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• “Jay and Sam are interviewing potential assistants. So far, it’s been a bunch of duds.” – Sasappis
• “I blame child labor laws. How are people supposed to get experience when they’re wasting their youth in schools?” – Hetty
• “I just have one question for you. You’re at the airport. A gunman is using a hostage for cover. What do you do?” – Jay
• “And, Jay, you shoot the hostage. Speed is the perfect movie, and Mr. Keanu Reeves is a national treasure.” – Freddie
• “So Sam and Jay picked a third?” – Flower
• “I’m having situation with other ghost. It’s embarrassing! I’m getting bullied.” – Bjorn
• “I’m sorry, but it sound like you say “bullied,” which is impossible. Because you are mighty Viking. Who could bully mighty Viking?” – Thorfinn
• “Yeah, I’m a ghost. Hey, y’all. I’m Jessica. How’s it going?” – Jessica
• “I died in a car accident, so now I’m bound to this car. Well, this car and about…” – Jessica
• “That’s not okay with us! Indeed. It’s one thing when she must refrain from responding during brief interactions with the guests, lest she appear deranged. But all day, every day? That we cannot abide.” – Hetty
• “So Bjorn’s being bullied by one of the other ghosts at the Farnsby’s? Normally, I would counsel Bjorn to destroy enemy with violence, but can’t do that with woman, and, also, violence not affect ghost. Being father to adult ghost baby son… very complicated.” – Thorfinn
• “There’s a simple solution to Bjorn’s problems. All he has to do is use his words.” – Pete
• “Off to counsel Bjorn on how to continue cycle of violence. Good talk!” – Thorfinn
• “Oh, my God! Is that a… Toyota? You don’t see those every day.” – Sam
• “Hi. I’m Sam. So, you live in Freddie’s car? That’s interesting. He seems like a really great guy.” – Sam
• “He’s the best. Although, um, if he’s working here, there is one thing that I feel like you should know. Um, he killed me.” – Jessica
• “Well, you look great for a victim of blunt force head trauma.” – Sasappis
• “Oh, my God, he’s got a knife!” – Alberta
• “And Jay has a spoon!” – Flower
• “Whoa, whoa, whoa. This dead Jessica lady just goes wherever the car goes?” – Jay
• “Jay, that’s not the key point here.” – Alberta
• “It is fascinating, though.” – Hetty
• “Adding this to my Ghost Notes. This is huge. So, is the actual car the boundary, or does it extend to, like, a perimeter?” – Jay
• “You cannot simply overlook the fact that he killed someone just because he knows how to fold a towel into a swan.” – Hetty
• “Hey, Bjorn, I’m Pete! I’m a good friend of your dad’s! Let me go get him for you, okay?! Actually, if you don’t mind me asking, h-how’s that bullying situation going?” – Pete
• “I-I was bullied constantly as a kid. My mom says it was ’cause I was special and the other kids were jealous, which was not true, but comforting nonetheless.” – Pete
• “You’re trying to replace me as father to my Baby Bjorn!” – Thorfinn
• “Just want to be clear. You say listen to you and not my father.” – Bjorn
• “Oh, uh, Sam and Jay are getting rid of Freddie, cause, you know, the murdering.” – Alberta
• “Okay, you know what? I’m too buzzed to pull off these lies. Uh, Freddie didn’t kill me. I was driving the car, and I ran into a telephone pole, which came out of nowhere. And Freddie bought the car used a few years ago.”  – Jessica
• “Mom, hey, listen, I got fired. I know it’s just been one day. I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll pick up some Arby’s?” – Freddie
• “A sauce made from horses.” – Isaac
• “Samantha, funny story. Turns out Freddie didn’t actually kill the car ghost.” – Hetty
• “After brunch with her bitches, which, apparently, is a term of endearment.” – Isaac
• “Who cares if the guy killed somebody? He can organize the hell out of a pantry.” – Jay
• “”bastard” is a term of endearment? What has become of the lexicon?” – Isaac
• “I think Pete just wanted to help, Thor. Like an uncle. That’s what uncles do. They give you advice and buy you weed, and stare too long at your friends.” – Flower
• “Freddie isn’t responding to any Sam and Jay’s calls and texts.” – Isaac
• “So, Samantha and Jay are repeatedly placing orders in the hopes that one of them shall be delivered by Freddie, thus allowing them to apologize and win him back.” – Hetty
• “I think I’ll just go outside for some fresh air.” – Sasappis
• “Ah, I’ll come with you.” – Isaac
• “Please don’t.” – Sasappis
• “Ooh! Don’t get poked by that glass sticking out of her forehead if you kiss her!” – Alberta
• “Turns out, Judy only bully because she have crush on me. “ – Bjorn