1.09 - Alberta's Fan
|Season 1, Episode 9
|December 2, 2021
|Rose McIver, Utkarsh Ambudkar, Brandon Scott Jones, Brandon Scott Jones, Danielle Pinnock, Asher Grodman, Román Zaragoza, Sheila Carrasco, Rebecca Wisocky, Devan Chandler Long
|Tristan D. Lalla, Rodrigo Fernandez-Stoll, Andrew Carter, Matt Enos, Alice Manning, Matt Keyes, David John-Bulaya
|Episode Stills | Screen Captures
“Let’s go Sam!” “We don’t have all day!” Alberta exclaims as she is doing warm-up exercises to start their daily walk. “You literally have eternity” Sam smilingly retorts back. As Alberta and Sam banter back and forth with Isaac, Hetty, Thorfinn, and Pete looking on, Mark (the contractor) comes in with a young boy in his arms. Samantha asks “who’s this cute little guy” to which Mark responds, this is my son David and I hope you don’t mind that I brought him along – my wife is out of town for a few days. Alberta mutters under her breath, “Ugh…Why are all the good ones always married and alive?” Pete, in the background, throws his hands up and says “Hurtful”.
As Sam bends down to smile and welcome young David to the team, Mark jokingly asks if he should put him on his work crew, asking Sam, “Do you think he’s too young to hold a hammer?” Hetty, not knowing he’s joking, looks at him in disbelief and asks, “Are you mad?” Children under seven (7) aren’t suitable for hard labor!” Meanwhile, as David is looking around the room, he suddenly smiles and points to the back of the room where Isaac is and yells “Pirate!” Taken aback, Isaac states that he was a delegate of the Second Continental Congress. David once again points at him and says “Pirate!” Irritated, Isaac says it has to be because of his ruffled colonial garb.
As Mark tries to explain to his son that there is nobody there (but he loves his imagination), David runs off and Mark chases after him. Sam then turns around to the ghosts and asks in disbelief, “Hang on, so that kid can see you?” Isaac explains that although it is rare, sometimes young children can see ghosts. Thorfinn tells Sam that when people think children have an imaginary friend, it’s actually a ghost. Pete follows up with an experience that he had with a child seeing him as a ghost. By this time, Mark comes back with David and Samantha tells him that “We (Sam, Alberta, Hetty and Thorfinn) will back soon, we are going to go for a walk”. As Mark quizzingly looks around and asks “We?”, Sam realizes what she has said and quickly says, “Yes, as in the royal we!” and hurriedly walks out of the room.
Later, as Sam, Alberta, Hetty, and Thorfinn are walking and headed back to the mansion, Alberta asks how many steps they have walked to which Sam answers, but then says to the group that “she wasn’t pointing any fingers, but Hetty was really dragging.” Hetty quickly responds that it is not her fault that she died in heels, not to mention that she does not sleep because she suffers from “nerves”. Hetty wistfully says that if was alive, she could take laudanum (a sleeping potion of alcohol and morphine) and Sam should pick some up. Samantha sarcastically responds that she’ll do that the next time she goes to an alchemist. Hetty tells Samantha that she did not always need laudanum – when she was a little girl, there was an “angel-voiced servant” that would sing her to sleep, but she could not remember his name. Thorfinn tells Hetty that he was there at that time and the angel-voiced servant’s name was Gordon. Hetty responded that Gordon probably was his name, but since Gordon was a paid servant, she did not have to remember his name.
As they make their way back to the mansion, Alberta notices a “strange jalopy” in the driveway and Thorfinn yells out “Landship!”. Inside, Jay introduces Sam to Todd Pearlman, a historian. Hearing the word ‘historian’, Isaac struts out of another room and tells everyone, “Historian!” “Well, I think we know where this is going.” As Samantha welcomes him and asks what brings him there, Todd explains that he is from Altoona and he is there to study jazz musicians, specifically Alberta Haynes. As the other ghosts start to come into the room to see what’s going on, Isaac is teased because the historian is not there for him, as he had originally thought.
Todd begins to tell Sam about Alberta’s past, her family’s accomplishments, the museum he opened in her honor and the book he has written about her life. Excited, Alberta asks Sam to ask Todd about her murder. Todd tells Sam that although the official cause was a ‘cardiac event’, as a historian, he always suspected foul play. As Pete is telling Alberta that “if she is excited that she got murdered, then he’s excited for her”, Isaac is envious because this is not about him.
Because Alberta always suspected that she was murdered, she calls Todd a genius and tells Sam to inform Todd that her old trunk was upstairs if he would like to look in it. Sam, Jay, Pete, Alberta and Trevor go upstairs to show Todd the trunk. Alberta begins to reminiscence about lugging the trunk from show to show and not being allowed to stay in the hotel because of racism, to which Trevor nods his heads and says “Oh” and Pete states that he does not see color because he’s colorblind.
During this time, Todd is getting excited about the trunk’s contents, and he asks Sam and Jay if he could spend the night to continue looking. At first, they decline, but after Todd offers them $500, they both tell him, “Welcome to the Woodstone Bed and Breakfast!”
Downstairs, as Hetty is glancing out of the window, Thorfinn comes in and states that it is time for “Afternoon Walk”. Hetty politely declines and tells Thorfinn that because of the historian being there, Sam and Alberta are tending to him, so the whole gang would not be able to go. After Thorfinn asks again so that the two of them to catch up, Hetty reluctantly accepts.
Back in the kitchen, Jay voices his concerns to Sam about their new houseguest and Sam tells him that this is what running a bed and breakfast is about. Pete then comes in and tells Sam that they will do great as long as they have a travel agent to help them. Sam tells Pete that people pretty much book their own flights now and he stares in disbelief and starts to walk out of the kitchen as Todd walks in and through him. Since Todd did not know he was going to spend the night, he asks for a spare set of pajamas. Samantha tells him no problem as Jay looks on horrified. Todd then asks if he would be able to eat soon as he is hypoglycemic, and Sam assures him that something will be made for him.
After Todd leaves, Jay begins to complain about his pajamas being worn by another man and Sam once again reminds him of the responsibilities of running a bed and breakfast. Sam then goes to the freezer and pulls out a package of chicken for Jay to cook. Jay glances at it and then at Sam and tells her that the expiration date of the chicken is today, and he can’t cook it. Exasperated, Sam tells Jay that the chicken is still good and it’s “just a scam by big chicken” to make people throw away food to buy more, so start cooking, which Jay does.
As Thorfinn and Hetty are taking a walk, Thorfinn is nervously attempting to have a conversation with Hetty, but she interrupts him and tells him that although they get along fine, they are not “hang outside of the group type of friends”. Thorfinn tells Hetty that they used to be closer and Hetty asks “What are you talking about?” Thorfinn tells her it’s nothing and they should walk back in silence. Hetty agrees, but as they start walking back, Thorfinn starts talking again and Hetty practically runs back towards the mansion.
Back in the mansion, Todd is in his room, along with Alberta and Isaac. He has one of Alberta’s coats in his hands smelling it with deep breaths. Isaac warns Alberta that something must be wrong with someone who does this, but Alberta tells Isaac that he’s doing it because he’s an academic. Jay and Sam come into the room (with Trevor) to offer a towel and soap to Todd. Todd thanks Jay and Sam for the chicken dinner and for letting him stay, because it is a 6-hour drive back to Altoona. Sam then asks Todd why he chose Altoona for Alberta’s Museum. Alberta thinks it’s because Altoona is like a 24-hour New Orleans, but Todd tells Sam and Jay that the actual museum is in his mom’s garage, to which Isaac sarcastically responds, “Ah – as all the best museums are.” Alberta, still defending Todd, said that academics are often underpaid and just wait until his book about her comes out; everything will be ok. Sam then asks Todd when his book about Alberta will be coming out and Todd nonchalantly tells them that it’s planned for a summer release, but because it’s being self-published, it’s ok if it does not happen then. Trevor tells everyone that that’s not even considered a real book. By now, Alberta is starting to wonder about Todd.
Todd asks Jay and Sam if they would like to see something from his personal “Alberta” collection and Isaac, in the background, says yes. As everyone (especially Alberta) looks on apprehensively, Todd pulls out a small bottle with one of Alberta’s toenails inside of it. As everyone looks on horrified, Jay asked him why he had one of Alberta’s toenails. Todd stated that he bought it online and he hoped, that like in the movie ‘Jurassic Park‘, he hoped to clone an Alberta for them so they could hopefully be together one day. Alberta is not happy to hear this and angrily says that would never happen.
As Todd begins to take his shirt off in front of everyone to take a shower, the ghosts and Sam notice that Todd has a tattoo of Alberta covering his back. As Todd is walking out of the room, Sam, Alberta, and Trevor walk out after him, with Alberta crying, “No, oh, don’t make me hate my own face. Todd – you creepy nut!”
The next morning as Sam and Jay are in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee, Jay wonders if they are cut out to run a bed and breakfast. Pete says not with that attitude and Sam reminds him that they turned their lives upside down to make this dream work and he should not worry because of one weird guest. As Jay is walking out of the kitchen, he tells Sam that there should be a better way to vet their guests and Pete agrees, saying, “maybe like a licensed go-between?(travel agent).
Alberta then comes in the kitchen, upset, and tells Sam that she could not sleep last night because of Todd. As Sam is trying to comfort Alberta and tell her that no one is happy about the situation, Isaac strolls into the kitchen in a good mood with a cherry “Greetings and Salutations” to everyone. As Alberta is looking warily at Isaac, he turns to her and starts to tease her about the tattoo on Todd’s back. Upset and embarrassed, Alberta walks out of the kitchen, and Sam asks him if he’s happy now.
Upstairs, David (Mark’s son) is trying to take a nap but is restless. Thorfinn comes into the room and starts singing a song to him. As Hetty is walking by, she hears Thorfinn singing and suddenly remembers that Thorfinn was the one that sung to her when she was a little girl and could not get to sleep.
Feeling bad about teasing Alberta, Isaac goes outside and apologizes to her. She tells him that she probably deserved his teasing, but she always wanted to make her parents proud of her since they did not have the Same opportunities that she did, and she thought she had accomplished that.
As they are talking, Trevor appears and asks if anyone has seen Sam because he thinks that Todd is dying. As Alberta, Isaac, Pete, Jay and Sam rush to the room, they find Todd groaning on the floor. Jay is worried that Todd is sick with E.coli because of the chicken he cooked, but Sam tells him not to worry about that now and call 911. Because everyone is now worried about Todd dying on the premises and becoming a ghost, Jay, Sam and another contractor (who has no idea of what’s going on), drag him outside on a blanket to try and get him off the property. As they get him outside, still alive, the ambulance pulls up and takes Todd to the hospital.
During this time, Hetty finds Thorfinn and asks him why he did not remind her that he was the one who sang to her. Thorfinn told her that he tried to teach her his name, but for some reason Gordon was the name that stuck. He also thought that Hettie would remember him when she became a ghost, but when she did not, he thought it better not to say anything. Hetty thanked him for being there when no one else was and they hugged.
Jay walks into a room where Samantha, Isaac, Pete, Alberta, and Trevor are, and he tells Sam that he just got off the phone with the hospital and Todd is going to be ok. The ghosts start teasing Sam about carrying Todd out and the potential E.coli situation, and she laughs. After Jay asks what’s going on, she tells him that the ghosts are sharing wisdom and she reminds him that before getting the bed and breakfast, they hardly saw each other and now at least they are together. Jay agrees with Sam and admits the “toenail situation” freaked him out, but he’s ok now.
Jay gets a receives a text from a friend stating that Woodbridge is blowing up. After Samantha reassures the ghosts that this could be a good thing, Jay opens the text which has a link showing Todd being interviewed in a hospital bed. Todd tells the reporter that while staying at the Woodbridge Bed and Breakfast, he discovered a bottle of old moonshine that was in Alberta’s trunk. Because it was Alberta’s, he drank from it and not knowing that it contained poison, got sick. Todd told the reporter that the doctors informed him that the bottle had strychnine in it. Jay and Samantha are elated because this means they did not almost kill Todd and Alberta is happy because this means someone really did try and kill her.
As they are looking at the end of the interview, Jay shows Samantha that there has been over 50,000 viewers. Alberta realizes that viewers means people and a lot of those viewers complimented her and listened to her jazz album. She is ecstatic and dances around the room and is thankful to Todd, even though she still thinks he is creepy.
Now that Hetty remembers Thorfinn singing to her when she was a young girl, he attempts to sing her a lullaby. Once he starts singing; however, Hetty tells him that “it’s creepy at this age” and Thorfinn agrees.
- “Ugh. Why are the good ones always married? And alive?” – Alberta
- “it’s rare. But, occasionally, young children can see ghosts.” – Isaac
- “Sometimes, when child has imaginary friend, is actual ghost. Other times, kid just crazy.” – Thorfinn
- “I did not sleep. You know I suffer from nerves. At least when I was alive, I could take laudanum. It’s a simple mixture of alcohol and morphine. You should try it, Samantha.” – Hetty
- “Wow, there’s a whole museum about you, Alberta.” – Pete
- “Died. I just died again.” – Alberta
- “Welcome to the Woodstone Bed-and-Breakfast.” – Sam & Jay
- “He wants to put his junk in my jam-jams?” – Jay
- “Out of my room. I want him out of my room.” – Trevor
- “No, we would not! Oh, God. The hell we would.” – Alberta
- “No, I’m sorry, that was merely your visage on a 35-year-old man’s back.” – Isaac
- “Pelts do smell. Used to soak them in wolf urine to ward off bear.” – Thorfinn
- “we didn’t kill our first guest.” – Sam
- “To the cholera pit! It’s the safest place!” – Pete
- “Daddy would be proud. ♪ Because I’m famous! ♪” – Alberta