find a third to be a buffer. Thorfinn later admits to Flower that he is not okay with having a third and would prefer to wait for as long as it takes for Flower to be comfortable in being with only him. Flower is flattered by Thorfinn ’s kindness and patience. Flower continues to have feelings for Thorfinn although she is still not ready to pursue a one on one relationship with him. However, in “Attic Girl” when Thorfinn tries to ask her to dance with him, he struggles to find the words. Flower grasps what he is trying to do and suggests that they dance together during ghost prom. It is their first dance together. This is an appropriate next step for them as throughout the episode, Flower can be seen gazing upon Thorfinn affectionately quite frequently.

In “Ghost HunterFlower shows tremendous growth after she gets stuck with Thorfinn in Freddie’s ghost trap. When Pete volunteers to go into the trap to help rescue the two, they are kissing, having agreed to make the most of the time they have left together. Once they are released, Flower states that she is inspired by Pete’s doing something he was scared to do. She then decides to face her fears and go on a date with just Thorfinn, no third. This could be the beginning of Flower learning to overcome her intimacy issues.

When lucid, Flower is a very sensitive soul. She was very protective of the details surrounding her bank robbery story, fearing the truth would make her out to be a selfish, hypocrite and a fraud. She was also upset at first at the prospect of the show “Dumb Deaths” documenting the details surrounding her premature demise, stating that the show would be making fun of her and that she didn’t like that.

In “A Date to Remember,” Flower confronts her intimacy issues when sharing a heartbreaking story about a past beau, Michael. It is clear that from talking about him, she is still heartbroken and traumatized by her loss.

Flower has a higher level of intelligence when at her most lucid. In “A Date to Remember” she shows cunning by feining forgetting her date to avoid having to admit she had a good time and to avoid having to confront her intimacy and trust issues. She understands that most of the other ghosts assume that shes always forgetful and trippy, and used that to her advantage when Thorfinn asked her about their date.


Before she was known as Flower, Susan “Flower” Montero started playing basketball as a child as she learned from her three older brothers. In high school, she played basketball, having scored 20 points in the first half alone in one game. She also described herself as being quite aggressive on the court, even though she considers herself a pacifist.

As a young adult, Flower became a member of the counter-culture revolution of the late 1960s had joined several cults and lived within several communes during which she was married to couples, making them a “throuple.” She also enjoyed engaging in recreational drug use which was the contributing factor to her death.

In 1968, she, along with other members of her commune, robbed a bank with the goal of donating the money to helping animals in need. She was sworn to secrecy to never talk about the events of the robbery by taking an “eternal blood oath.” However, during her afterlife, she quite often brings up the fact that she “robbed a bank once.Flower finally reveals that she felt guilty after the bank robbery not because they robbed a bank but because her and her partner, Ira stole the money for themselves in hopes of helping people in need (‘Flower’s Article‘).

Soon after the robbery, Flower and Ira, happened upon the grounds of the Woodstone Mansion while attending a music festival nearby. High off hallucinogenic mushrooms, they came across a bear who upon sensing them raised its arms to attack. Flower misconstrued this to mean the bear simply wanted a hug but instead it mauled her to death.

When Flower played basketball, she was not allowed to dribble the ball any other way but forwards and backwards. She also played three on three basketball because women were not allowed to play full court five on five basketball. The floor was divided into offensive and defensive halves and each team had three guards who only defended and rebounded on their end of the court and then there were players who played on the offensive side of the court. Women were also not allowed to play basketball past high school which is why Flower stopped playing. Flower was also surprised to learn recently from Pete that there is a WNBA (Women’s National Basketball League) and believes that her part in the women’s liberation movement had a direct impact on this league coming into fruition. In the year Flower died, there were only 23 colleges playing in the NCAA. Flower also was a big fan of UCLA college ball in the 60s, stating that they dominated and they were the best team for a long time.

Flower is not a fan of any other sports besides basketball, stating that she thinks “all other sports are stupid, and are a complete waste of time.” However, she enjoys practicing yoga. Flower’s nickname in high school was SusanThe Rabid BadgerMontero due to her aggressiveness on the court. She was not bullied in high school.

Flower admits to Thorfinn that there was truth in her telling him that she loved him while they thought he was about to ascend. However, she only said that because there was a possibility that she couldn’t have him. In life, Flower struggled with intimacy issues and while she was in a committed relationship with her boyfriend, Ira, they always had a third in their relationship to act as a buffer to prevent things from getting too intense. Thorfinn suggests that maybe they get a buffer if that is what it takes to have a chance with Flower. The two of them proceed to interview the other ghosts in the house to see who would be a good match for them. They ultimately choose Pete but upon hearing what he’s been chosen to do, he respectfully declines. Flower then surprises Thorfinn with the addition of Crash’s body to be their buffer, reasoning that he is a perfect compromise as he is without a head. Thorfinn admits to Flower that he is not okay with having a third and would prefer to wait for as long as it takes for Flower to be comfortable in being with only him. Flower is flattered by Thorfinn ’s kindness and patience and the two agree to wait to be together.

In the season two premiere, “SpiesFlower reveals that she once slept on a boat tarp with several members of Fleetwood Mac.

In “Alberta’s Podcast,” Flower helps Hetty find a way to deal with Sam and Jay’s very loud, and borderline broken washing machine. She suggests that Hetty sit on it, and after that relaxes her, Flower explains that the vibrations of the washing machine made her aroused. When Hetty visits her and admits her shame in going to sit on the washing machine a second time, Flower convinces her that there is nothing to be ashamed of and that she can do what she wants with her own body because it belongs to her. She states that men have found a way to dictate what women should and shouldn’t do, and what they should and shouldn’t experience as a way to control women. When Hetty states that women still need men to design and manufacture washing machines, Flower states that women can do those things too. When Flower finds Hetty outside disappointed that the old washing machine is being replaced for a newer, quieter one, she tells her that she can find other ways to achieve “the feeling.” She then asks Hetty to take her hand and leads her to the house, whispering different things to Hetty which then causes Hetty to respond to her in shock.

As Sam is showing a couple of B&B guests their upcoming hike route in “Jay’s Friends”, Flower warns them, through Sam, to avoid hugging bears at all costs. When Jay invites his new friend, Micah, who is accompanied by five of who he refers to as “co-workers” over to watch the basketball game, Flower, along with Trevor and Issac, are observing their conversation. Flower is initially infactuated with every word that comes out of Micah’s mouth, even though none of it makes any sense. Flower is able to quickly discern that these people are not in a pyramid scheme, as Trevor suggested, but rather that they are in a cult. Flower excitedly states that while Jay is not a member yet, his chances of getting in are high.

While Sam and the others are frustrated that Jay’s new “friends” are actually out to recruit him to a cult, Flower doesn’t understand their negativty, stating that it’s a good thing for Jay and that he will make life-long friends. Sam responds that he is not joining a cult, and Flower argues that he might want to. In a suddenly serious demenaor, Flower warns her that sometimes when family members give their loved ones an ultimatum between them and the cult, the cult usually wins. As Sam warns Jay about his being recruited to join a cult and asks about the patches Jay willingly accepted to sell on consignment, Flower watches in anticipation. She squeels with delight when Jay reveals that he is wearing a patch, signaling to her that he has been accepted as a new member of the cult.

Later, Flower is standing alone outside of the mansion. Alberta approaches her curious about what she said about having to choose between family and the cult. Flower initially refuses to elaborate on that story to which Alberta responds that she understands. She leaves Flower alone for a few seconds before reapproaching her, claiming that Flower had been telling her the story of how she chose a cult over a family member. Of course, Flower responds differently this time, asking her where she was in the story. She then proceeds to open up about her how her brother, Robbie, showed up at the cult’s compund where she lived and tried to get her to come home. But the cult banned him from the property and forbade Flower from ever speaking to him again. This attempt proved futile as he was kicked out of the compound by those in charge and Flower was subsequently banned from having contact with her family ever again.

Flower becomes aware that perhaps Jay’s joining a cult is not a good idea. When Sam mentions that it would an incredibly arduous and expensive endevaor to vacate the squatting cult members, Flower suggests to Sam that she sleep with Micah. She reasons that nothing splits up a cult faster than when an outsider sleeps with its leader.

After talking to Sam in the kitchen, Flower joins Trevor and cult member Alana on the couch to watch some television. Alberta walks in and suggests that they look up her brother because he may still be alive. Flower respondly sadly that that isn’t possibly because after she left the cult, she heard that he was killed in the Vietnam War. She laments that she wasn’t there to convince him not to go; that he had spent his entire life protecting her and she was not there when he needed her most. He was M.I.A., which Flower believes to mean “murdered in action.” Trevor corrects her, saying that M.I.A is really “missing in action” and K.I.A is “killed in action.” This gives Flower hope that perhaps her brother might still be alive.

After a long day, Flower learns that Sam, at the behest of Trevor and Alberta, reached out to Robbie under the guise of being a former cult member. Sam receives a reply and allows Flower to read his words out loud. She learns that Robbie thought that she died hating him and now, knowing she didn’t brings him peace. Flower is overcome with emotion as she continues reading and also finds peace in knowing that her brother loves her and hopes he can tell her in their next lifetime. She is grateful to Sam for giving her a sense of closure and embraces her, which then leaves Sam in an euphoric trance.

As is Flower’s usual way, she is confused by what is going on after Thor becomes stuck in Freddie’s ghost trap, suggesting that she was not aware that there was a ghost trap on the table, and forgot that Thor had been trapped previously because he touched it. When the other ghosts explain what is going on, she becomes intrigued by the trap on the table and also touches it, trapping her inside with Thor.

In “A Date to Remember,” Flower confronts her intimacy issues when agreeing to a one-on-one date with Thor, her first in many many years. The date goes swimmingly and is even punctuated with a goodnight kiss. Flower admits having a great time (to herself) but when Thor attempts to talk about it with her, she feigns as though she has no idea what happened. This encourages Thor to re-do the entire date over again in hopes that Flower might remember their magical evening together. She almost gets away with getting Thor to believe that she actually forgot until she slipped up during Pete’s improv act, telling Sam that she said “staples” the night before. She admits that she didn’t want the date to go well. She later reveals that while in law school (I know right!) she had a very close relationship which ended truamatically when her beau (presumably her fiance) got sick and passed away. From that point on, she was scared of getting too involved with any one person as she feared it could happen again.

We also learn in this episode that Flower went to law school, making her one of the most educated people in that house, living or dead.

While Flower didn’t initially hide Crash’s head in a tree, like she accidentally admitted to earlier during “Ghost Father of the Bride,” she ends up annoyed by his singing to her while she is trying to watch TV and throw his head out of the window.

In “WhodunnitFlower is excited to learn that a Nigerian prince has reached out to Pete for help and encourages him to do what he can do to help him. Her hopes of being able to help are initially dashed when Trevor admits that he isn’t supposed to be using the computer after the goings on at Christmas time. But when Trevor returns telling her and Pete that the Prince has written back and that this time he is willing to pay even more for them to send the money to help him, she immediately agrees to “borrow” funds from Jay and Sam’s account so that they can help.

Neither she nor Pete nor Trevor realize it’s a scam before they wire Sam’s money out without her permission or knowledge.

Some information, mainly the ones that are relating to basketball, are from ‘March Madness w/Flower & Pete‘ and haven’t been shared in the series itself.


Flower spends her days of her afterlife dressed in what looks like a hand made ankle-length dress with a white lacy top accented with a knitted blue flower and multi-colored patched skirt. She wears rose-colored glasses over her brown eyes and has long dark brown hair. She wears long earrings, several woven bracelets on her left wrist, a ring one finger of each hand, and a simple necklace. She maintains hair under her arm pits and wears evidence of the bear attack on her right upper back and shoulder blade and scratches across her lower jaw and neck.


  • Flower’s real name is Susan Montero. Sheila Carrasco who plays Flower had input in choosing Susan’s last name and chose Montero which was her abuela’s last name and to honor her Chilean heritage.
  • After Flower’s death, her boyfriend Ira started a chain of fair trade coffee shops and named it “Daisy’s” as that was his nickname for her. These shops are dedicated to her memory as evidenced by its history that is written on each coffee cup.
  • Flower is the third from most recently dead as she died in the late sixties and the third woman who have died on the property, becoming a ghost.
  • Upon believing that Thor is ascending in “Viking Funeral” she confesses her love for him. However, once they see that it’s just lights from a police vehicle and that he is still a ghost, she takes it back stating that she just got caught in the moment.
  • Flower is a mix of Mary and Kitty from BBC’s Ghosts.
  • Much like her character, Sheila Carrasco played basketball growing up and is a big fan of the sport.
  • One of Sheila Carrasco longtime friend Chris Eckert, played a character in one of ‘Ghosts‘ episode. In fact, he portrayed George in “Trevor’s Body” (Season 2, Episode 14).


  • “Hi! I’m Flower. I wandered over to your property from a music festival in the 60s and then I tried to befriend a bear. Drugs were involved.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “Oh let me hit that!” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “They remind of this couple I was married to while I was on the commune, and a little of this couple I was married to when I was in the cult.” - (Season 1, Episode 1 )
  • “Oh hey Hetty! This is fun!” (Season 1, Episode 2)
  • “Hey who’s your favorite boy ghost? I’d say Thor but he really scares me but I kinda like that.” (Season 1, Episode 2)
  • “So then the bear raised his arms to attack me, but the ‘shooms were kicking in and I thought he just wanted a hug. You know how everyone talks about bear hugs? They’re not talking about hugs from actual bears.” (Season 1, Episode 2)
  • “Oh I’m easy just world peace… and an end to bear attacks.” (Season 1, Episode 2)
  • “When I was at Woodstock, I didn’t sleep at all cause I didn’t wanna miss anything especially The Grateful Dead. I was a huge Deadhead which is ironic cause I wasn’t even dead at the time!” (Season 1, Episode 2)
  • “And the man tried to make us wear bras and shave our pits. Drop acid not bombs! Wooo!” (Season 1, Episode 3)
  • “Henry and Margaret Farnsby. Wealthy next door neighbors. Total Squares.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
  • “Yea man they’re all like ‘rules, yay’... ooh butterfly!” (Season 1, Episode 4)
  • “One time my throuple made love without me, just the two of them. How does that even work?” (Season 1, Episode 4)
  • “Pete, you’re taking this too hard. Jerry probably just offered something sexually that you couldn’t and that’s a good thing… he took it off your plate!” (Season 1, Episode 6)
  • “Oh I got a story. Have I ever told you guys about the time I robbed a bank?” (Season 1, Episode 7)
  • “Oh I love love. I also hate tomatoes. And those are a couple of things about me.” (Season 1, Episode 7)
  • “No, Sam. I’m a fraud. I wanted to be a person who helped others but I just helped myself.” (Season 1, Episode 7)
  • “But Ira said ‘Daisy we don’t know the first thing about starting a business’... Yea, that was Ira’s nickname for me cause I was his special flower. Also, cause it’s a weed, and I love weed.” (Season 1, Episode 7)
  • “I was so worried about people like judging me for my biggest mistake but now I see something groovy came out of it. Also is anyone else seeing that color? Is there even a name for that?” (Season 1, Episode 7)
  • “I’m a pacifist, but even I would like to see a little more action.” (Season 1, Episode 8)
  • “She fell down the stairs, and when she woke up she could talk to ghosts and animals.” (Season 1, Episode 8)
  • “I’m sending you really good vibes, Sam.” (Season 1, Episode 10)
  • “Tell him to look at the wallpaper in the bathroom. Trust me!” (Season 1, Episode 10)
  • “Suggest crayons and a coloring book…. I’m an excellent guide!” (Season 1, Episode 10)
  • “I could walk through him again. But it does hurt me alot and also he might start to forget childhood memories.” (Season 1, Episode 10)
  • “Well in the cult, it refers to anyone who had gotten the tattoo and slept with Bruce.” )Season 1, Episode 13)
  • “I can talk basketball with you, Pete… no seriously, I grew up playing. I had three older brothers.” (Season 1, Episode 14)
  • “Well, I wanted to watch the basketball game with Pete, but he only wants to watch with stupid boys. I love basketball. Is that surprising?” (Season 1, Episode 14)
  • “I played in high school. One game I had 20 points in the first half! But then I didn’t score any after that cause I got super high at halftime with our point guard and we got some really good stuff, man! (Laughs).... Wait, what were we talking about?” (Season 1, Episode 14)
  • “I thought that after the sexual revolution that this stuff would get better, that women would really be equal. But now it’s 50 years later and Pete isn’t treating me like an equal… at all.” (Season 1, Episode 14)
  • “You really bummed me out today, man. You’re all like ‘Jay won’t talk to me, wah wah wah’ and the whole time, I’m sitting there waiting to be the Bob Cousy to your Bill Russell… that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you man. Yea, I’m a girl and I’m into other groovy stuff but I know basketball. The pick and roll, the give and go.” (Season 1, Episode 14)
  • “I even played in high school, and I fouled out of every game, Pete, because I am very aggressive! I mean I’ll all for world peace, but if you reach, I will teach!” (Season 1, Episode 14)
  • “I haven’t had roommates since the cult! We were like sisters… well technically sister wives because of the sex.” (Season 1, Episode 15)
  • “I have intimacy issues, man.” (Season 1, Episode 16)
  • “Well Ira and I only worked because it was never just us. We always had a third. First, there was Phyllis, the blanket hog. Then Dorothy, another blanket hog. Blanket politics are really big in throuples. The point is we always had a buffer to keep things from getting too intense. Sorry.” (Season 1, Episode 16)
  • “Good news! I have a surprise! Well I was getting a sense that you were a little nervous about the whole finding a third thing. But of course, I still have my hang ups about the whole one on one thing, so I found a compromise. It’s Crash’s body! Well I figured this is like a happy medium, the two and a half solution, if you will.” (Season 1, Episode 16)
  • “I trusted you, man! And you stole our money!” (Season 1, Episode 17)
  • “It’s so rude. Telling you that the hot, foreign exchange student had a crush on you?” (Season 1, Episode 17)
  • “Oh hey, it’s those neighbor people.” (Season 1, Episode 18)
  • “Sam, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me since shrooms, which did lead to my death but which then led to you. Thanks, shrooms!” (Season 1, Episode 18)
  • ”I slept on a boat tarp once with several members of Fleetwood Mac. Little uncomfortable but super easy cleanup.” (Season 2, Episode 1)
  • “Oh hey Hetty! You yelling at the washing machine? That’s cool.” (Season 2, Episode 2)
  • “You know, there’s an upside to a broken washing machine… just sit on it… just trust me!” (Season 2, Episode 2)
  • “Wait, Hetty, do you really not know what was happening on the washing machine? It was making you aroused.” (Season 2, Episode 2)
  • “It’s your body, isn’t it? You’re in charge of it, right? … Look, being ashamed of female pleasure was just some BS thing that men thought up to control women. There is nothing wrong with feeling good, Hetty. And you don’t need a man’s permission.” (Season 2, Episode 2)
  • “You know, you don’t need a washing machine to achieve the feeling!” (Season 2, Episode 2)
  • “Do not hug them! You’re gonna wanna hug them, but dont!” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “It looked amazing. Smell wise, I would rank it somewhere between patchoulli and weed!” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “That’s because it’s not a pyramid scheme. It’s a cult! … Well he’s not in yet, but it’s looking good!” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “Sam, this is a good thing! He’s gonna make life-long friends.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “Okay, be careful! Because sometimes when a family member asks someone to choose between them and the cult, they choose the cult.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “Okay that’s not nice to point out, I wanna say…Larry?” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “(Claping) Yay! Larry’s in!” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “The one about my brother? Where was I? Right, well, back when I was in the cult, my brother showed up and he tried to get me to come home. So the cult banned him from the property and barred me from ever speaking to him again. If only he never tried to get me out of that cult!” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “Huh… nobody ever talks about a cult being in the wrong.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “There actually is one fool-proof way to break up a cult, and it’s so easy! … Nothing breaks up a cult faster than an outsider sleeping with the leader.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “Oh no. After I got out of the cult, I’d heard he’d been killed in Vietnam, so… I wish I had been there to convince him not to go. He spent his whole life protecting me. The one time my big brother needed protecting, I wasn’t there for him. He was M.I.A.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “Wait, is this true? I am so proud of you, Sam!” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “Robbie’s alive!? He’s A.I.A?!” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “ ‘Dear Mooncow, thank you so much for reaching out. All these years, I thought my little sister died hating me. To learn that she didn’t fills me with a great peace. She was the kindest person I’ve ever met and I loved her so much. I wish I’da told her more often in this world, but maybe I’ll get a chance to in the next. Forever grateful, Rob.’ Thanks Mooncow. That’s groovy. That’s really, really groovy!” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “(Gasp) We could protest. In my day, we were always protesting to protect the environment. Once, I took acid to save the snow leopards. Wait! Are there still snow leopards? You’re welcome!” (Season 2, Episode 4)
  • “Boo! Although I support your woman-owned business. But boo to the tree thing!” (Season 2, Episode 4)
  • “Hey, Thor, could I talk to you for a second? Cool, cool. So, listen, I think it is so great that you want to turn people onto the environment, but you can’t just make everyone feel bad about themselves… …well when we protested the war in Vietnam, we didn’t just yell at people all day. We went to music festivals and did lots of drugs, you see what I mean?” (Season 2, Episode 4)
  • “Thor. I thought it was really cool, what you did with Sas’ Friend Zone… …You did something for the environment, but you also did it in a way that inspired people. I’m impressed.” (Season 2, Episode 4)
  • “In the cult, when two people had a problem, we’d lock them in a room together until they worked it out. Or killed each other, but these two are already dead, so we’re golden!” (Season 2, Episode 5)
  • “What if a wall were made out of couch? Would I not be able to go through that?” (Season 2, Episode 6)
  • “Dude, Denmark is actually pretty cool. I mean, I’ve never been, but I used to buy Whippets from a Danish guy at Dead shows and was really cool.” (Season 2, Episode 6)
  • “Thor, he traveled half the world and waited a thousand years just to find you. That’s more work than I put in to meet David Crosby.” (Season 2, Episode 6)
  • “That cloud looks like a banana, eating a banana. Whoa bananabalism.” (Season 2, Episode 7)
  • “So the show would be making fun of me? I don’t love that.” (Season 2, Episode 7)
  • “Sam, I said no. I don’t want to look dumb. Tell this lady and that guy that we are not interested.” (Season 2, Episode 7)
  • “Oh, is that why he didn’t want to be our third? It’s okay. There’s still stuff you can do.” (Season 2, Episode 7)
  • “She’s an art history major, and he’s a frat guy trying to prove he’s not a douche by bringing her to this classy event. (Season 2, Episode 8)
  • “Oh right. When Pete tried to kiss Alberta and then she palmed his face like a basketball.” (Season 2, Episode 9)
  • “Issac, it’s been months! I’ve slept with him and his bass player by now.” (Season 2, Episode 9)
  • “I’m really good at interpreting dreams. It was kinda my thing in the cult. That and tracking down runners.” (Season 2, Episode 9)
  • “Security camera? That’s creepy! I don’t want to be watched!” (Season 2, Episode 12)
  • “You marked a tree when a girl said ‘Hi’ to you. What are you gonna do now? Write a rock opera?” (Season 2, Episode 12)
  • “Well, one good thing is she has so many opportunities for sexual fulfillment, all the responsiblity won’t just fall to you.” (Season 2, Episode 12)
  • “This is how people fought over toilets at Woodstock. Everyone loves sharing until they have to poop.” (Season 2, Epsiode 12)
  • “Ooh I call first hit.” (Season 2, Episode 13)
  • "Oh my God, you guys! Thor’s stuck in a ghost trap! Oh my God. I’m in here with him.” (Season 2, Episode 13)
  • “Well, it seems like we’re gonna die. Again… …Aww that’s nice. I like when you say stuff like that. More so than when you talk about dismembering Danish people.” (Season 2, Episode 13)
  • “And you inspired me, Pete. You faced your fears, and it showed me that I should face mine, too… … I’m gonna go on a date with Thor. Just Thor.” (Season 2, Episode 13)
  • “Sam, there’s an older couple walking in, arguing about where to get the best bagel in Mahattan.” (Season 2, Episode 14)
  • “Ooh, respectable schmeckal. Good band name.” (Season 2, Episode 14)
  • (To Issac) “We’re trying to figure out whether or not to tell Issac that Nigel cheated on him… …I know, it’s a toughie.” (Season 2, Episode 14)
  • “Oh, this is so nerve-racking. If these two don’t end up together, Trevor will never be born!” (Season 2, Episode 14)
  • “Yay, you’re going to exist!” (Season 2, Episode 14)
  • “Your mom’s all horned up.” (Season 2, Episode 14)
  • “Well, no, cause I’m in this room, duh.” (Season 2, Episode 15)
  • “Wow. It’s been a long time since I was on a regular two-person date. I used to go on alot of three-person dates, some four. There was one date I don’t have a totally accurate number for, but it was however many people could fit in a VW Bus.” (Season 2, Episode 15)
  • “Um, it was with this guy, Michael. And we just… hung out and listened to music.” (Season 2, Episode 15)
  • “You have a gift, Pete!” (Season 2, Episode 15)
  • “I had such a great time, Thor. All that stuff you planned, and you didn’t mention murder even once… … I think you’ve got a pretty good chance. Thor, tonight was perfect.” (Season 2, Episode 15)
  • “Oh yea, what’d you get up to?” (Season 2, Episode 15)
  • “Ugh, I”m so bad at those. I want to say…April 35? No, that sounds wrong.” (Season 2, Episode 15)
  • “Because, if it went well, then Thor and I could end up together, and it might be really amazing and we could fall in love… …Sam, don’t you see? Good things don’t last. And I don’t want to get hurt again. Not after what happened with Michael.” (Season 2, Episode 15)
  • “Well not always in law school. A lot of times, we were outdoors, walking from one building to another… …We were planning a wedding for after we graduated. But the universe had other plans. That was my last one- on-one date. I didn’t want to feel that kind of pain again, so I never allowed myself to get close to just one person, even Ira. But last night with Thor, it made me feel like I could be happy with just him, and it was scary.” (Season 2, Episode 15)
  • “It was probably the most moving testicle story I’ve ever heard.” (Season 2, Episode 15)
  • “I may forget alot of stuff, but I always remember the important things. Like our date. And that kiss in the hallway.” (Season 2, Episode 15)
  • “Thor, we need to talk. If we’re gonna date, I think you need to work on your anger. I mean, I’m a hippie, man. I need good vibes.” (Season 2, Episode 16)
  • “Yeah, about that…I think you should just be yourself. It wasn’t fair of me to ask you to change who you are. Maybe two people shouldn’t be exactly the same. Maybe it’s good that we’re opposites. Also, watching you sit there and act like Pete was a real turn-off. And when you got angry at that Dane…I kind of liked it.” (Season 2, Episode 16)
  • “Oh he served food. He also wrote a rock opera, and finished an adult coloring book.” (Season 2, Episode 17)
  • “Yeah, you should really leave the cooking to Jay, Sam.” (Season 2, Episode 17)
  • “(gasps) There was chicken!” (Season 2, Episode 17)
  • “And in my experience, more drugs usually are the answer.” (Season 2, Episode 17)
  • “Yeah, but Jay needs a muse, and I’m willing to be that. I did it for David Crosby, and his back hair looked like he was wearing a sweater vest.” (Season 2, Episode 17)
  • “This is just like David Crosby’s crisis of confidence. Okay, there is a bathroom ont he second floor of the Capitol Records building. You need to have sex with Jay in there.” (Season 2, Episode 17)
  • “Susan. Why is that name familiar?” (Season 2, Episode 17)
  • “Let me put it like this, if either of these two have a van, they’re both gonna be in it soon.” (Season 2, Episode 18)
  • “Hetty’s in Congress?” (Season 2, Episode 18)
  • “I-I can’t wait to find out who their third is.” (Season 2, Episode 18)
  • “She made love to those chops the way I made love to the rhythm section of Country Joe and the Fish.” (Season 2, Episode 18)
  • “(gasps) Did my own sister murder me?” (Season 2, Episode 18)
  • “Yeah. They never tell you about all the downsides.” (Season 2, Episode 19)
  • “Oh my God, who? This is so exciting… …wait, what did I do?... …Okay, fine! I did it! I hid Crash’s head.” (Season 2, Episode 19)
  • “Oh, because of your hairstyles.” (Season 2, Episode 19)
  • “I’m kinda watching something.” (Season 2, Episode 19)
  • “We’re going on a double date with Trevor and Hetty at some unspecified point in the near future.” (Season 2, Episode 20)
  • “Oh, I didn’t know about this owl. I love owls.” (Season 2, Episode 20)
  • “Barberella!” (Season 2, Episode 20)
  • “And now they’re stronger than ever. Just like me and Thor, who love owls.” (Season 2, Episode 20)
  • “But she couldn’t stop us. Owls.” (Season 2, Episode 20)
  • “So the prince wants us to send him 1000 bucks so he can bribe the guards, get out of prison, reclaim his fortune, and then he’ll pay us back?” (Season 2, Epsiode 21)
  • “So we’re not gonna help the prince? But he’s the only person who can rally the people to take down the military junta.” (Season 2, Epsiode 21)
  • “We could rob a bank… …Who told you? Was it Jan? Was it Starburst?” (Season 2, Epsiode 21)
  • “I’m in. Even though I’ve never committed a crime and I definately haven’t robbed a bank.” (Season 2, Epsiode 21)
  • “Oh I can’t wait to tell Sam and Jay. They’re going to be so happy with us.” (Season 2, Epsiode 21)
  • “Okay, so he lied to us about being a prince. But at least we helped someone get off of Snake Island. And that’s what’s important.” (Season 2, Epsiode 21)
  • “We could rob a bank. I’m admitting it now. I’ve done it. It’s not that hard.” (Season 2, Epsiode 21)
  • “Trevor’s right. I mean, yeah, maybe we got tricked, but it didn’t even end up costing us.” (Season 2, Epsiode 21)
  • “Hetty, Alberta wants me to tell you that- Wait, I just had it.” (Season 2, Episode 22)
  • “You should donate the money. Save the narwhals.” (Season 2, Episode 22)
  • (Gasp) “New roomie! I’m gonna braid your hair while you’re sleeping.” (Season 2, Episode 22)
  • “Not every conversation has to make sense! We’re gonna have so much fun! Yay!” (Season 2, Episode 22)