Samantha

Played by: Rose McIver
Family members: Hetty Woodstone (her great-great-great-great-grandmother), Elias Woodstone (her her great-great-great-great-grandfather) Sheryl (her mother), Jay (her husband), Sophia Woodstone (her great-aunt)
Abilities: See and hear ghosts
Occupation: Freelance writer, Entrepreneur, Bed and Breakfast Owner

Personality

Considered rather impulsive, Sam has a can-do attitude and dreams big. Upon learning that she has inherited a large estate from her great Aunt Sophie, whom she’d only met once, she immediately gets excited with the prospects of moving away from the city and opening a bed and breakfast with her husband, Jay. When she first arrives at the house, she is excited for all the potential the property has. Sam has a colorful personality which is highlighted by her desire to decorate all the rooms in different themes and paint them each bright and bold colors. This action is symbolic of Sam’s overall positive outlook, especially when facing difficult tasks or situations. When Jay worries about how much work the house will need just to be safe for dwelling, Sam tells him that they can fix it up. As they are preparing the house to open as a Bed and Breakfast, she takes advantage of every opportunity that will help their future business get on the map. She jumps at the opportunity to allow an Alberta Haynes fan to stay the night as a dry run for dealing with guests (“Alberta’s Fan”). She becomes super excited when famous influencers choose the Woodstone Mansion as the venue for their wedding and readily invites a notoriously hard-to-please wedding planner to the home to check out the accommodations and try a sample menu (“Possession”). She reasons that any new experience is worth a try because it will help her grow and become better.

As most of us would be, Sam is initially very leery of the ghosts, responding at first with shock and fear, not understanding who they are or why they are there. The day after her return to the Woodstone Mansion following her release from the hospital, she approaches each room with caution, concerned that a ghost might be in there with her. In “Hello” as she enters the bathroom, she notices something stirring the shower curtain. She approaches with caution but upon pulling it back, she discovers that it is only a bird. She appears relieved but as she turns around she sees Pete, a ghost of a scout leader from the 1980s with an arrow through his neck. She immediately screams which causes Pete to scream and quickly grabs the nearest thing she can (a plunger) to chase him away. She follows him as he runs through the door. Of course, she is mortal so she ends up crashing into the door instead and falls onto her back, hitting her head once again. After talking to Jay who tells her that whatever she is seeing are the results of her head injury, she decides to simply ignore the ghosts who have in turn decided to keep pestering her until she acknowledges their existence. Once she finally realizes that the ghosts must be real, as she is able to see different ones in different locations, she comes to accept them as a part of the house and over time and creates a friendship with them, often agreeing to help them deal with what she perceives as unfinished business.

Sam earns a living as a freelance writer. When Issac, a ghost from the Revolutionary War, discovers her profession, he asks her to pen his biography so that his story can be told like that of his rival, Alexander Hamilton. She agrees and we see them discussing his life story in “Hello” After moving into the Woodstone Mansion, she goes out for a writing position at the Ulster County Review (“Flower’s Article”). We see how her choice to become a writer conflicts with what her mother wanted for her in “Sam’s Mom”. In this episode, Sam decides to return to her home state of Ohio to visit the restaurant, Mojitown, where her mother, Sheryl, died of due to a severe allergic reaction to shellfish. While her mother was still alive, Sam faced a lot of pressure from her to pursue a career that would yield more success.

Sam is a kind woman, often seeking to help the ghosts when she can. In “Viking Funeral”, she agrees to give Thorfinn a traditional viking funeral after the contractor tells her and Jay that workers had discovered bones in the front yard. She believes that this could perhaps help him move on, In “Flower’s Article”, she tries to help Sass communicate with his long-lost love, Shiki, through a series of text messages, and ends up just telling her how much Sass is still in love with her. In “Trevor’s Pants“, Sam encourages Thorfinn to talk to Flower about his feelings for her stating that he had such a good therapy session and he is ready to have difficult conversations.

In “Pete’s Wife”, she agrees to invite Pete’s widow, Carol, to the house so that Pete can see her again. She also reminds Pete of the importance of forgiveness after Pete finds out that Carol had had an affair with his best friend, Jerry while he was still alive. During a makeshift memorial in his honor, Sam reads an insert about this virtue from his Pinecone Trooper handbook which encourages Pete to let go of his anger and forgive his wife.

In “D&D”, Sam agrees to be the liaison between Pete and Jay so that Jay can continue to play Dungeons and Dragons after getting the boot from the group with whom he used to play in New York City. Within the same episode, she meets three British soldiers from the Revolutionary War. Lead by Lt.Col Nigel Chessum of his Majesty’s Armed Forces, the soldiers approach the house and demand that the door to the shed, where they stay, be replaced at once. Sam simply agrees and asks if there is anything else that she can do for them.

Furthermore, she engages in therapy for Thorfinn in “Thorapy” in an effort to help him confront his nightly terrors and trauma stemming from him having to kill a squirrel that he befriended during this lifetime, and had named “Oskar”. Sam told Thor that he didn’t do anything wrong by killing the squirrel because he did what he had to do to survive after being abandoned by his shipmates.

Sam also suffers from a bit of anxiety surrounding the opening of the bed and breakfast. In “Ghostwriter” we see Sam continue to put off finishing the website for the B&B, which is the final step before they can officially open for business and start taking reservations. At the beginning of the episode, Sam finds every reason to avoid working on the website, including sitting with Pete and Jay and translating the basketball game between them and watching YouTube videos of dogs being reunited with their owners. Sass catches her doing this and Sam admits that she is stuck on ideas and that writing is stressful for her. He offers to help her, since he is a storyteller and at first, Sam is appreciative of the offer and accepts. However, when Sass tells Sam his idea about telling the story of the Woodstone Mansion from the perspective of a tree named “Woody”, she doesn’t like it at all. They both are stubborn and each wants their ideas to be the one used for the website, thus creating a creative standstill. The two fight, and in trying to get Sam to see things his way, Sass recruits Trevor to type his ideas down on Sam’s laptop. Instead, they accidently delete the website all together. When Sam and Jay discover what happened, Sass and Trevor confess and much to their and Jay’s surprise, she is not upset at all, stating that it was an accident. When Jay tells her to yell at the ghosts, she admits that the website needs to be perfect and if it’s not perfect then no one will come and she would’ve dragged Jay away from their home and jobs in New York City for nothing. Upon hearing this confession, Sass confronts her about her nervousness. She tells him that after the website is finished and launched, then the prospect of having a business becomes real and she is afraid that her and Jay will have no recourse should the project fail.

Sam’s anxiety also manifests itself when she receives criticism. (“Spies‘). She would rather bend over backward to please others than have them say anything negative to, or about, her.

In “Sam’s Mom”, Sam is nervous about seeing her mom for the first time following her death, hoping that she’s done enough to prove her wrong regarding her career choice and that she will finally feel that her mom is finally proud of her.

And there is a hint that Sam might be feeling overwhelmed with the fact that she can now talk to ghosts and feels a burden with having to care for them. Jay suggests that she also talk to a therapist during “Thorapy” to help with managing such a complex ability.

Sam is someone who can think quickly on her feet, especially when trying to convince someone of something. In the “Pilot” episode, upon learning from the family attorney that she’s inherited this enormous property and hearing that among the potential buyers for a property this size are bed and breakfast operators, she impulsively decides that she and her husband should open a bed and breakfast instead of selling the house. She then goes on to tell Jay how living in the city is not a good idea any longer since they work long hours with nothing to show for it. She tells Jay that since he’s a chef that would take care of half the requirements for a B&B and that since she can write freelance articles from anywhere, the income garnered from that could help support them while they get the business off the ground. This argument convinces Jay to at least agree to go to the property for the weekend, check it out, and then talk a little more about their options, including the possibility of opening a bed and breakfast. In “Hello,” when finding that Jay is having difficulty believing that Sam can see and hear ghosts, she leads Jay downstairs to the basement where a cluster of ghosts who died of cholera stay. Up until this point, Jay had been having difficulty with figuring out how to turn on the water heater. As these ghosts have been downstairs for quite some time, they have become experts at how the water heater functions. Sam is able to guide Jay in fixing the water heater with input from the ghosts. She then tells him “see, how else would I have known that?”.

In “The Vault Sam and Jay were in desperate need for income as the wedding they had previously booked fell through thanks to the shenanigans of her fourth great grandfather. However, they were able to recover an expensive watch that he had on his ghostly person and that was only on his corpse and realized that they could sell it as it was more than likely worth a fortune. In “Trevor’s Pants”, Sam announces that the jeweler they had given the watch to had found a potential buyer for the watch and that he was coming to the mansion to check it out before finalizing the sale. The buyer is Ari Cantor, who is a former colleague and friend to Trevor. Trevor then tells Sam (in addition to Alberta, Sasappis, Issac, and Hetty) about the night he and his work friends came to the Woodstone Mansion to celebrate another colleague’s promotion (Pinkus). For reference, one of Trevor’s friends is David Woodstone whose mother, Sophie Woodstone and unnamed husband, owned the estate. During Ari’s visit, Trevor longs to reminisce about his life with Ari so he asks Sam to act as a “translator.” As Ari is examining the watch he intends to buy, she asks him if he knew Trevor, speaking as if she had heard his name from her uncle, in the few times he might have talked to her. She claims that her uncle told her about the time that he, Trevor, and their crew from work was at the Woodstone Mansion to celebrate Pinkus’ promotion. Ari immediately sidesteps the question and rushes off to make a phone call.

When Hetty and Alberta overhear Ari’s phone call, they conclude that he was involved in something sketchy involving Trevor’s death, and they tell the others. This leads Sam to question what really happened on the night Trevor died. She learns from Sasappis how Trevor really lost his pants, which was in an act of kindness and selflessness toward Pinkus. He also reveals that Trevor was in fact betrayed by his so-called “bros” and that they had covered up his death. Upon hearing this, Sam wants to do something to help make Trevor feel better and agrees to help get revenge on Ari. She writes down on a piece of paper “I know what you did.”-T. Money, and hides a bottle of Chekhov Chill in the old “drug drawer.” Officially freaked out, Ari offers double the asking price of the old watch and asks that no one speaks of this day again. She then notices the bottle in his hand and suggests that he is supposed to do something with it, stating that she doesn’t make the rules.

In “Dinner Party”, Sam and Jay invite their next door neighbors, the Farnsbys over for dinner. Later, as Jay is preparing the meal for the evening, she tells him that they should “butter them up” during dinner and then re-open the discussion about the bed and breakfast.

During the course of the Dinner Party”, she realizes that a surefire way to impress the Farnsbys and win their approval for the Bed and Breakfast permit, she pretends to know alot about their favorite show “Newhart.” Of course she must ask the ghosts for help as she doesn’t know any of this information on her own. She also maintains that she loves jazz and that she believes that young people do not have any appreciation for the things that came before them. She almost convinces them to approve the permit but they are adamant about her and Jay making a rather large donation which could be perceived as a bride. Upon leaving the table, the ghosts overhear the Farnsbys talk about their pickleball court that they knocked down a carriage house to build. Knowing that this goes against several historical building codes, the ghosts divulge this information to Sam who then calls the Farnsbys out on their hypocrisy. She is able to attain the permit without making any donations to do so.

In “Alberta’s Fan“, Sam convinces her husband to allow an Alberta Haynes enthusiast to stay as the unofficial first guest of their B&B, saying that it will be sort of a practice run for how to deal with guests when they officially open for business. She agrees to allow him to borrow some of Jay’s pjs and offers him a home-cooked meal for a more “personal touch.”

In “Possession”, in an effort to help Hetty’s spirit get out of Jay’s body, she arranges a DIY exorcism while simultaneously distracting/entertaining the wedding planner so as to protect their chances of being booked for their first wedding. With the priest not able to come until after the wedding planner’s visit, Sam does her best to excuse or rationalize Jay’s behavior as he is possessed by Hetty’s spirit and his words are not his own.

She also is readily able to speak up for herself and stand firm in her decisions. In “Hello”, after acknowledging that the ghosts exist and after they ask her to leave, she tells them firmly that she and Jay are staying because the Woodstone Mansion is their home now. She then sets clear boundaries so that the ghosts will respect her and Jay’s space and privacy. In “Dinner Party,” she asks the ghost to leave her and Jay alone so that they can successfully persuade their next door neighbors, the Farnsbys, to approve their request to open a bed and breakfast. The ghosts object to this idea, stating that a B&B would bring about too many people and subsequently chaos. Sam responds by stating that if they are not able to open this hotel, then they will have to move and whoever buys the house next won’t have the ability she has to see, hear, and do things for the ghosts to help make their afterlives more enjoyable. In “Halloween” after learning that the ghosts burned down the gazebo by accident but then blamed it on the kids who egged the house earlier that evening, she lets them know that their actions were unacceptable and passes down consequences for their behavior in the form of no TV for one week.

In “Attic Girl“, although Sam’s initial meeting with Stephanie, the teenage ghost, doesn’t go very well, Sam is enthusiastic about Stephanie’s idea to throw a ghost prom. However, Stephanie suggests that there be no livings allowed at the prom, which saddens Sam. When she suggests that she just stop by for a little bit, Stephanie is adamant that she is not needed and that she’d be doing Sam a big favor by keeping the ghosts out of her way since she and Jay are busy preparing for their first guests. Sam is very hurt and a bit angered by this and is reminded of her own unfortunate experience surrounding her prom. After Pete hears of Sam’s bad prom experience, he relays the story to Stephanie, hoping that she will change her mind and invite Sam to ghost prom. However, she learns that her story only gave fuel to Stephanie’s initial dislike of Sam when a grocery bag filled with baguettes is delivered to the house for a “Mrs. Pierre LaCroix”, by way of the Amazon Echo. After the ghosts decide not to attend the prom after learning that Stephanie’s prank was to make Sam feel worse about her own prom experience, they apologize to Sam for her actions and swear that they would’ve never gone along with it had they known it was in an effort to upset her. They then tell Sam that they got her back and left Stephanie by herself. Sam worries about leaving Stephanie alone on the one night a year she is awake and on the very night that she wanted to have a ghost prom in an effort to recreate the event she missed as a teenager. Sam decides to do something nice for Stephanie and surprises her with a decorated dining room, re-creating what prom in 1987 might have looked like, complete with popular songs from the 1980s. Afterwards, Sam cleans out the attic and decorates it for Stephanie to help her feel more comfortable in her space. She even gives her a poster of her favorite band, U2, to hang next to her bed, much to Hetty’s chigrin.

In “Farnsby & B“, Sam shows great frustration when she and Jay lose two bookings for their B&B to their neighbors, the Farnsby, who in spite of the couple have opened their own B&B to thwart their business. When their bad luck worsens (the termite damage in the basement and the falling of their crystal chandelier), Thorfinn admits to Sam and Jay that he put a curse ont he couple when they first moved in and spoke of their plans of opening a B&B. He is convinced that that is why their bad luck continues. At first, Sam doesn’t believe in the curse, but when Jay and Alberta both say that one should never poke fun at a curse. So, then Sam agrees to find out how to break the curse which only involves mixing a pound of sugar and a pinch of cinnamon. When the ghosts say that there is a small chance that reversing the curse could also cause Sam not to be able to see or hear them anymore, she decides not to go through with creating the antidote. She insteads decides to fix the things in the house that needs fixing and beat the Farnsby at their own game.

She and Jay invite the Farnsby over and challenge them to a game of Pickleball. She offers that if they win, the Farnsby will close their B&B and if they lose, they will sell the house. In the middle of the game, Mr. Farnsby hurts his back and Sam and Jay win by default. As such, the Farnsby close their B&B, forcing their guests who were originally Sam and Jay’s guests to go to the Woodstone B&B to finish out their stay. Sam exclaims that they beat the curse or that their was no curse to begin with and reasons with Jay that they were able to get to open their B&B. But upon opening the door to welcome their first guests, the termite damage they were told about in the beginning of the episode, finally gives way and the couple fall through the floor. Sam states frantically that there’s no curse and that they will fix the floor.

While Sam has the ability to stand up for herself, as was evident in “Hello”, she also seems to be easily persuaded by the ghosts as her relationships with them grow stronger. For example, there have been plenty of opportunities for her to make money that would help her fledgling business and could help with the perpetual repairs of the Woodstone Mansion. Examples include the selling of Thor’s bones to a museum or the use of the mansion to tape an episode for a television show. However, if the ghosts show to be against the idea, she more often than not goes along with the ghosts, even if it means missing out on an opportunity to help herself and her husband.

History

Sam was born and raised in Ohio as an only child. She graduated from Northwestern University with a focus on journalism, a decision of which her mother was not supportive. After college, she moved to New York City to pursue a career in writing where she met her husband Jay, an aspiring chef.

During this time and six years prior to the start of our story, Sam’s mother, Sheryl, passed away during a lunch outing at Mojitown from a severe allergic reaction to a dish containing shellfish. Sam and her mom have a rather contentious relationship that developed after Sam chose to pursue journalism instead of her mom’s preferred law profession. The last time she saw her mom was at Thanksgiving where they argued due to Sam’s choosing journalism over law and she has carried that guilt with her for the past six years.

Sam and Jay are typical millennials trying to make ends meet while living in one of the most expensive cities in America. Before moving to Woodstone Mansion, they lived in a very small, overpriced apartment. Upon hearing that she’s inherited the massive property following the death of her great aunt, she initially considers the idea of selling the property, but then contemplates keeping it and turning it into a bed and breakfast.

During their initial visits to the home, Sam and Jay are very excited about the potential opportunities it could bring, despite it being very old and needing a lot of work. They have no idea that the place is haunted. As with most motals, Sam and Jay cannot hear or see anything out of the ordinary, most certainly not ghosts. After walking into one of the rooms on the first floor, Sam’s first order of business while in the house is to light some sage to ward off any negative energy or evil spirits, stating it’s “old house 101”. When they hear that Sam and Jay plan to turn it into a hotel, the ghosts decide to turn on the couple, hoping to haunt them out of the house so they can have it back to themselves and avoid a plethora of unwanted visitors.

Upon storming out of one of the bedrooms after argument with Jay, she trips over a vase that Trevor had earlier knocked onto the floor and falls down the stairs, hitting her head on the hardwood floors.

Sam is put into a medically induced coma for two weeks before awakening and returning to the house. As the car pulls up, the ghosts gather at one of the large windows and Hetty expresses relief that she is okay. Jay tells her that her accident helped him see how important keeping the house was to her and financially arranged everything so that they could stay, including taking out loans and maxing out credit cards to afford the repairs. The construction workers and the contractor arrive at the house at the same time they do and upon walking into the house for the first time in two weeks, Sam looks around and is able to see Trevor, a ghost who died in the early 2000s and who does not wear pants but wears his suit jacket shirt and tie. She comments to him that he is dressed nicely for a construction worker which freaks Trevor out and warrants him to tell the others that Sam saw and spoke to him. As Sam continues upstairs and enters into one of the rooms, she is touched to see that Jay had the room painted canary yellow, the Same color she was contemplating painting the wall before her accident. She then sees the ghosts, one by one, enter the Same room through the walls. Sam is initially shocked to see all these entities at once, not believing it to be real. She then becomes straight up terrified when a head-less ghost named Crash enters last and screams in horror.

In the first few days following her return home, Sam is convinced that she is simply experiencing the after effects of her head injury and that the ghosts are simply hallucinations. The ghosts are disappointed and frustrated by this and are determined to pester her until she comes to accept that they are real and acknowledges their presence. After grabbing a screwdriver for Jay as he is attempting to fix the water heater in the basement, she discovers that there are more ghosts in the house. She erroneously calls them zombies as they have a more “dead-like” appearance than the ghosts upstairs.

As she was previously looking up psychotic breaks prior to coming to the basement and then upon seeing these ghosts in addition to the other ones, she tells Jay that she needs to go back to the hospital straight away to talk to someone about these “hallucinations”. Before leaving, however, the ghosts beg for her to tell Jay to turn off the red valve which she does, albeit not fully understanding why. When she gets there, she meets a “doctor” who confirms that her head injury brought on the ability to see ghosts as she can see him. As it turns out this man was a doctor during his lifetime but presently resides in the hospital as a ghost. She also sees three more ghosts on the way home and is convinced that if she were experiencing hallucinations, she’d see the Same ghosts from the house everywhere she went. She concludes that she simply has these powers now, that she is not crazy, and accepts this gift as a part of her new reality. When she returns home, she confronts the ghosts and establishes boundaries. She asks each ghost what they want in return for respecting her space and privacy. And thus begins her relationship with 8 very unique spirits from very different parts of history.

In “Attic Girl,” we learn that Sam had a deep interest in all things French culture. During high school, she had a French pen pal named Pierre LaCroix. He told her that he would be coming to America and wanted to take her to her Prom. However, on Prom night, no one showed and she finds out that her “penpal” was actually a mean girl in her class who played a terrible prank on her. They then drove by her house, and threw baguettes at her. Sam’s encounter with Stephanie, the teenage ghost who dwells in the attic, reminds her of this horrible memory from her own teenage years as Stephanie used this story to make a prank on her, using Alberta to deliver french baguettes to Sam via Amazon Echo (Alexa).

In the season two premiere, “Spies”, Sam and Jay are expecting their first guests since the accident from the season one finale. She admits that she is nervous, telling the Ghosts that she really wants to ensure that these new guests have a much better experience than the previous ones. As such, she and Jay ask the Ghosts to stay out of the guests’ way and to avoid using their powers. This does not bode well for the Ghosts as they find spying on livings one of the only sources of entertainment in their afterlives.

Upon the arrival of guests, Debbie and Tom, Sam greets them cheerfully and she and Jay offer them a signature cocktail. This gesture impresses the guests and she remarks that these personal touches are what sets them apart from other bed and breakfasts. Initially, she feels positive with how the initial interaction between her and Jay and Debbie and Tom went, but Pete is wary, suggesting that even though they might come across as polite, they may be very hard to please. This warning prompts her and Jay to do research on the couple where they come across a plethora of negative reviews they’ve left on Yelp. While Jay suggests that they just do their best to appease Debbie and Tom (since they did leave a few positive reviews), Alberta suggests that the ghosts could spy on the couple to see what they are really saying behind closed doors. Sam thinks that it might not be such a bad idea for the ghosts to spy on the guests since it could help her and Jay earn a high review. However, Jay believes it’s unethical and creepy, and states that with good customer service, they can meet the high expectations set before them. Sam then agrees, to Jay’s face, that no one will spy on the couple, but once he leaves the room, she agrees to the ghosts’ plan to spy.

When Sam makes her initial check on Tom and Debbie, she learns from the Ghosts that they are not pleased with the sheets, towels, and toilet paper in the room. When she asks them if they’d like for her to change what she says to be the summer sheets, they tell her that everything is fine. However, Sam insists that she change them and proceeds to try to amend the guests’ complaints. She later finds out that Tom and Debbie did not like Jay’s chocolate chip cookies she brought to them earlier and that they think that she is too chatty. During dinner, she also finds out that they think she tends to hover, that her voice is too high, that she slouches too much, and that the pattern on her grandmother’s butter dish resembles something Satanic. This newfound criticism of her makes Sam uneasy and anxious, causing her to overextend herself in a failing effort to please these people.

Business is picking up for Sam and Jay’s B&B! By “Jay’s Friends”, Sam has become very knowledaable about the area surrounding her home and is effortlessly able to assisst customers in finding their way around common attractions and advising on how to safely explore the Hudson Valley. Thus far, her and Jay’s business has only attracted a small, specific customer base, such as nature enthusiasts and antiquers and she is motivated to find a way to expand their clientele. When Jay comes back from his pick up basketball game and mentions that he met some people who he then invited over to watch the basketball game, Sam is excited that Jay put himself out there and made some friends. She then acknwoledges to the ghosts that the move from the city has been difficult on Jay since he left an entire life behind. And unlike her, who have the ghosts to communicate with, Jay has been on his own.

The next day, when Jay is entertaining his new friends, and after Trevor has warned Sam about Jay possibly being seduced into a pyramid scheme, Sam, at the behest of Hetty, approaches the group to inquire about the company or business to which they belong. She notices the patches on their arms, and asks about them. When told that they consist of an essntial blend of vitamins, she pushes further to inquire if any of that is based on science, to which they respond that the recipe came to their leader, Micah, in a dream. Flower then exclaims that these people belong to a cult, rather than a pyramid scheme, which greatly alarms Sam. She is frustrated at the fact that as soon as Jay makes some friends, they turn out to to be in a cult. She is worried about her husband getting hurt since there are not alot of people their age in their town, and it seemed that he was really excited about finally meeting some new people with similar interests. As Jay is telling Sam about how incredible Micah is, she tells him without hesitation that his new friends are in a cult and that Micah is the cult leader. She explains that Flower made this observation, having recognized all the signs. When Jay says that Micah is helping them out in giving them ten boxes of patches for free, she further warns him that he does not want to be in business with him. Of course, she is skeptical of whether the patches really work and is shocked when Jay reveals that he is wearing one.

A supportive wife, Sam responds calmly to Jay after he finally figures out that she was right and that Micah is in charge of a cult. She reasons that they will find a way to get him and his followers to leave the house. As they enter the foyer, she and Jay find Micah and his followers moving into the house. When she asks him to leave, Micah refuses, pointing out that Jay signed a contract upon accepting the patches which gave them full access to the house. Sam’s threat to cops unless they leave is rebuffed, stating that they have a signed contract. This prompts Sam to call their lawyer who tells them that they are in the right, and the contract will never hold up. However, it will take months and thousands of dollars in legal fees to evict them. Flower, wanting to help, suggests that Sam should sleep with Micah because an outsider sleeping with the leader will undoubtely and quickly break up a cult. Of course, Sam refuses. She does, however, agree with Issac when he suggests talking to them; that surely they should listen to reason because they don’t want to engage in a legal fight either. Pete’s sarcastic response disappoints her, to which she responds that she does not like the new Pete.

Sam and Jay approach the cult optimistically hoping that by explaining how tiring, gruesome and expensive a legal fight will be, they’ll be able to convince them to leave before it gets to that point. Their attempts fall flat as Micah doesn’t budge stating months of arbitration is nothing compared to living forever. Sam then attempts to trap him by asking if he knows what it will be like to live forever, hoping that the very notion will prove unattractive. Using the ghosts as back-ups, she explains that everyone will eventually get sick of each other, and that things that used to be beautiful and appreciate, such as sunsets, will also become boring and underwhelming. Sam’s attempts fail and in a desperate move, she shouts that she slept with Micah. This unsettling “revelation” causes a rift among the cult members who then reject Jay’s membership and leave the house for good.

As Sasappis and Pete are talking, Sam walks in with Alberta and Trevor to find Flower siting on the sofa. She tells Flower that they told her about her brother, Robbie, and that she looked him up. She found that he is alive and emailed him under the guise of being a former member of the same cult Flower was in. Sam explains that she told him that Flower’s biggest regret was not making up with him before her death. She then excalims that she’s received a response from him and allows Flower to read her brother’s words out loud.

In “The TreeSam discovers that the new neighbors want to cut down centuries old tree that borders her and Jay’s property. Upon hearing this, Sasappis begs Sam to intervene in an effort to save the tree, stating that it is very significant to the Lenape culture. Without doing any addtional research, and going off the words of Sasappis only, Sam chooses to write an op-ed for the Ulster County Review which halts the cutting down of the tree. This attention draws crowds who convene at the tree, protesting its destruction. The crowd also praise Sam, who relishes in the attention. During the protest, a Lenape native man named Bob approaches Sam who tells her that her information is not correct and that the tree does not have the significance to the culture as Sam wrote. Sam then engages in a back and forth with him, suggesting that she knows more than him. Once Sasappis tells her the truth of why the tree is so important to him, she immediately apologizes. Nevertheless, she draws boos and suddenly the crowd moves over to the mansion where they protest her and the Woodstone Mansion, which subsequently loses a number of reservations.

Once Sam learns the seriousness of her mistake and why Sasappis wasn’t completely honest with her, she invites Bob to the site of where the tree once stood. He then explains that the land acknowledgement is a way for her and Jay to acknowledge and pay respect to the Lenape people who once lived and worked on the land on which they are building their home and business. Afterwards, Sam speaks to the ghosts of how important it is that we take care of our land, the same way the Lenape did, for the sake of future generations.

In “Halloween 2: The Ghost of Hetty’s PastSam reluctantly agrees to host a last-minute Halloween party after Jay, hoping to impress their “cool” new neighbors, June and Ally, mentioned that they would be hosting an exclusive party. The party, if you could call it that, only yields four other people, including the new neighbors, and the entertainment is pretty dismal. In an effort to create some excitement, Sam and Jay decide to do a seance, at the suggestion of Hetty, which inadvertently brings back the spirit of Molly, Hetty’s former maid in life. In trying to send her back, they discover that to do so successfully, they need to retrieve the feather duster that Molly has on her in death, from Ally who received the actual feather duster from Jay to compliment her costume.

Upon seeing how upset Hetty is that Molly was not only back, but that she was able to get to Heaven, Sam, suggests to Hetty that this might be an opportunity for her to forgive her and find closure so that maybe she too can move on. Of course, Hetty scoffs at the idea. However, Sam doesn’t give the idea up. After Flower suggests that Sam could put them both in a time-out situation so that they can hash out their differences, she decides to put Molly and Hetty into the only room in the house that neither one of them can break through- the vault. After Sam asks Hetty to help her find a lost earring, she leads her to the vault. Both Hetty and Molly are shocked to find the other in the space and Sam confesses that there was no lost earring; that she just wants them to work things out. But as she is speaking, Flower mistakenly closes the door on Sam and the ghosts, putting her in grave danger. Sam begins to freak out, fearing that she could die in the vault if help does not come soon. She is not able to get cell service in the vault, leaving it up to the other ghosts in the house to do all they can to bring Jay home and get him to the vault to save his wife. Despite trying to save her breaths, for fear that death could soon come for her like it did her fourth great grandfather, Elias, Sam explains to Hetty that because Elias was in a position of power over Molly, he was able to exert his will over her. Sam also explains that because Hetty was forced into a unwanted marriage with Elias, both women were victims of his, and that they lived at a time when the patriarchy ruled and women were always to blame when it cames to the sins of man.

Once Sam is released from the vault, she sits down with Jay, fethaer duster in hand, and calls upon the spirit world, sending Molly back to Heaven.

While in high school, Sam was a member of drama club, but was only given the opportunity to build sets as opposed to acting on stage.

Appearance

Sam rocks the look of a typical woman in their late 20s or early 30s. As one of the only two living people in the house, she has the freedom to wear different clothes on each day of the week. Most days she is dressed casually, usually wearing jeans, overalls, or a skirt and a tee-shirt, blouse, or sweater. She wears her slightly wavy blonde hair short and out, which stops at her shoulders. She has bright blue eyes and stands about 5’4.

Trivia

  • Sam is the American version of Allison Cooper from the BBC ‘Ghosts‘, a descendent of one of the ghosts who inherits the house as the only living relative with rights to the property. Unlike Alison who didn’t know she had these ancestors, Sam had actually visited the property as a young girl and had met her great aunt Sophie from whom she inherited the home.
  • Sam is portrayed by Rose McIver, the only non-American actor in the main cast. She is from New Zealand and speaks with a general American accent to become Samantha.
  • Sam and Allison (the BBC counterpart) both come into owning their respective large homes as the sole heir to the estate. Whereas we don’t know what Allison did for a living prior to coming into owning Button House, Sam already had a career as a writer prior to learning about her inheritance.

Quotes

  • “Great Aunt Sophie… I think I met her when I was a kid but I, I thought she died years ago.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “Well it’s just we don’t know the facts yet. Obviously, yes we’re probably going to sell. He thinks I’m a little impulsive.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “(Gasp!) What if WE opened a bed and breakfast!… Aren’t you sick of the city? We work insane hours to live in a shoebox that we can barely afford and somebody’s offering us a mansion!… You’re a chef that’s like half of the B’s right there. Plus, I can write freelance articles from anywhere so we can have income while we’re getting up and running. That’s an annoying strong argument, you have to admit it.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “Beats the hell out of our fifth floor walk up, huh!?…This air is so clean and that guy at the gas station in town… what was his name, Carl? He was folksy right?” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “Babe, this is old house 101. You light this stuff and it wards off evil spirits.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “Jay, we have a library!” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “Apparently my ancestors who lived here were actual robber barons, like cartoon evil, slept on a bed of gold types.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “It could use a little TLC but we can fix it up!” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “Okay, gun to your head… canary yellow or lavender mist?” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “Not sure, but it makes me feel like Joanna Gaines and I’m not mad at that. You wanna be my Chip, big boy?” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “Jay, I love you. But you know you get a bit scared of change but it’s okay to try something different.. I don’t know what it is but I… I feel a connection to this place. I could see a future here, us raising a family.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “So that’s it! We just do what you want?… Fine! But you know what, Jay? Sometimes you gotta just do something a little bold, you know, put some canary yellow up and get out of your neutral palette mindset.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “I hope you were this upset when I was technically dead for 3 minutes.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “Oh! You’re dressed kind of nice for a construction worker.” (Season 1, Episode 1)
  • “Jay, they’re back. I woke up and one was in the bathroom… I ran into the door when I tried to attack him with a toilet brush… it was the only thing handy. Please don’t make fun of me. I really saw one!” (Season 1, Episode 2)
  • “There’s a hippie and a viking and a guy dressed like Hamilton… one of them is not wearing any pants.” (Season 1, Episode 2)
  • “Shut up! (To Thor) (sings) “about that sports package, Steve! (says) What a deal!” (Season 1, Episode 2)
  • “You are a strong, sane woman. You are a strong, sane woman!” (Season 1, Episode 2)
  • “We’ve already sunk all our money into this place. Plus I see dead people wherever I go, so leaving doesn’t even help me… It seems like we’re stuck with each other but it is not going to go on like this with all of you up in my face all of the time. So what is it gonna take for you to leave me alone, huh? What do you want?” (Season 1, Episode 2)
  • “Guys! I get that it’s cool that you have access to a living now but you cannot just bombard me with questions all day so why don’t you choose a representative, and that person, and that person only, can come to me with requests.” (Season 1, Episode 3)
  • (Copying Thorfinn) “Well actually, Vikings sailed down the coast from lands north, from Canada… to search for furs, beavers, otters, moose. And when you find moose, much plenty you shall have!” (Season 1, Episode 3)
  • “No, we’re not even that cool! I mean Jay, he plays with action figures.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
  • “So I’m thinking we go full charm offense. We butter them up, and then we re-open the discussion about the B&B.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
  • “Well you should want the hotel because no hotel, no me. Who helps you watch TV? Who is writing your memoir? If we can’t build the B&B, we’re gonna have to sell this place. And God knows who would buy it. Certainly not someone who can see you and do things for you and help make your afterlives better. So unless you want to throw all that away, I’m gonna need your help.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
  • “There’s no point. They’re not gonna find anything because I now know there’s nothing wrong with me!… That was the living doctor, of course she thinks I’m delusional, she’s not trained for this. But the ghost doctor… if the ghosts were all in my head, I’d be seeing the same ones at the hospital as I do back at the house. But they’re not. I see different ones in different places, like that guy (points to a dead construction worker with a beam through his chest) Hey Bud!… I know it’s not great news, but at least I’m not crazy.” (Season 1, Episode 2)
  • It’ll be like Newhart… yea I guess you could say I know my favorite show.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
  • “(copying Pete) Now something people don’t know is that the show’s opening credits were filmed in New Hampshire even though as we all know, the show took place in rural Vermont.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
  • “Oh Jazz, we love jazz. If we had to name my favorite artists (copying Alberta) Sidney Bechet, Fletcher Henderson.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
  • “Hey, maybe next time we’ll come to your place for Pickleball…on your home court… where the carriage house used to be.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
  • “Oh my God, Wait! Halloween! Ghosts! This is your holiday! You guys must love Halloween!” (Season 1, Episode 5)
  • “Well next time, pop on your helmets. Cool kids wear lids!” (Season 1, Episode 5)
  • “Fine, I get it! I took you away from all those fun parties and… and then I called that kid’s mommy and now we have no gazebo and it’s all my fault. I’m sorry, Jay.” (Season 1, Episode 5)
  • “Shut it, Issac! Tonight was unacceptable. You guys destroyed our property, then lied about it, then tried to get children arrested. You’re no wise council of elders…No TV, one week.” (Season 1, Episode 5)
  • “I mean what would I even say? Like, ‘hi, your dead husband lives on my property and wants to look at you?’” (Season 1, Episode 6)
  • “I should’ve listened to you from the start and now everybody’s dead, everyone’s slept with their mom, and I’m an idiot.” (Season 1, Episode 6)
  • “I would like to say a few words, if that’s okay? I obviously didn’t know Pete like you guys did, but I actually have gotten to know him a little recently through his Pinecone Trooper manual. Pete highlighted passages that I guess must have been important to him. Like this list of seven attributes of a model Pinecone Trooper. A list that included things like loyalty and friendship. But Pete circled and wrote a note next to number 7, forgiveness. He wrote that this is more important than the rest because though we strive for perfection, we all fall short sometimes. And when it happens, we don’t give up on our fellow trooper, we forgive.” (Season 1, Episode 6)
  • “Well, I’m trying to come up with article ideas for my meeting at the Ulster County Review tomorrow. This is the kind of serious journalism I’ve always wanted to do and if it goes well, it could turn into a regular gig.” (Season 1, Episode 7)
  • “A Robin Hood, hippie bank robbery. That’s amazing! This should be the article I write!… Oh it’s for a local magazine. This is exactly the kind of thing they’d love. Quirky, human interest.” (Season 1, Episode 7)
  • “Oh my God. She ghosted him! Ghosting is what people say when you’re dating someone and they just kinda vanish. Who knows what was going on with Shiki 500 years ago. The point is she could be in a completely different headspace now. I think you should reach out. I could pass on the message.” (Season 1, Episode 7)
  • “Hey! I gave Shiki the message. It wasn’t easy. The editor was very curious as to why I just showed up with no appointment…. Yes I did, I read the message that you guys workshopped and let me say again, I was not a fan of it. (To Shiki) ‘Sup. Cool you’re still around, Shiki. Would love to hear the haps sometime, maybe.’ That’s it, that’s all he said. And she had a response (reading the text) ‘Hey.’ … Sassapis is freaking out which makes sense because clearly that was terrible advice.” (Season 1, Episode 7)
  • “Wait a minute, this is crazy! He’s playing games and as a woman I know you want the truth. The truth is that Sassapis loves you and he’s always loved you and he always will love you and I can’t think of a better person for you to one day hopefully spend eternity with.” (Season 1, Episode 7)
  • “It’s your fair trade coffee shop, Flower. Except it’s got like 100 locations. Read this!” (Season 1, Episode 7)
  • “Well I have some news. Lewis loved the bank robbery article! And he said Daisy’s Coffee Shop is even cool with it. Apparently the statutes of limitations ran out, and they think it makes them look badass. Best news for last, he wants me to come in next week to pitch more ideas.” (Season 1, Episode 7)
  • “Did you guys know there are 3 British soldiers from the Revolutionary War living in our garden shed?” (Season 1, Episode 8)
  • “Okay, I hear you, but there’s also a chance that something that seemed so unthinkable all those years ago, might not be a big deal now.” (Season 1, Episode 8)
  • “No, Jay! D&D is not just one of those games that’s done in an hour. It’s a rich, mutli-chapter campaign that could last for months!” (Season 1, Episode 8)
  • “Oh sure, I’ll pick some up the next time I’m at the alchemist.” (Season 1, Episode 9)
  • “Welcome to the Woodstone Bed and Breakfast!” (Season 1, Episode 9)
  • “Well I think it’s gonna be fun. It’s a dry run. This is our chance to prove to ourselves we can do this!” (Season 1, Episode 9)
  • “Ugh, those dates are just there to make you throw stuff away and buy more. I wrote a whole article on this. It’s a scam by big chicken… yea so stop acting like one and cook it!” (Season 1, Episode 9)
  • “They’re saying the moments you really remember are the ones you spend with the people you love. Look, running the B&B will be hard but at least we get to do it together. Remember when we were back in city, we worked so many hours we barely saw each other.” (Season 1, Episode 9)
  • “Babe, this could be huge for us! With all Kenny and Liz’ fancy made-the-cut friends in attendance, it could really land us on the map.” (Season 1, Episode 10)
  • “No this isn’t happening! Possession isn’t real. Possession can’t be real.” (Season 1, Episode 10)
  • “Question, if you’re unable to get the ghost out of my husband’s body, is there some sort of refund policy or… Hello?” (Season 1, Episode 10)
  • “We’re not waiting for any priest. We’re doing this exorcism ourselves.” (Season 1, Episode 10)
  • “Hetty, I know you’ve had fun in that body, but Jay and I have a lot riding on today going well. We need this to end, now… Hetty it’s time! I need my husband back. Stop thinking about yourself. Think about Jay.” (Season 1, Episode 10)
  • “Oh, we’re going away for the weekend. Everything’s been so crazy since moving here but we finally got a second to breathe so I’m going to Ohio to see if my dead mom is a ghost… It was six years ago. Honestly I’m excited. I never got a chance to say goodbye and now I might get to see her, so that’s amazing.” (Season 1, Episode 11)
  • “Pete, you’re a sweet guy, but I’ve only heard her talk about dating bootleggers or mob bosses… I just would hate to see you get hurt and if, for any reason, things went horribly, it could be awkward… like for everyone…for all of eternity. (Season 1, Episode 11)
  • “But the last time I saw my mom was when I went home for Thanksgiving and we got into this huge fight because she told me I should give up journalism and apply to law school.” (Season 1, Episode 11)
  • “No it worked out. I’m just, I’m also doing the B&B in addition to the journalism thing…I’m freelance… but then this guy who works at the New York Times read it, and he asked me to work there!… Yea, so that is your daughter… full time… at the paper of record.” (Season 1, Episode 11)
  • “Not even my lies are good enough for you! Yes, I don’t work for the New York Times. I just said that because I wanted you to admit you were wrong about the whole journalism thing. But apparently nothing I ever do will be good enough for you, Mom!” (Season 1, Episode 11)
  • “I mean, here I have this ridiculous second change that nobody in the world ever gets and instead of taking advantage of it, I’m in another fight with her just like the last time we saw each other.” (Season 1, Episode 11)
  • “Well, I’m feeling happy for her, obviously, and that I got to say goodbye but I’m sad because it feels like I don’t have a mom… again. You know, she was critical and annoying but there’s something nice about feeling like someone cares that much.” (Season 1, Episode 11)
  • “It’s just, you know, I excel in helping girlfriends get over breakups. I really hope she likes the Legally Blonde franchise cause that is gonna be a big part of her next 48 hours.” (Season 1, Episode 12)
  • “I thought this could be a chance for she and I to finally bond. Look, I don’t have siblings, so when you and I got married, I thought Bela and I could become sisters, but that hasn’t happened.” (Season 1, Episode 12)
  • “I don’t need a nickname but Manhattan Sam Chowder could be something, if you’re looking for one… Manhattan is a soup as well, it’s also where I lived, so… it’s tomato-based.” (Season 1, Episode 12)
  • “It was a ghost! Look, I know that this is gonna sound crazy but if it has any chance of salvaging this relationship, I have to come clean. A few months ago, I fell down the stairs, and I went into a coma- thank you for the flowers, by the way. And when I woke up, I could see ghosts. Trevor died in this house 20 years ago… Anyhow, somehow he managed to create a dating profile and the important part of this story is I see ghosts. And besides Jay, you’re the only person I’ve ever told. I know this must be difficult to believe, but I sincerely hope you do.” (Season 1, Episode 12)
  • “Jay, I’m doing sister banter!” (Season 1, Episode 12)
  • “I know I’ve made fun of her social media, but now that it could help us launch our Bed and Breakfast, we are the ones who are hashtag blessed.” (Season 1, Episode 13)
  • “Definitely enough to keep the bank off our backs for a few months. Take that, bank!” (Season 1, Episode 13)
  • “It all happened so fast. It was like this red light suddenly and when whoosh!” (Season 1, Episode 13)
  • “Pete says ‘good hustle on the backboards’ and he wants to talk about that.” (Season 1, Episode 14)
  • “We can’t open the hotel until this website is up and running so we better figure something out.” (Season 1, Episode 14)
  • “Thinking is a very important part of writing.” (Season 1, Episode 14)
  • “No, it needs to be right. It needs to be perfect. Once this website goes live, that’s it. We are open. There’s no turning back… If this B&B isn’t a success, then I dragged us all the way here and I made us turn our lives upside down for nothing, don’t you get that?” (Season 1, Episode 14)
  • “Right, okay so just to recap, the plan is to have me call a therapist, lie about not being able to go outside so that I can secretly translate the problems of a thousand year old viking who by the way doesn’t even want to talk about their problems. So we’ll have to spring all this on him, and hope he agrees? Okay! I guess that’s what we’ll do!” (Season 1, Episode 15)
  • (Translating for Thorfinn)“What I’m really concerned about is these night terrors I’ve been having. I would be happy to talk to you about my last dream. Because even though it might be very painful, you won’t be able to help me unless I tell you what I’m going through. (translating for Thorfinn) So I’m in a vast plain with my friend Oskar. He’s Norwegian. It’s pretty cold. I pick up a rock and I smash Oskar’s head. There’s like blood everywhere. I even get some brains up my nose. Oh my God. Now that I think about it, it is pretty similar to the time that I betrayed my best friend, Oskar. Thor come back!” (Season 1, Episode 15)
  • “I’m sorry I pressured you into therapy but I do think if you push through and get a little deeper, you might be able to process what happened and move on. Thor, talk to us. Tell us your story. Why did you kill Oskar?” (Season 1, Episode 15)
  • “No Thor. You just did what you had to do in a difficult situation. You were just trying to survive. Any one of us would’ve done the same thing.” (Season 1, Episode 15)
  • “Jay, I’m fine. I mean when it first happened, I was pretty freaked out but now I’m starting to think, I dunno. Maybe this all happened for a reason. Like maybe I’m supposed to help the ghosts with their problems so they can move on.” (Season 1, Episode 15)
  • “Oh remember the vintage watch we took off the corpse of Hetty’s dead robber barren husband?… Well, we finally have a buyer.” (Season 1, Episode 16)
  • “And I agree with her. This is the new you, buddy! You talk about things.” (Season 1, Episode 16)
  • “David was my uncle. I didn’t really know him but his mom was my great aunt Sophie, who I inherited this place from. I heard he was a good guy though.” (Season 1, Episode 16)
  • “Okay, how did you die and why aren’t you wearing any pants?… I was always curious but I didn’t know the etiquette around ghost deaths.” (Season 1, Episode 16)
  • “So, uh, you had mentioned that you used to hang out here with my Uncle David. Was there a guy named Trevor Lefkowitz in your crew?” (Season 1, Episode 16)
  • “You know, I think it might have been this one time you guys were all up here for Pinkus’ promotion is what I remember my Uncle David telling me as a child… during one of our few chats.” (Season 1, Episode 16)
  • “Say Ari, is that a Chekhov Chill? When you find one of those, aren’t you supposed to do something with it? I don’t make the rules, bro.” (Season 1, Episode 16)
  • “Hey back off! You’re hoping to possess Jay again, aren’t you?” (Season 1, Episode 17)
  • “God that’s awful! You know, I actually had kind of a bad prom too! Although now that I say it out loud, yours was definitely worse.” (Season 1, Episode 17)
  • “Oh boy! The ghosts can now interact with the Alexa.” (Season 1, Episode 17)
  • “You know, no livings allowed isn’t even a theme. It’s just like stupid.” (Season 1, Episode 17)
  • “As if! Like I care about some stupid ghost prom! Whatever!” (Season 1, Episode 17)
  • “When I was in high school, I loved everything French…the language, the food, the films I pretended to understand. I even had a French penpal, Pierre LaCroix. We IM’d for like two months. And then he told me that he was going to come to America, right when prom was happening and he wanted to take me. Turned out Pierre wasn’t real. Kelly Blakenship catfished me as a cruel prank. I waited outside my house for three hours. Of course he didn’t show up and then Kelly and her friends drove past and threw baguettes at me. And the next day at school was the worst… I wanted it to be true, Jay. But it wasn’t. And yes that was the only experience I had with prom so forgive me not getting invited to the ghost prom gives me a little PTSD.” (Season 1, Episode17)
  • “Wait so this girl is only awake for like one night a year, and she’s gonna spend it alone, on prom night. The very event that she tried to recreate because she died that night?” (Season 1, Episode 17)
  • “Yeah, with their fancy cars and their pickleball courts!” (Season 1, Episode 18)
  • “Okay. Small update. Thor apparently put a Norse curse on to us to stop us from opening the B&B.” (Season 1, Episode 18)
  • “The ghosts are saying this could result in me not being able to see them.” (Season 1, Episode 18)
  • “Thank you. Thank all of you. I can’t do this. If there’s even a small chance that this could make them all go away, then I don’t wanna take that chance. The curse might not even be real, we don’t know! I mean Pete got shot with an arrow. Was he cursed? The truth is life is gonna throw obstacles in our way but you know what? We will take them as they come. I mean, we can treat the termites. We can replace an old chandelier!” (Season 1, Episode 18)
  • “So why don’t we settle this B&B feud once and for all! One game of Pickleball for all the marbles. You win and we’ll sell you our place and leave town. We win, and you close down Farnsby&B.” (Season 1, Episode 18)
  • “Yes! Suck on that, curse!” (Season 1, Epsiode 18)
  • “Again, it’s probably not even real and even if it is, it’s okay! The curse was to prevent us from opening the B&B. Now we’re open. We won!” (Season 1, Episode 18)
  • We really need this visit to go well. After the floor thing, the last people gave us a scathing one-star review on Yelp” (Season 2, Episode 1)
  • “I know we were against it before, but it’s not the worst idea… The ghosts are saying they could spy on the guests… But if Tom and Debbie have complaints, then we could find out and course correct while they’re still here… Jay, think about it. People could think that our one bad review was a fluke. But two bad reviews, our only reviews? Would you stay at that B&B?” (Season 2, Episode 1)
  • “Okay, yes I should’ve told you, but honestly it’s working. I am able to respond in real time to their every need. I get it. It’s hard to hear criticism. But honestly, if Tom and Debbie thought that I was doing something wrong, I would love to know about it.” (Season 2, Episode 1)
  • “Too chatty? That is… very useful criticism. Thank you for letting me know. I will strive to improve that area of my personality during the remainder of their visit.” (Season 2, Episode 1)
  • “Oh! I believe that is Jay’s famous duck! But before the main event, your farm-to-table dinner starts with a wide assortment of tasty delights from across the Hudson. I’ll get your salads.” (Season 2, Episode 1)
  • “And now, they hate my playlist, they think that I tend to hover, that my voice is too high, and apparently that the pattern on my grandmother’s butter dish is satanic.” (Season 2, Episode 1)
  • “And you know what else? Jay’s cookies aren’t too salty, they’re amazing. And he’s got a great ass. And you might not be able to see it in these pants, but if you put him, like, a soft jean, or maybe a chino, your jaw would drop.” (Season 2, Episode 1)
  • “Well, I’m sort of an Alberta expert myself!” (Season 2, Episode 2)
  • “He did have one thought, though. He suggested that I have a co-host, and more specifically, that that cohost be Todd Pearlman.” (Season 2, Episode 2)
  • “Maybe we shouldn’t mess with that. You know, just cause it’s an antique.” (Season 2, Episode 2)
  • “Okay, no, I-I played a role in it. But honestly, wasn’t the podcast, like, Pete’s idea? It’s kind of all his fault. And just so you know, Pete agrees with me… I forgot you could see him.” (Season 2, Episode 2)
  • “Alberta, you’re looking at this through the lens of your era. I don’t think people will be as bothered by this as you worry they are. Your fans love you! One little incident’s not gonna change anything.” (Season 2, Episode 2)
  • “You know that that story makes what you did completely understandable, right?” (Season 2, Episode 2)
  • “You know, it’s interesting, Todd. If Alberta were here, I feel like she’d probably be pretty grateful this whole rat story came to light. She might even call me a hero for inviting you over and discovering the diary.” (Season 2, Episode 2)
  • “So you’ll just park here, and you’ll find the trailhead there. Now it is bear season so if you see any…just, uh, keep your distance.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “So far it’s just been antiquers and bird watchers… would love to find a way to expand our customer base.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “Well it sounds to me like somebody made some friends! Good for you for putting yourself out there… No, it’s just been harder on Jay. We both left our friends in the city, but I have all you guys to talk to and I know that sometimes he must feel left out.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “I just… I’m worried about Jay’s feelings getting hurt. There don’t seem to be many fun people our age in this town and he seemed like he was so excited.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “Jay, come on. They all live together in some weird collective and Micah came up with the formula for the patch in a dream.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “Pete, please just tell us everything is going to be okay. We really need some of your Pinecone Trooper, can-do spirit right now!” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “Oh sunsets, what about those? I mean right now, they’re beautiful but in like a thousand years, you’ll have seen so many, it’ll just be boring.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “Well, it’s true and I’m sorry if that causes a wedge (smirks)… …He talked about how forbidden it was the whole time, which only made it hotter, he said.” (Season 2, Episode 3)
  • “The thing is… this tree actually has special significance to the native Lenape!… …For one thing, those markings are definitely Lenape…yes, they represent the 13 dialects of the Lenape language.” (Season 2, Episode 4)
  • “It means we’re turning the pressure up on June and Ally. Now everybody will know they’re trying to destroy a piece of Lenape history!” (Season 2, Episode 4)
  • “Hell yeah it is! The power of the pen; it’s mightier than the sword!” (Season 2, Episode 4)
  • “I hate to quibble with you, Bob, But I do have it on pretty good authority that there were thirteen dialects… …Look, I appreciate that you come from a place of experience, but… …Well (chuckles) I’m… …I know the optics on this aren’t great and I don’t have an explanation for how I know this, but you have to trust me… …when I say I want to humbly apologize.” (Season 2, Episode 4)
  • “So the protestors are finally gone, but not before I had to profusely apologize for being brazenly ignorant about Lenape culture. What the hell, Sasappis? Why did you lie to me?” (Season 2, Episode 4)
  • “As we build our lives and our business here, we want to acknowledge that this is the ancestral land of the Lenape. They have taken care of this land for generations, and it is an honor to continue that tradition.” (Season 2, Episode 4)
  • “Just because a party’s small, doesn’t mean we can’t make it fun!” (Season 2, Episode 5)
  • “Spirits, we ask you to open your doors to the realm of the dead.” (Season 2, Episode 5)
  • “Actually, it worked… …In the way that a portal from the ceiling opened up and now we have a maid from the Gilded Age in our kitchen.” (Season 2, Episode 5)
  • “Hetty, maybe her being here is an opportunity… …No, I mean an opportunity to get closure, by forgiving her. Who know? Maybe it could even help you to move on.” (Season 2, Episode 5)
  • “And impenetrable to cell service apparently. Oh, God! I could die in here. I could actually die!” (Season 2, Episode 5)
  • “We’re trying to space out our corpse removals. Do you think it was painful, his death in here?” (Season 2, Episode 5)
  • “But the way things were was wrong. You shouldn’t be mad at each other when the real culprit is right there. Both of you were stuck in a patriarchal system that pitted women against each other, because holding a man accountable wasn’t an option.” (Season 2, Episode 5)
  • “Okay, Thor. So, I went over to the Farnsbys’ and I met a ghost. He was a Viking ghost. He was your son, Bjorn.” (Season 2, Episode 6)
  • “Could you be more specific? There were a number of dumb deaths that took place here. And also just some regular ones, too.” (Season 2, Episode 7)
  • “Right, it’s just, I actually know his widow. I met his grandkid. And I don’t think they would appreciate an inaccurate depiction.” (Season 2, Episode 7)
  • “So, you see, Pete did nothing wrong. It was an unfortunate incident and nothing “dumb” on Pete’s part.” (Season 2, Episode)
  • “I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to shut this whole thing down. I get that it’s accurate now, but as friends of Pete’s family, we just don’t feel comfortable…” (Season 2, Episode 7)
  • “Issac. Britain and the US are basically best friends. They are like our closest ally. You know, there’s even a name for the friendship between Britain and America. It’s called ‘The Special Relationship.’ … …Thank you, I learned it from a movie called ‘Love Actually.’” (Season 2, Episode 7)
  • “No, uh, after Jay got shot with an arrow, we agreed not to sue in return for them not doing Pete’s story.” (Season 2, Episode 7)
  • (As Flower) “Yo, man, is that a bear? I bet it totally wants to hug me? Hey Fluffy!” (Season 2, Episode 7)